Flash Gordon, world famous star, sits in a manky car awaiting a manky plane with no seats to take him who knows where. This is just the first of the unfounded and slightly holey plot twists that this film thrives on. Barely two minutes later, the wooden pilots (brilliantly bad actors -- oh, they had to have tried to be that bad) have disappeared along with the windscreen thanks to Ming's "hot hail." The rest of the plane is fine, and of course Flash and Dale survive, but thankfully the quality of the film stays the same throughout.

The film is a masterpiece of the four color world of comics, having no degree of reality at all. From the bad guys who melt or disappear to the small pet people with those cute little swords, the film revels in the campiness of life. There are also stunning (literally) performances from Brian "CHHAAIII!" Blessed as Voltan to Dale "Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!" Arden. Even Timothy Dalton was sucked into this little gem: not only is it a masterpiece of bad films, it is also a trap for established and respected actors.

But not only is it bad, it is also hilarious! Who can suppress a chuckle at Voltan's face when he says "Gordon's alive!" when the industrial size green balloon attacks Flash on Arboria, or the way the "alluring" Princess Aura looks like she has been on cold turkey? Who has trouble not cracking up at the death squeals of the rats in bright red gas masks, the lizard men with eyes in their mouths, the pitiful excuses for planets that are lumps of rock, not to mention the black hole which is the most colorful thing since the sixties?

On a more intellectual level, how about the look on the pilot's face as he orders "charge the capacitator"? What is a capacitator? I know what a capacitor is....

My final comment is left to the master of camp himself: the ever brilliant Freddie Mercury. FLASH! AHH AHH!

Four turkeys for this milestone in the field of bad bad bad bad films.

Response From RinkWorks:

Manky?