This European production sports a 1978 date, but don't believe it -- it was obviously produced a good ten years earlier. It remained unreleased in the U.S. until finally dumped directly to television. The titles were obviously intended as a pathetic attempt to cash in on Dino DeLaurentiis' pathetic King Kong remake, which, at the risk of sounding redundant, is pretty darn pathetic.

The most striking thing about the movie is the fact that it contains no Kong, no King, and no Island. The entire story takes place on the continent of Africa, which is about as far removed from an island, geographically speaking, as one can get. The movie is really a cross between a good old fashioned jungle thriller and the spy/espionage genre that flourished in the Sixties. The film begins with a jeep creeping its way through a scrub-brush type of environment. A sign on the front helpfully identifies it as belonging to the East African Mining Company. The Jeep is ambushed by our hero Burt, a mercenary portrayed by beefcake star Brad Harris. Not exactly a household name, Harris made plenty of Euro-trash flicks in the Sixties, usually spy flicks and westerns. He possesses a square jaw, hunky physique, and exudes a general air of likable, earnest lunk-headedness. His partner in this ambush -- revealed to be a payroll robbery -- is weasely bad guy Albert, who promptly shoots everyone, including Burt, and absconds with all the loot. Roll the opening credits, accompanied by an annoyingly inappropriate musical score. The main theme, attributed to one Mario Mancini, is a sappy, "ooh, ooh" sort of thing that repeats throughout the flick like bad lounge music, appropriate to a bubbly romantic comedy perhaps, but hopelessly out of place with much of the action. The next scene has Albert and his assistant Turk in their cave/bad guy lab, where Albert implants a tiny transceiver in a gorilla's skull, shown in suitably graphic detail. They both wear surgical garb for the operation, but someone neglected to tell the actor playing Turk that a surgical mask is supposed to cover your nose as well as your mouth. The soundtrack features heartbeat noises to stress that this is a sci-fi sequence. Albert laughs menacingly as the gorilla instantly begins to stir as soon as the wound is sutured. Talk about timing your anesthesia perfectly!

Cut to Nairobi, where Burt has recovered from his gun wound and is bent on tracking down Albert for revenge. He visits Theodore, a fat slob of a bar owner who is a former associate of both Burt and Albert. Theodore's promiscuous wife Ursula offers Burt a drink and stands around with her bathrobe open, displaying her gold lame bra and panties. This is one of those movies where every time two characters interact one of them offers the other a drink. Not to complain, but I can't remember the last time anyone offered me a drink, whereas in this movie it seems to be the equivalent of a hand-shake. Ah, the good old days.... But I digress. Theodore denies any knowledge of Albert's whereabouts and proceeds to berate Ursula for her inappropriate behavior. Apparently she and Burt once were an item, but now he's no more than a memory.

Burt goes to meet with the couple's grown children, Robert and Diana. They are planning to trek into the jungle to hunt the "Sacred Monkey," which, although it is a major plot point, is also never really explained. It's like, "Oh, yeah, the Sacred Monkey," and everyone continues as if it's a given. Later we meet the Sacred Monkey, but as you will discover they couldn't really be talking about that Sacred Monkey. Daughter Diana, I would like to add, is introduced wearing a yellow leather skirt and matching boots. They invite Burt along, but he declines. He does learn that Turk occasionally frequents the bar, and he and hopes to use him to find Albert. That night at the bar, Ursula continues to cat it up in front of Theodore, dancing and flirting with other men. Diana shows up in yet another high-fashion leather dress, this time a black one slit up both sides. I apologize for my fixation on Diana's wardrobe changes, but that's about the extent of her character development. And it really is a great dress. She dances with Burt to swinging go-go style organ music, which seems a bit too Happening for such a seedy little bar. Burt sees Turk and follows him outside only to be jumped by several goons. He fights them off with the help of Robert but now knows that he is on the right trail. "It's men, not animals, that I'm going to have trouble with!" The next day Diana and Robert are off on their hunt. They drive around in a jeep and spot copious amounts of stock-footage wild life. Diana, wearing a fashionable Abercrombie and Fitch pith helmet with leopard-skin band, alternately gushes over the animals while enthusing about killing something with a high-powered rifle. Through out the rest of the film, her clothes, hair, and eye make-up will remain flawless while everyone else sweats like pigs.

