Archives: New Zealand Ruse
3/7/01
Leen, Dave, and I took a trip to New Zealand to visit Brunnen-G. This is what
happened as we were heading out.
Ellmyruh: Dave is in the air.
Ellmyruh: And Sam and Leen should be in Boston right now.
Faux_Pas: They didn't actually go, did they?
Faux_Pas: The whole thing was a joke!
Ellmyruh: 
Faux_Pas: Oh, boy, I feel really rotten.
Ellmyruh: Rotten?
Faux_Pas: You see, I'm really Brunnen-G. I made up the whole thing.
Faux_Pas: New Zealand, all that.
Ellmyruh: *gasp*
* Mia gasps.
Mia: YOU made up New Zealand?
Faux_Pas: I would have thought that they would have noticed when I spelled "New Zealand" incorrectly.
Faux_Pas: Oh gosh. They really aren't heading to a mythical country, are they?
Faux_Pas: Oh geez.
* Faux_Pas is in trouble.
Faux_Pas: There is no all-night book fair. There are no Irish harp ballads. There is no Puck.
Faux_Pas: It was all me.
Mia: Yous in BIG trubbles!
Faux_Pas: I don't even have a cat.
Mia: You probably made up Sam and Leen too....
Faux_Pas: No, they're real. But I did make up Liface.
Mia: You....made up...Liface?
Faux_Pas: And folex.
Faux_Pas: And the various Duppy characters.
* Faux_Pas feels so ashamed.
Faux_Pas: But I feel relief. It's as a big weight has been lifted off my chest.
Faux_Pas: You see, I always wanted to be in the coast guard, then I thought "Hey, why not be in the coast guard for a country that doesn't even exist?"
Faux_Pas: When you're online, you can make so many different personas. I just never thought it would go this far.
Ellmyruh: So do we really know your gender?
Mia: Or did you make that up, too?
Faux_Pas: Yes. I'm really a balding thirty-eight year-old man who lives in his parents' basement. I'm a dental assistant in Ames, Iowa.
Faux_Pas: All those conversations about birding I've had with Leen? I just kept making up names of birds.
Faux_Pas: Who would have thought Leen would have believed that a "yellow-spotted trillfincher" is a real bird's name?
Faux_Pas: And "deer farms." I can't believe anyone thought those really exist.
Mia: You are a bad bad 32 year old male dentist's assistant!
Faux_Pas: I know, I know. Bad me. I feel so horrible. Sam and Leen and Dave will be getting to someplace in Australia, ready to change planes and find out that there's no such place as New Zealand. They'll hunt me down!
Faux_Pas: After they get back.
* BurgerKing 's brain makes a popping sound.
Faux_Pas: I can't imagine that sitting in an airport in Perth for twenty days will put them in the mood to forgive me.
Faux_Pas: Anyway, if it had to come out, I'm glad it came out when they were out of the country.
Faux_Pas: That'll give me a chance to find a good hiding place.
Faux_Pas: So, what's new with you?
Mia: Not much. I have a date!
Faux_Pas: Didn't you already have a date? How many do you need?
Monkeyman: I can vouch for the existence of deer farms. I have seen them.
Monkeyman: However, I am a twenty-seven year old woman from Indonesia.
Mia: We know. Sam told us already.
Faux_Pas: It just goes to show that you can't trust anybody online. Oh, Mia, I'm also one of your sisters or brothers, depending on my real gender.
Mia: You are?
Faux_Pas: Yep.
Mia: Oh. Which one?
Faux_Pas: I thought it was funny reading your comments to RinkChat about me moving back home into my old room.
Mia: Jeremy? But Jeremy....is....erm....not on the computer....I am.....
Faux_Pas: Oh, then I'm one of your sisters. Thanks a lot for moving into my room.
Mia: And you mean my old room.
Faux_Pas: That's why I typed "my old room."
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