This was a fun laugh fest (to laugh AT, not WITH).

The story goes that the staff of a high school are actually aliens attempting to take over the world through parasitic invasion. Most of our heroes are the regular assortment of high school stereotypes. We have the the geek, Miss Cheerleader/Popularity, local druggie, star football jock, and new kid.

In the opening scene we have a teacher running away from Robert Patrick who has just stabbed her in the hand with a pencil. I love the dry wit in these movies. After stabbing her, Patrick muses, "I've always wanted to do that." The teacher runs away but is locked in the high school. Once she arrives at the locked front door, another teacher stands outside saying she can't open it because she doesn't have her key. As Patrick closes in she tries to help her. The door is eventually opened, and she makes it out safely and locks Patrick in. At this point the other teacher is revealed to be an alien, and she kills her. Why didn't she just kill her while she was behind the door?

About ten minutes in, the movie has an incredibly cheesy close up. For no reason, an alien teacher looks at the camera, and the camera just closes in, complete with horror shock music.

We learn that these aliens need water to survive (hence they inhabit humans who are 80% water). Well, I guess surviving as ocean creatures is out of the question. But we are treated to a nice shot of Robert Patrick standing in the middle of a field with the sprinklers on.

Anyway, this seems to be an incredibly disturbed high school. Near the begining, kids are being beaten outside the school in broad daylight, and no teacher notices. A car crashes into another, and no teacher notices. Someone traffics drugs outside the school, and no teacher notices. And... and... and....

For a school newspaper scoop, the geek and the cheerleader decide to rummage through the faculty lounge and find some juicy stories about the teachers. I don't know about this high school, but where I come from, teachers usually have to approve the stories themselves! I doubt they would like stories that make fun of them.

In the above mentioned scene, the two kids hear a teacher coming in, so they run into the closet. Wow, these must be the teachers from hell. If I were caught in the faculty lounge at my school, what would my teachers say? Probably "Would you please leave?" Nothing to run into the broom closet about.

When the geek finds out about the aliens, his dad doesn't take too nicely to the idea of his son conjuring up these wild thoughts. He storms through his room smashing items and looking for drugs. Gee, what an understanding father. His reaction just doesn't make sense.

I'll fast forward a bit, because I don't wish to be typing all day. The geek tries to convince another student that the teachers are actually aliens by saying, "What if all those sci-fi stories we have been fed over the years are actually true and are ways of preparing us for what is to come? What if George Lucas and Steven Spierg are aliens and their movies reflect that?" The girl he's talking to swallows the theory whole. She must have fallen off the gullibility tree and hit every branch on the way down. And besides, what Lucas or Spielberg movie is anything like this (or as bad)?

I could go on for days, but here's one more stupidity. The druggie and an alien are fighting inside a car. The car is in motion. They battle it out while swerving around a parking lot. The jock decides to ram his car into a bus. As he speeds forward to it, we are treated to close-ups of him struggling to put on his safety belt (of course managing to do so the second before impact). At impact, the front of his car EXPLODES. Yet somehow his safety belt protected him from the flames! Remember, seatbelts save lives.

I had a lot of fun laughing at this movie, and I'm sure you will too.

Rating: 5 turkeys.

Response From RinkWorks:

Heh. And to think, when this movie came out, I was thinking it might actually be good. Good thing I didn't waste my money on it in the theater.