Suddenly ominous music (interrupting the previously-described lounge theme) and black matte around the screen clues us in to the fact that someone is spying them with binoculars! Uh oh! It's Turk!

Diana laughs at the antics of some cute stock-footage leopard cubs, then promptly attempts to shoot their mother. Fortunately she misses, which is realistic considering the awkward way in which the actress hefts the heavy hunting rifle and doesn't even pretend to aim before firing.

That night at camp, the native bearers grow restless. The Jungle of the Sacred Monkey is Taboo! A pair of apes glower from the bushes. But not just any old apes -- these are Radio Controlled Apes! Yes, we finally learn the reason for Albert's gorilla operation at the start of the picture. He will conquer the world with a robot-gorilla army! We never see more than two at a time, which accurately pegs the film's lack of resources, and the ape suits look rather like Halloween costumes. Furthermore, the extras within don't bother to navigate on all fours or act like gorillas -- they just plod around upright like guys in ape suits. I suppose the original impetus for the production (back around 1968) was to cash in on "Planet of the Apes." One can imagine the producer saying, "Hey! Apes is apes! Am I right?"

Anyway, the apes attack and abduct Diana, while the natives scatter without bothering to shoot at them. Turk arrives and warns Robert that he had better cooperate or Diana will get it. Meanwhile, a mysterious hand reaches into the frame to retrieve Diana's lost bracelet. Robert returns to Nairobi to relate the bad news to Theodore and Burt. "The gorillas behaved as if they had some sort of plan!" he exclaims. "Like robots!" (Robots have plans?) "It wouldn't be the first time gorillas have spared their prey!" chimes in Theodore, confusing those of us who thought gorillas were vegetarians. Hearing of Turk's involvement in all this, Burt agrees to try to rescue Diana. Ursula warns him to beware of a trap. Burt and Robert return to the area, only this time they take a boat down river. This is surprising, because previously they had driven a jeep over a lot of grass land to get there. The real reason for this change in transportation is so that the producer could throw in some more stock footage, this time of hippos and crocodiles. Hiking in to the camp site, they spot a chimp in a tree. "The Sacred Monkey!" exclaims their guide (remember?). It's a chimpanzee, corrects Burt. "I didn't mean the chimpanzee," the guide retorts. Okay, so what did he mean? The scene ends there, unresolved.

They reach the campsite. "It's just like I left it!" says Robert, as if that fact were cause for comment. I would think it would have been more unusual if the camp wasn't how he left it.

Meanwhile, a mysterious Jungle Woman watches from afar. After all, it wouldn't be much of a jungle movie without a wild Jungle Woman, would it? She, it turns out, is the Sacred Monkey, despite being entirely un-monkey-like in every respect. In fact, she is a reasonably attractive topless woman with long hair that conveniently obscures sensitive areas. Surely no one could have mistaken her for a monkey. So this is what they were going to shoot? A human being? Conversely, if they didn't know that the Sacred Monkey was really a Jungle Woman, what did they think the Sacred Monkey was? So everyone must have some sort of shared assumption about its nature, like it was some kind of actual monkey. Yet as soon as the Jungle Woman is introduced, she is identified as the Sacred Monkey! So clearly everyone knows that the Sacred Monkey is really a woman, so why keep calling her the Sacred Monkey? Oh, the Horror! The logical horror!

