There are all kinds of ways to bring someone back to life in a slasher series. The usual way is to ignore what killed him in the first place. Pretending what killed him wasn't quite as severe as it seemed to be works too. In "Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives," Tommy Jarvis acts out the dream he had at the beginning of Part V. He goes to dig Jason up out of the cemetary and kill him some *more*. "Jason belongs in hell," he explains, "and I'm gonna see that he gets there." Apparently DYING is not sufficient for the soul to pass on to whatever awaits you in the next life. Instead of just being "dead" you have to be "good and dead."

Tommy digs Jason up, opens the coffin, and sees a decaying, worm-ridden body. Dutifully, he stabs the body a bunch of times in the gut, then goes about setting him on fire. Unfortunately lightning strikes the grave just at that moment, and Jason awakes, ready to kill again. Of all the ways to bring back someone from the dead, this is the lamest. This scene can be either very funny or very painful, depending on your frame of mind and how those you watch the movie with react. It struck me as tiresome; thinking back, I'm not sure why I wasn't cracking up.

And so Jason, suffering no ill effects from malnutrition, suffocation, decomposition, or rigormortis, climbs out of the grave, dons the hockey mask Tommy thoughtfully brought with him, and resumes his killing spree.

More characters are introduced for the sole purpose of being killed in suspenseless ways. The silliest example is the couple driving through the woods at night. They encounter Jason, standing in the road, blocking their way. Scared, they attempt to drive back down the road in reverse. But this doesn't work, apparently because forty feet behind them is an impassable gully. I guess it was one of those magic roads that disappear behind you as you drive down it.

Another example is the crew of military people training in the woods, who provide lame attempts at slapstick comedy. Yeesh. One of them has the honor of having the dumbest death scene in the series to date. Jason grabs him by the arm and flings him into a tree. The guy's head slams into it, splattering blood on what happened to be a big old smiley face carved in the trunk. Looking back to Jason, we see that he had actually ripped the guy's arm off with that little fling, which would be disgusting if it weren't so stupid. And if the scene as a whole weren't so befuddlingly random, it would be...uh...less befuddlingly random.

A third example of pointlessly introduced characters are a couple in a mobile home. He's driving. She's in the bathroom wrestling with Jason. Jason takes her head and crams it against the wall. From the outside of the vehicle, we see the metal bent outward in the shape of a human face. She must have some seriously tough skin if her nose and lips are solid enough to bend metal.

Meanwhile, the police are having an unnecessarily aggressive reaction to Tommy's warnings of Jason's return. One aims a rifle with a laser sight on Tommy (from point blank range -- good thing he's got that red dot to help him aim!) and says, threateningly, "Wherever the red dot goes, ya bang!" It's the movie's funniest moment.

Finally the police discover some of the killings. The chief heads off into the woods to meet with the other officers, already on the scene. One shows the sheriff a pair of broken and bloodied eyeglasses. "Is that all you found?" the sheriff asks. "I wish it was," the officer replies, then motions to the ground TWO FEET IN FRONT OF THEM to the wide assortment of disembodied limbs lying on the forest floor. Camera View Syndrome -- where the characters can't see anything unless the camera can, too -- is a common fault of bad movies, and one that never fails to be amusing.

Meanwhile, the sheriff's daughter breaks Tommy out of jail. That's right, Tommy was jailed, for looking funny or something, and, on a whim, the sheriff's daughter held another officer at gunpoint (the one with the red dot that goes bang) to break a stranger out of jail. Why don't I believe this?

Back on the front lines, Jason is nearing Camp Crystal Lake again, which this time has not just counselors but children, too. The children are instructed to crawl under their beds and stay there. They run over to their beds, and the camera shows two shots of the kids FLYING through the air in their rush to get under their beds. I didn't think the quickest way to crawl under a bed involved being airborne, but I guess I was wrong.

Outside, the sheriff catches up with Jason. He shoots him, and Jason goes down. The sheriff sneaks up on him. Then Jason bolts upright and extends his arm forward -- and FREEZES, holding the position until the sheriff can shoot him again. Repeat until the sheriff runs out of ammo.

Determined to dispose of Jason once and for all, he puts a really big rock in a boat, ties a chain around it, and ties a loop in the other end so he can slip it over Jason's head. Problem? If Tommy can slip it over Jason's head, can't Jason slip it back off? No matter.

Tommy rows out into the lake and gets Jason's attention. Jason walks out to him, vanishing under the surface when the water gets too deep. Tommy worries when Jason doesn't show, so he pours gasoline in the water around the boat and lights it. I'm not sure how he thought that would help, but apparently the script did.

Jason surfaces suddenly and attacks a couple times, and both go down. Tommy gets the chain on Jason, but Jason holds him underwater until he loses consciousness. The sheriff's daughter swims out to rescue him, but -- I bet you couldn't see this coming -- Jason grabs her leg. Then she does something so matter-of-factly and without thought that it is completely unconvincing and painfully obvious she was directed to do so by the script. She reaches over to the motorboat and starts it up. The propeller hits Jason in the head, and that's the end of him (again). I was a little surprised she wasn't the least bit concerned about the propeller chopping *her* up -- after all, Jason's head and her leg aren't too far away from each other. And the way it's shot, that propeller shouldn't have been anywhere *near* Jason. If he's got her, and she's trying to reach *over* to the boat, shouldn't Jason and the boat be on opposite sides of her?

Some mildly amusing or just stupid moments I haven't mentioned above:

- Jason isn't buried six feet under. More like three or four.

- During the credits sequence, Jason mimics the James Bond gunbarrel opening by walking into a circular view from the right, turning suddenly, and flinging a machete at the camera. At least the producers aren't taking this series seriously any more.

- In the underwater shots of Jason, held underwater by the chain around his neck, he's perfectly upright. Wouldn't the buoyancy of his body cause the rest of him to float up or drift somewhere?

The final shot is of Jason, still underwater, and still alive. Why not?

Rating: 2.5 turkeys. Some funny moments, but too much of it is painful.

Response From RinkWorks:

See, I remember this movie being insanely funny, specifically because of all the stuff you mention in your review. I think you just have a lower tolerance for slasher movies than I do. -- Dave.