"Skinner" is a truly horrible movie. If you can get past the bad lighting and the awful sound, and the lack of a plot, really...well, it's bad. It stars Ted Raimi as Dennis Skinner, Ricki Lake as his landlady, and Traci Lords as the psycho-prostitute who hunts our intrepid serial killer. Ted (who is perhaps best known for his roles in "Xena: Warrior Princess" as Joxer and "Seaquest: DSV" as Lt. O'Neil) is a veteran of bad and mediocre horror movies, especially since his brother is "Evil Dead" director Sam Raimi. He has a knack in this movie of coming off genuinely creepy...not scary really, just creepy, and his scenes are the best in the movie.

Traci Lords, who was a porn star until she decided to go "respectable" is simply a bad actress. In half the movie you can't hear a word she says, because she mumbles all her lines. Her character is supposed to have a limp, but she forgets. She takes a few steps normally, then suddenly starts dragging her leg in a totally unconvincing act. She wears this skimpy nightgown under a trenchcoat -- it's the thing to wear this year for drugged up former-prostitutes who are trying to extract revenge on a guy whom she's obsessed with.

Ricki Lake (you know what she's famous for) plays a woman who's married to a trucker. Being lonely and in need of money, she lets out the room to Raimi. Now, we had fun with this here. It's a game called, "Warning Signs Your Tenant is a Psychotic Serial Killer." See how many you can count that she totally ignored (including a blood-drenched towel that he explained away by saying he was a hemophiliac, though he had no bandages anywhere). Her performance is lackluster, though she tried to make the best of it, "tried" being the operative word here.

The plot is fairly simple (what there is of it): Raimi is a killer who rents a room from Lake. He settles in quickly, befriending the lonely wife and being a nice guy overall. His bloody habits soon take hold, and he goes on a killing spree. In other words, he kills just about every extra you see in the movie, not that there's that many of them in the first place. There is the most deserted ghetto I've ever seen: no bums, no cops, and barely any prostitutes.

As time goes on, you can quickly figure out that his favorite victims are prostitutes, even if only because there's no one else in the movie to kill. I must give the filmmakers this: his first kill is actually somewhat scary, because they do the artful thing and turn away before you see what's going on. Other than that, there's nothing but cheese. A little ways into the movie they introduce Lords, who rents a sleazy motel room and proceeds to swear vows to hunt down Raimi. After those vows, she shoots up and passes out on her bed. Why? Well, all psychotic hunters do that of course!

As Raimi's killing spree goes on, he starts getting sloppier. For instance, at his workplace, a guy named Earl kids around with Mr. Skinner. Mr. Skinner doesn't like this. Eventually, of course, he jumps the hapless Earl, skins him, and then runs around the mostly deserted city in the guy's skin and imitates Earl. Later, a woman was was kicked out of her loving boyfriend's car and accidentally runs into Raimi. So, he's just FORCED to whack her.

Of course, there's a token romance between Lake and Raimi, which they mercifully cut out of the movie. Character interaction is superficial and naive. Still, it's got its moments, and it's fun just to sit back and laugh.

Scene to watch for: The chicken scene. Ricki Lake is slicing a chicken and cuts herself. She drops this huge butcher knife on the floor, and Raimi steps up behind her, picking up the knife. She turns, surprised, and he uses the knife on the chicken, peeling the skin off. He massages the chicken breast with just a *little* too much vigor, then wipes the bloody knife on it and hands it back to her. AND SHE THANKS HIM FOR IT! A must see.

Best line: "...and when you're five years old, that really ****s you up."

Thing that makes you go "Huh?": His water fetish. No explanation -- it's just there.