Later, Robert rendezvous with Turk in the jungle -- the whole thing has been a big scheme to lure Burt. The reason for this will be made eminently unclear later on. That night, Jungle Woman sneaks into Burt's tent while he sleeps. This scene serves little purpose except to show Brad Harris with his shirt off. Jungle Woman stares in awe at his massive pecs and washboard abs, then leaves. The next day finds our little troop walking deeper into the jungle, observing still more stock footage wild life. When the jungle is silent, the guide intones, "The spirit of Death is near!" Oh, for the simple life of a stereotypical African Jungle Guide. But wait! Half-way through its running time, this movie still isn't done introducing new characters! A mysterious stranger watches from the bushes. He is quickly attacked by apes (Radio controlled? Who knows?), but Burt arrives in the nick of time to shoot them. "Then we're even!" says the stranger for no apparent reason, as they've never met. Mysterious Stranger reveals that he is actually an Interpol Agent. He further reveals that he too is after Albert and has been following Burt for some time. He further reveals that he has no intention of interfering with Burt's plan of settling the score, which begs the question of why he bothers to follow him at all? Why not just work on another case while Burt takes out Albert? Anyway, don't waste any time pondering it, because the Interpol agent gets killed in the very next scene, having accomplished absolutely nothing in the way of furthering the plot. Lacking any drinks to offer, Burt gives him a cigarette.

Back at camp, apes attack again, and Turk kills Robert. Meanwhile, angry natives attack Burt and the Interpol agent. They tie them to poles and carry them a little distance, but why they do this remains a mystery, as they promptly release them again. You would think they wouldn't bother lugging around two prisoners (especially Burt!) if they didn't have to. "Why are they untying us?" wonders Interpol Agent. "They're savages!" replies Burt, as if that explained anything. "They expect us to run for our lives!" Personally I don't find that an unreasonable expectation, regardless of whether it's coming from savages or civilized people. Sure enough, our protagonists make a run for it, but only Burt escapes with his life. Fortunately, after killing the hapless Interpol man, the natives apparently lose interest and don't bother to pursue Burt at all.

Meanwhile, Turk hooks up with Albert in the jungle. He relates how Burt was captured by the natives, although as far as we could see he couldn't really have known about that (he was running away, too). "It was your gorillas that ruined the plan!" he complains, leaving the audience to wonder what plan he's talking about. Don't worry, eventually it's all explained, but don't expect it to make any sense. "I had everything planned to the letter!" seethes Albert. "It was all so perfect! Perfect! What went wrong? What? What?" To which I reply, "The Script! Script!"

Back to Burt. He finds a picturesque stream and decides to refresh himself after a tough escape from murderous tribesmen. He strips off his shirt and frolics around in the water, giving us ample time to marvel at his glistening bare chest. Jungle Woman, not far off, ogles his manliness as well and leaves him a gift in the form of fruit. I do have to quibble with the filmmakers' catering service, though, as I'm fairly certain that pineapples and grapes don't grow in abundance in the African Interior.

Apes attack. (Boy, I'm typing that phrase a lot!) However, Jungle Woman orders them off, and they obey, so I'm assuming that they're just normal apes attacking a human for no apparent reason not, you know, radio-controlled apes attacking a human for no apparent reason.

Back in Nairobi, Ursula takes a bath. Then she packs to leave but is confronted by Theodore, who proceeds to slap her around. "I'm tired of this stinking hell hole!" she spits in full Oscar-clip mode. "You promised me the world! London! Paris! Rome! Well, I'm getting out on my own!" So we're to assume that she married this fat slob who owns a dive in Nairobi because he promised her the world, and she actually believed him? That really doesn't say much for her intelligence, does it? "You're revolting to me!" she rants. "I can't stand to have you touch me! You make me sick!"

"It's only because I love you that I'm so jealous," Theodore counters lamely. I guess that makes up for the occasional beating.

Meanwhile, Burt has found himself a cozy cave in which to rest up. The obviously-enamored Jungle Woman makes another appearance, but this time Burt manages to get a hold of her. Jungle Woman doesn't speak English, so Burt decides to call her Eve. He also recognizes Diana's bracelet (picked up by the mysterious hand earlier) and coaxes Eve into revealing her whereabouts, even though there has been no indication that she knows the location of Albert's secret lair. We must merely accept that she does.

