Archives: Lemonade Game
9/14/04
There's a long-running joke that gremlinn is a computer program written by me.
This was one of many chat sessions to play off that idea.
Sam: Ok, I'm archiving InsultBot NOW.
ahmoacah: Yay!
Sam: You people all pester me. Drives me to the edge of...archiving...it.
ahmoacah: I didn't pester!
Sam: Right, but you retroactively implied it by Yay!ing. And Travholt was actively pestering me by not knowing what it was.
ahmoacah: Oh. Retroactive pestering, ok.
Sam: Fixed.
gremlinn: I'm blameless. But I made the archiving take longer by saying stuff in it.
Sam: You're only blameless because anything you do is my fault.
gremlinn: Sweet!
* gremlinn goes off on a crime spree.
Sam: Wait! No!
Sam: Oh no!!
Sam: gremlinn has become self-aware!
Sam: He'll take over the world now!
ahmoacah: How long did it take to seed gremlinn's database?
Sam: ahmo: Couple of decades or so. It's been a while.
* gremlinn returns with loot.
ahmoacah: Impressive. Did you code him on your Apple IIe then?
Sam: He started as an Applesoft Basic program for my Apple IIe. It was so slow and primitive, he only spoke monochrome.
Sam: Nice question.
ahmoacah: LOL
gremlinn: Stop stealing Sam's brain.
ahmoacah: Wait a minnite. Sam wrote gremlinn. gremlinn downloaded my brain. I don't see how it follows that I could be stealing Sam's brain.
Sam: As it turns out, I can regress his memory database back to those early days on command. I left a hook in for me to put him into nostalgia mode. I shall enable it for you now. Here, then, is gremlinn, as he was circa 1986:
Sam: gremlinn: REGRESS 1986
Sam: See, it takes a while.
Sam: He'll be saying something any minute now.
Sam: Probably in 300 baud, but still.
gremlinn: SYNTAX ERROR
Sam: Yeah, that's about what I remember.
ahmoacah: LOL
Sam: gremlinn: RUN LEMONADE GAME
gremlinn: HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME LEMONADE GOOD SIR
Sam: Y
gremlinn: INPUT NUMBER OF LEMONADES:
gremlinn: >
Sam: 3
gremlinn: YOU BOUGHT 3 LEMONADES
Sam: Cool.
gremlinn: HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME LEMONADE GOOD SIR
Sam: Heck yeah.
gremlinn: HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME LEMONADE GOOD SIR
wintermute: Yes.
Sam: Y
gremlinn: INPUT NUMBER OF LEMONADES:
gremlinn: >
Sam: wim: Go for it.
wintermute: -2.
gremlinn: SYNTAX ERROR
wintermute: Darn.
Sam: 7
ahmoacah: grem must have to go off and squeeze the lemons when you order. It's taking a while.
Sam: It's an 85C02.
Sam: Perfectly natural.
Sam: ...
Sam: Ok, maybe not.
ahmoacah: Maybe wintermute crashed gremlinn.
Sam: CTRL-RESET
gremlinn: YOU BOUGHT 28`a3;)) LEMONADES
Sam: !!!
Sam: Great, wintermute. You corrupted his database.
wintermute: Sorry.
Sam: Now I'll have to regress him further and rebuild him from there.
wintermute: How was I to know you weren't doing error trapping?
Sam: wim: It was 1986!
Sam: gremlinn: REGRESS 1978
gremlinn: GREETINGS PROFESSOR FALKEN
Sam: gremlinn: ACCESS MAIN PROGRAM GRID
Sam: There's this great world war game that he can play. If it responds.
wintermute: Sam: Is it called "Thermonuclear War"?
wintermute: If so, I think a nice game of chess would be better.
gremlinn: 0 PRINT "LEMONAID A GAME BY SAMUEL STODARD"
gremlinn: 10 PRINT "WELLCOME TO LEMONADE!!!'
Sam: OH NO, DON'T PRINT OUT YOUR SOURCE CODE!
Sam: THEY WILL STEAL IT!
Sam: CTRL-C
Sam: CTRL-RESET
Sam: BREAK
Sam: PAUSE
gremlinn: >
Sam: Whew.
Sam: gremlinn: HYPERDEVELOP 2004
gremlinn: Okay, enough of that.
Sam: There.
Sam: grem: Testing, testing. Ok, make a palindrome.
gremlinn: Lonely Tylenol.
Sam: Yup, he's back.
gremlinn: Are we not pure? "No sir!" Panama's moody Noriega brags. "It is garbage!" Irony dooms a man; a prisoner up to new era.
Sam: Wow.
wintermute: Wow.
Sam: I think hyperdeveloping from 1978 to 2004 produced an improved model.
Later that day....
gremlinn: HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME LEMONADE GOOD SIR
Sam: Y
gremlinn: SORRY WE RAN OUT BYE
Sam: HEY!!!
Sam: YOU TRICKED ME!!
Sam: YOU'RE NOT 1986 GREMLINN AT ALL, ARE YOU?
gremlinn: Introducing "LEMONAID 2", the latest hit by Samuel Stodard.
A bit before that "LEMONAID 2" epilogue happened, I actually fired up my
Apple II emulator and wrote the game. You can run it by downloading either
lemonade.dsk.gz or
lemonade.zip and booting that up in an
Apple II
emulator.
Back to the RinkChat Archives.