Archives: Sam Goo
It's not every chat room that can have a party game, a bodily reconstitution,
and nasty health tips inside of an hour.
BuzzBot: TimTheEnchanter has been given a buzzword.
TimTheEnchanter: walk into a lobby, see the ____
BuzzBot: Sosiqui guesses 'receptionist' and is correct! Sosiqui and TimTheEnchanter each get a point.
Sosiqui: Sam: See the FISH?
Brunnen_G: Fish? LOL
Sam: THEY HAVE FISH TANKS IN LOBBIES!
Sam: SHUT UP.
BuzzBot: teach has been given a buzzword.
teach: Kids sell it on hot days for 10 cents a glass.
Siemova: their souls
BuzzBot: Sosiqui guesses 'lemonade' and is correct! Sosiqui and teach each get a point.
BuzzBot: Sosiqui wins!
Cynthia: LOL, Siemova!
teach: For ten cents?
TimTheEnchanter: mine's worth at least a buck
Brunnen_G: I didn't know you could pour your soul into a glass.
* Cynthia asked WAY more for her soul than ten cents.
ahmoacah: "asked"? What did you get for your soul?
Cynthia: Can't reveal the details of the contract.
teach: Immortality? Fame?
Brunnen_G: A bag of jellybeans?
* teach would settle for a small army of elves to do the marking and cleaning.
Brunnen_G: I heard Stephen was dealing in souls, once.
Beasty: That's just a sideline, BG. The main business is World Domination.
ahmoacah: Ew, I'm not letting him near my soul.
Sosiqui: I got Darien's soul from Matthew's Item Generator.
Beasty: How much was it?
Sosiqui: It was free. I just hit the 'random item' button and there it was.
Mina: Hey! You can't have Darien's soul! It's mine!!
Beasty: How much could you get on eBay for your soul?
Brunnen_G: Depends if you've ever used it, I suppose.
Sosiqui: I actually saw someone selling their soul on eBay once.
ahmoacah: I think eBay will take that kind of auction off.
Cynthia: Someone tried, and they did.
ahmoacah: I'm sure more than one person has tried.
Sosiqui: How can you determine the worth of a soul?
Brunnen_G: How can you even tell whether you have one or not?
Sam: Why do people ruin M&M's with peanuts?
Sosiqui: That's the soul of the M&M, of course.
ahmoacah: That's why I wouldn't eat them.
Cynthia: What's wrong with peanut M&Ms?
Maryam: Peanut M&Ms are good!
Sam: PEANUTS DO NOT BELONG IN CANDY.
Brunnen_G: It's not as bad as when they ruin them with the horrible "crispy" stuff.
Cynthia: YICK. Exactly.
Sam: CRISPY M&M'S RULE. FRY IN HELL I SAY! FRY! FRY!
ahmoacah: YES! CRISPY ARE THE BEST!
Brunnen_G: Peanuts add weight and heft to the M&M so you can throw it at people across a room with greater distance and accuracy.
Sam: Oh. I honestly didn't think anyone would be able to come up with a good reason, but that is.
Beasty: Why have peanuts in the reader poll then?
Sam: To find out how many lost souls there are out there, of course.
* Sam considers anyone who answered that poll with something other than "none" to be lost.
* Sam finds the lost souls and sells them on eBay.
Sosiqui: You scorn chocolate-covered macademia nuts? Sinner.
* Beasty voted other, in favour of hazelnut.
* Nyperold voted "peanut".
* Cynthia likes almond Hershey bars.
* The_Walrus likes peanuts
Beasty: Cadbury's Whole Nut RULES!
teach: Almonds are the only acceptable partner for chocolate.
Sam: LISTEN UP EVARYBODY. NUTS BELONG TO THE "SALTY SNACKS" FOOD GROUP. CHOCOLATE BELONGS TO THE "SWEET SNACKS" FOOD GROUP. WE DO NOT MIX SALTY THINGS WITH SWEET THINGS. EVAR.
Sosiqui: Dude, that's the FUNDEMENTAL CONCEPT of kettle corn.
Sam: Kettle corn is an exception.
Sosiqui: Kettle corn is the DEFINITION.
Maryam: Sam, you are craziness.
* teach has seen Sam use salty language. And he's sweet.
Brunnen_G: Blood is salty and cerebrospinal fluid is sweet. You're infringing your own rules.
teach: How do you know that?
Brunnen_G: teach: Common knowledge ... er... really.
* teach has sudden visions of a vampiric B_G!
Brunnen_G: Look, if somebody has a head injury and there's some clear fluid coming out their nose or ears, if it's sweet, it's brain fluid. Ideally, of course, you should get somebody *else* to taste it and find out.
The_Walrus: That's pleasant.
teach: The yuck factor of that is way off the scale.
Beasty: So if it is sweet, you're gonna die due to leaking brains?
Brunnen_G: No, you're probably going to die from the knowledge that you just tasted somebody else's brain fluid. Who knows what happens to the victim.
* Sam just realizes he has blood and cerebrospinal fluid in his body at the same time. Sam convulses violently on the floor, his eyes popping out of his head. He bites his tongue from the spasms, bleeds everywhere, and his muscles contract with such ferocity that some snap and others stop his heart from beating. Sam dies.
