This is a monster movie where the main monster is Torgo. Torgo is a man with large knees that is unable to walk quickly; why this is supposed to be scary I am unable to determine.

Yes, it's THAT kind of a movie.

This movie beats "Plan 9." It beats "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie." It is so abominably bad that you either love it or want to kill yourself, if not both at once.

It begins with a family on vacation, driving through America's Heartland. It continues with a family on vacation, driving through America's Heartland. It continues to continue with a family on vacation, driving through America's Heartland.

After about fifteen minutes, something finally happens. Not much -- they just get stopped by a cop. Then they go off driving again.

Eventually they come to a tiny house in the middle of nowhere where the only person to be seen is Torgo. Apparently someone else is around, though, who Torgo calls "the Master." The father of the family (who is also the director, producer, writer, etc. of the movie) insists that they will be staying the night there, even though neither Torgo nor his family like the idea. But Torgo doesn't seem to care that much, so when they decide to come in, he brings their bags in.

Shortly thereafter things get really weird. Torgo likes the wife, so he comes onto her, and she rebuffs him vehemently. I guess she just isn't a "knees" gal. Then their dog (did I mention they had a dog?) gets killed by wild dogs who never show up again.

Then, despite the wild dogs, the man goes out into the night and discovers a sort of satanic Stonehenge with a bunch of women standing against stone pillars and a vampire-looking guy in a black robe sleeping on a stone table in the center of the circle. Despite this, the man does not get his family and leave immediately.

Lots of bizzare stuff ensues, the ultimate result being a couple of (apparent) deaths, and the family becoming a part of this cult.

By the way, the Master is not Manos. The Master worships Manos, and because of this has two giant red hands on his robe, which looks like a big black poncho when he is standing.

Scene to watch for: Torgo walking (with the Torgo theme playing in the background).

Best line: "My name is Torgo. I look after the house while the master is away."