I know this one has already been review by the guys running this great site, but I thought I'd throw my own two cents in.

The movies starts with a young woman picking flowers when she steps into a noose trap. Not one of the usual "haul the victim into the tree" snare traps from the Bugs Bunny Cartoons. No, this trap consists of a guy holding a noose and kneeling about eight feet to her left. By dumb luck, she manages not to see them, steps in the noose, and gets dragged away.

We cut to a village where everyone is busy preparing for a wedding. We see the bride taking a bath and being tended to by her bridesmaids. The bride to be, gorgeous blond Amalthea (hereafter refered to as Amy) asks her brown-haired maid of honor and best friend Estrild (hereafter Buffy) to go check on her sister who is late from picking flowers.

Side note: All of the women in this movie look more like members of an 80s girls' rock group than hardened women warriors. Especially "Buffy," who looks a lot like the lead singer from the Bangles.

Anyway, the same bunch of thugs from before come along, raid the villiage, kidnap the men, rape the women, and do all the things that are required by law to happen to small villages at the beginning of EVERY fantasy movie.

Buffy watches the village burn to the ground from the woods, crying her eyes out the whole time. Somehow, despite the fact that her primitive amazon garb is made of bright blue denim, she remains unseen despite being about five feet from the pillaging. Meeting up with Amy (who managed to hide inside a burning building), they go off to rescue their boyfriends.

As they are about to set off in a canoe, they meet up with a black-haired woman from their village (hereafter Bambi, who is the only actress in the movie who plays a convincing amazon). Bambi killed the guy who rode off with her and took all his stuff. (Insert your own divorce joke here.) They set sail, with Buffy sitting idly in the middle of the canoe and looking extremely bored for someone on a bold quest where the odds are a zillion to one against them.

Side note: Buffy spends about half her lines making reference to being hungry and wanting to eat. Some friends and I made a drinking game for this movie where you do a shot for every time Buffy makes a reference to food.

After a while, they come upon a shack where a couple of the thugs are holding two women hostage. Amy and Bambi fight the guards and discover that one of the women is Amy's missing sister, the flower girl from before the credits. Then they ride off to the city of the Warlord. Sometime before they get there, they become involved with the underground rebellion. Somewhere around here, Amy says some inspiring line about, "I will be no man's slave and no man's whore." I think this was stuck in here to give some credence to this movie as a feminist fairy tale and not just the lame exploitative action flick it is. But I digress.

In an ill-concieved spy mission, the four women go into the village in their best Renn Fest costumes. (Bambi in a headress that induces Princess Leia Cinnabon flashbacks.) Amy finds out that her fiance, as well as the rest of the men, are being used for gladitorial combat in the Warlord's palace. Of course this leaves her with the problem of how to get in, something that is solved by the basic incompetence of her friends. Amy's sister winds up walking right up to the gates of the Warlord's palace as he is entering and says she wants to be with him.

While trying to find Amy's sister, Buffy gets trapped in an alley and has her dress ripped. We can plainly see that she has nothing on under the dress -- and yet, a few scenes later, when Buffy is being taken to the palace to serve in the Warlord's harem, we see her denim outfit underneath her ripped dress. Amy and Bambi try to fight the guards to save Buffy, but they all get captured.

The action separates a bit here, with each woman going someplace else. Buffy gets sent to the harem set from "Deathstalker," where she gets a new outfit that is one of the highlights of the movie. (A female member of our movie-watching group is planning to base her new Renn Fest costume on this outfit.) The gladiators get access to the harem every couple of nights while being chaperoned by this fat pink-robed guy with a high voice and a Fu Man Chu mustache. This gives Buffy the chance to plan an escape with the captured men. There's also a subplot here with one of the gladiators (who hits on Buffy a lot) being offered more privileges if he'll rat out the members of the rebellion among the gladiators, but nothing comes of it other than him being killed by Amy's boyfriend towards the end.

Bambi gets taken to a torture chamber, where this guy who looks like a more sinister TV's Frank tortures her. The warlord watches her get tortured and says, "You're much too beautiful a girl to let yourself be broken into food for the royal dogs." She later tries to escape and gets killed.

Just down the hall, Amy is tied up. The Warlord tries to force her into submission, but she refuses. For the better part of the rest of the movie, we see Amy tied to a rack, in a scene that has become famous to B-Movie fans everywhere. She gets tortured by this guy who has really weird glasses, who is trying to conditon her into becoming a prime love slave. He does this with the aid of a weird metal claw thing that pricks her if she tries to struggle or get free of her bonds. She escapes in a manner that must be seen to be believed. She manages to push him straight back into a man-sized pit of acid that just happened to be right there in front of the rack.

Amy and Buffy run into each other in the hallway and escape back to the rebels. With the gladiators ready to help them, the rebels agree to attack during the gladiator games the next day. While all this goes on, we see stock footage of the harem scenes from "Deathstalker." We're even treated to the weird Yoda/Boy/Man with the magic sword falling into the roof of the harem like in "Deathstalker."

A big battle ensues, with Amy wearing an outfit that consists of a leather tunic with a fringe skirt and black spandex shorts. Amy's sister, who has been on the Warlord's arm this whole time, picks up a spear and kills him, while Amy fences with him. And so the movie ends with everyone reuniting and living happily ever after. Or at least until "Barbarian Queen II."

Best line: "There are no little girls anymore."