I first saw this bad Mariel Hemingway film when it aired on an obscure cable station in rural Pennsylvania at 2:05am. I have come to discover that not only can't you buy the movie, but it also makes a scant TWO appearances on television every year (in PA, anyway). It was billed as a "Million Dollar Movie" (probably giving it a few more grand than it's actually worth) and tells the story of a young girl pregnant by her no-good boyfriend, Chuck. After getting kicked out of her house by her parents -- artfully played by two actors who, no doubt, never worked again -- Mariel goes to some low income housing and, like any thirteen-year-old would, starts to make friends. Some notable lines include one Mariel uttered after coming back from an unsuccessful job search to find her two delinquent babysitters high as kites and the baby sleeping suspiciously soundly: "You gave my baby VODKA?" she screams after spying the empty bottle near the crib. Ah, those pesky kids, always getting into trouble.

It's only shown on television and, therefore, worth the price of admission and, most definitely, worth seeing. Worth seeing again and again even. In fact, it just occurred to me that I can't even remember if she got to "keep her baby" or not. Now that's suspense.