I think the thing that bothers me most about this movie is that they tried. They really, sincerely tried. Even with the lumbering, ungodly bulk of Marlon Brando, a hero who looked as if he could barely be trusted to tie his own shoes much less administer The Law to anyone, and a couple of hack script writers slaying one of H. G. Wells' masterpieces, they tried. They wanted a movie that would have the same message as the book: "Don't play God, you naughty, naughty humans." But it just didn't fly. Probably because they removed all of the material that should convince you of this point; instead, we're left with the impression that the humans on the island were sadistic jerkwads and they all deserved to die.

Mercifully, most of the details of this movie have fled from my memory, but I recall some of the most grevious faults:

- Brando looked and sounded vaguely bored throughout the entire movie -- even when he was being killed (and why did they feel the need to insert that scene, anyway?). No actor is so great that he can sleepwalk through a part and expect nobody to notice.

- The screenwriters added several beast characters whose only purpose was to get killed off and make us feel bad. This is never a good idea.

- They changed the ending. Rule 1 of the movie adaptations: never, ever change the ending. I don't want to spoil either ending, so I won't say more about this here.

- The story was originally told from a single character's viewpoint, which had a nice humanizing effect (no pun intended). The movie, on the other hand, jumps around all over the place for no obvious reason, removing whatever vestiges of suspense might have remained.

- Since it's impossible that a movie should not have a love interest for the male lead, they threw one in just for the heck of it.

Rating: one turkey. Only see it if you enjoy laughing at badly made up beast people.

Scene to watch for: The strangest piano duet in history.

Best line: "Are you a doctor?" / "Well, I'm more of a vet."

Things that make you go "Huh?": The continued and baffling desecration of a literary semi-classic.

Response From RinkWorks:

I'm only commenting here so that I can slip in my favorite Mr. Cranky-ism (http://www.mrcranky.com/). While "reviewing" this movie, he noted, in light of the fact that Brando was playing the Doctor, that a better title for the movie would have been "The Island IS Dr. Moreau." -- Dave.