* teach steps over Sam and steals the M&M's.
* Sosiqui is now covered in Sam-goo. Do you have ANY IDEA how hard this is to REMOVE?!?
teach: Want some M&M's?
* Sam Goo does not want to be removed. Sam Goo has an inferiority complex, because his own FRIENDS don't want him all over them.
* Sosiqui does NOT want Sam Goo all over her. She prefers Sam IN ONE PIECE.
* teach does as well.
* Sam Goo cries.
RinkChat: The chat room topic has been changed to 'Sam Goo is all over YOU!' by Marvin.
* Cynthia can put up with Sam Goo.
* Sam Goo HUGS Cynthia!
* Cynthia gives Sam Goo a tissue.
* Sam Goo blows himself.
* Sosiqui vacuums up the Sam Goo.
* Sam Goo says, "So THIS is what it looks like in here!"
* teach gives Sosi a Sam mold to re-shape him from goo.
teach: Oops - too late.
* Sosiqui asks Sam, "Look for the quarter I vacuumed up by accident while you're in there!"
* Cynthia extracts Sam Goo from the vacuum.
ahmoacah: Do we have to pick the lint out of Sam Goo first?
Beasty: Adds consistency.
teach: He'll just be fluffier and cuddlier than usual.
* Cynthia wonders about the embedded hamster.
* Sam Goo reconstitutes.
* Sam says to Sosiqui, while surreptitiously pocketing a small object, "Couldn't find the quarter. Sorry."
* Sosiqui SAW that.
* Sam dries and poofs out in all directions.
* ahmoacah imagines a poofy Sam.
ahmoacah: It's quite a sight!
RinkChat: The chat room topic has been changed to 'Sam is fluffy.' by teach.
* Sosiqui takes out a static-attractor thing. Zwoop!
* Sosiqui suggests Sam rub fabric softener on himself
Brunnen_G: You people are strange.
Cynthia: You're the one running around tasting brain fluid.
[Brunnen_G->Sam] This is funny. :-)
Brunnen_G: I don't taste brain fluid. I just happen to know about it.
[Sam->Brunnen_G] Your brain fluid stuff was hilarious, by the way.
[Brunnen_G->Sam] It's all true. Really.
[Sam->Brunnen_G] I believe it.
[Sam->Brunnen_G] You're the one that told me how to grind my Adam's apple. I believe this, too.
[Brunnen_G->Sam] LOL!! I'd forgetten about that.
Brunnen_G: Anyway, I've had it independently verified by somebody I know, who had a head injury and tasted the stuff leaking out his nose.
teach: Posts by B_G = YUCKY!!
* Sosiqui wonders if she should have tasted the Sam Goo when she had a chance... then shudders. EWwwwww.
Sam: If this conversation turns to brain licking, I will die.
* Cynthia dies.
Cynthia: LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Beasty: BG: Who, exactly?
Brunnen_G: Er, just somebody I used to know slightly.
Brunnen_G: At least you weren't here the time I was telling people how to do the thing with their Adam's apple.
teach: At the risk of a YUCKY post - what thing?
Maryam: You've got me curious now.
* Beasty is intrigued.
* Sosiqui is curious in a morbid way
Brunnen_G: Should I repeat it, Sam? :-)
Brunnen_G: It's a way to tell whether or not a person has a broken neck.
* teach can't believe she stopped in here for a little pleasant conversation.
Brunnen_G: You can test it on yourself, but I'm warning you, the only thing more gross than hearing about it is doing it.
Kaz: I think that I could tell if I had a broken neck...
Brunnen_G: Yes, of course, but it's how you can tell if somebody *else* does.
Brunnen_G: Anyway, what you do is, find your Adam's apple, and hold onto it between your thumb and fingers. Press it slightly in and wiggle it from side to side. Can you feel it sort of click/grate as it goes from side to side?
* Brunnen_G waits until everybody has done that, before describing what it actually is that you're feeling there.
* Beasty does that and is grossed out!
* Sosiqui tries and succeeds only in tickling herself.
* Mina doesn't think she has an Adam's apple.
Sosiqui: I think I'm too ticklish to try this.
* Kaz only succeeds in tickling himself, too....
* teach can't find hers - do chixors have them?
samhael: Chicks do, but they're not as obvious.
* Beasty needs to know if his neck is broken!
* Maryam doesn't know either, but this buildup has GOT to be for something gross.
Brunnen_G: OK, well, the clicking and grating is your Adam's apple grunching over the bones that stick out of your vertebrae in the back of your neck.
teach: grinding + crunching = grunching
Brunnen_G: If your neck was broken, it would be all swollen up and soft and fluidy in there, and it would SLIDE SMOOTHLY instead of clicking and grating.
* Cynthia experiences a sudden desire to claw her way out of her own skin.
* Sosiqui ... uh... Cynthia beat.
* Beasty is glad to know his neck is NOT broken.
* Sosiqui wonders how you detect if your Adam's apple is impaled on your vertebrae
* Brunnen_G has lots more helpful and interesting information like that.
Brunnen_G: But right now I need to go to work.
Maryam: I think we've had enough BG grossness for today.
Brunnen_G: Bye all. Don't drink any cerebrospinal fluid you shouldn't be drinking.
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