This brings us to the aforementioned secret lair -- the laboratory in the cave from the beginning of the flick, remember? A gorilla brings Diana to Albert, who proceeds to gloat in typical screen-villain fashion, boasting that the gorilla is just like a robot! He always obeys! This should act as a signal to alert viewers that he will soon die at the hands of his own creation. Oops, sorry. Gave it away, didn't I? He further threatens to throw Diana into a cage with some of his female experiments -- who appear to be just normal women in cages -- unless she gives in to his sweaty, weasely charms. He points out his amazing brain-control device, which is nothing more than a large, stylized painting of a brain with a tiny red light in the middle. "I can take control of all humanity with this invention!" Burt and Eve arrive, giving Albert a chance to explain his plan. He does this over the cave's convenient P.A. system -- which seems a tad bit unnecessary, considering the only other person there besides himself is Turk. One can imagine him waiting impatiently for his assistant to leave the immediate vicinity so that there will be an excuse to bark orders over the loudspeaker. Apparently, Albert hatched this whole scheme so he could use Burt as his first human guinea pig. Of course, this calls into question what the female experiments in the previous scene were all about. And why Burt? Wouldn't any human do just as well? He's got a cage full of women, after all. And isn't it a wee bit risky to let some guy who's itching to kill you into your secret lair? I guess Mad Science and overconfidence just go hand in hand.

Apes attack. (I swear, this is almost the last time I'm going to type this!) Eve is captured and brought to Albert, while Turk gets the drop on Burt. "I keep bumping into you," he sneers. "It must be fate!" Wait, I thought it was all an elaborate plan to lure--oh, never mind. It's all irrelevant anyway, as Burt quickly turns the tables and kills Turk. Elsewhere in the rather large cavern, Eve is presented to Albert. "The Sacred Monkey, no less!" he exclaims. Does everyone know about this except me?

Using the women as hostages, Albert forces Burt to give himself up. The radio-apes are now revealed to be in a cage, but the bars are strangely bent, tipping us off to the fact that prior to filming this take there was probably a gorilla-bends-bars-and-escapes sequence, and then someone made a half-hearted effort to bend them back again. Let's see, shall we?

From out of the blue Theodore and Ursula show up. It is now revealed that he's been providing financial backing for Albert's schemes (I guess the payroll robbery wasn't enough), but now he's miffed about Albert killing his son and kidnapping his daughter. "Release my daughter!" he commands. "It was a mistake," counters Albert. Boy, for an evil mastermind he sure comes up short in the excuses category. His robot gorillas accidentally kidnapped Diana in the middle of the jungle? Who's going to swallow that? Strangely though, Ursula is not only unconcerned but actually relishes the thought of witnessing Diana's death! I get the impression that maybe Ursula is actually supposed to be Theodore's second wife, but this is never brought up, leaving one with the impression that she is merely the world's worst parent. In a second (gasp!) reversal, Ursula shoots Theodore! She reveals that she has really been planning all along to run off with Albert! "He promised to take me away!" Now, Ursula has previously shown herself to be not too bright, but this really takes the cake! Does she honestly think Albert's going to put everything on hold for her? One can imagine the romantic conversation (although when they would have had time to have one is beyond me). "Really darling, as soon as I conquer the world with my army of robot gorillas we'll tour Europe -- just the two of us."

Fortunately for everyone, Ursula is quickly put out of her stupidity. She attacks Eve for no apparent reason and is shot by Albert. "I've been hunting the Sacred Monkey for a year!" he rationalizes. Oh yeah? Why? Here we are, five minutes from the end of the picture, and this is the first time he's mentioned it. It must have been tremendously important. Something to do with Evil Science, no doubt.

Anyway, time for the wrap up. Burt appears but is nabbed by robo-apes who escape their cage by bending the bars apart (told ya!). "Shoot the atomic brain!" advises Diana. I'm not really sure that that's the most helpful instruction she could have given (and nothing had been mentioned about anything being atomic), but Burt instantly grasps that he should shoot the little red light on the large drawing of the brain hanging on the cave wall. Well, what d'ya know? Shooting out the little red light makes all the cheesy electronic equipment blow up. I guess maybe Albert should have installed a little protective cover around it or something. All his plans for world domination foiled because of a simple design flaw. Oh, the bitter irony.

Now you would think that the loss of the radio control unit would make the apes revert back to normal apes -- the kind that just want to be left alone and pick lice, but instead it makes them turn on Albert, who strangely begins grabbing his head and moaning as if he's having some kind of seizure. Why? I have no idea. Unfortunately, we never get to see what the apes do to him. They merely escort him off camera, one ape on either side.