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Archives: I Am Coming From Iceland


It shouldn't need to be said, but let it be said anyway: the following is entirely a work of humor, and no offense is intended to persons of any gender or origin. Sometimes ridiculing discrimination is the best way to go. At any rate, hlf926 created a public room and started chatting away with himself, and here is what befell him.

hlf926 has entered.
hlf926: im bored
hlf926: I have nothing to do but sit around, use TGF, and talk to myself
hlf926: I like pants, and pants like me
hlf926: you know, pants are the major foundation for most movies
hlf926: even in The Matrix. Neo had cool pants
hlf926: you know if you butter toast and then shake cinnamon sugar onto it, it tastes really good?
hlf926: I think that butter and honey on toast is good too
hlf926: Mountain Dew and Donuts: the breakfast of champions
hlf926: I got cold garlic bread, chips, and sour cream
hlf926: mmm, doesnt that sound like a good dinner?
hlf926: I like ketchup
hlf926: tomatos are good, raw, cooked, crushed, anything
hlf926: we get a lot of calls from "Mr Dialtone
hlf926: my mom bought a box of croutons
hlf926: croutons own
hlf926: I ate the whole thing in two hours
Ellmyruh has entered.
Ellmyruh: Why are you in here, talking to yourself?
hlf926: cuz
hlf926: felt like it
hlf926: try talking to yourself on Napster
hlf926: doesnt feel right
Ellmyruh: Are you new to RinkChat?
hlf926: yes
Ellmyruh: Well, welcome!
hlf926: im sitting around waiting for someone to come and give me something to talk about
Ellmyruh: How did you happen to find RinkWorks?
hlf926: I found it when looking for bad jokes
hlf926: I seem to have found an entire cache of them
hlf926: I read a couple of RinkChat archives. Are those real? My brother doesn't think so
Ellmyruh: Yes, they're actually real.
hlf926: thought so
hlf926: only time that Ive actually seen hard evidence that people can think up funny stuff by themselves
hlf926: I am a programming geek, I can program in QuickBasic, Visual BASIC, C++, HTML, and Java
hlf926: have no life
Stephen has entered.
Stephen: Hey hey hey!
hlf926: Hi stephen
Stephen: I am typing at you from "Oceanside" california.
Stephen: However I am coming from my entire life in Iceland.
Stephen: has any here been to the other lands?
Stephen: You know, outside from the USofaA
hlf926: United States Of An America?
Stephen: No, United States of America.
hlf926: I know
hlf926: I was joking. You typoed and put a small a next to the large A
Stephen: hlf926: "typoed"???
hlf926: yes, typo: typing mistake - typoed: made a typo.
Stephen: Cool! I have many watches!
hlf926: ?
hlf926: Watches? such as, wrist-watches?
Stephen: No, I mean I have to watch things a lot.
Stephen: Like wake up and take watch.
Stephen: For robbers.
hlf926: ahhhh
Stephen: I live in a place that has many bad people.
hlf926: well, to quote gremlinn, "Pantastic"
hlf926: pants
Stephen: You know what I mean?
Stephen: I have expensive items, many in my house. Can't be too careful.
hlf926: yeah, I guess
hlf926: like the industrial section of Sacramento
hlf926: I hate the industrial section of Sacramento
hlf926: bad, bad, bad part of town
hlf926: wouldnt get out of a car in that place for anything less than a million dollar bill
Stephen: Sacramento, I have been there. Only three robbers that I met while staying there.
Stephen: Fortunately, I am... what is word?
Stephen: You know, for having protection?
hlf926: err
hlf926: safe?
Stephen: No, "armed"
Stephen: I do not like to "mess" around with the robbers.
hlf926: thats good
hlf926: why do I have a cryptic name? I do not know
Stephen: It is like proverb "those who get over pushed, fall. those who push back, get much stuff."
Ellmyruh: That's what the "ghetto copter" is for. It circles around until the police catch the bad guys.
Stephen: That is an excellent contraption.!!
hlf926: yes, but does the copter do anything?
Ellmyruh: It has a huge spotlight on it. You've never seen one, hlf?
hlf926: ive seen one
hlf926: but, does that spotlight actually help? from what I have seen, they wave it around wildly until the bad guy is caught
hlf926: is its entire purpose to give the bad guys epileptic seizures?
Stephen: I think it is probably the light makes it easier for the robbers to be "shot"
Stephen: For the police it is hard at night, I know!!!!! My brother in Iceland is police-person and he must chase robbers.
hlf926: police person??
Stephen: Yes, he is wearing the uniform and chases the robbers or killers.
hlf926: I do not like political correctness
hlf926: it goes too far
Stephen: I have heard of this political correctness that means not calling the man from Norway "stupid nordish twerd" correct? But they are I do not like that either.
hlf926: err, thats not what i mean
hlf926: I see no reason not to call a policeman a policeman
Stephen: Oh what do you mean?
hlf926: thats what they are. A man that is part of a police force
hlf926: what guilt or shame is attached to including "man" in a word? Politically Correct people enforce the non-usage of man or woman in the English language
Stephen: Oh so then what do the "politial correctness" call police-man?
Stephen: non-usage of man or woman?
Stephen: Is that not hard to do?
hlf926: they want "man" and "woman" to be replaced by "person"
Stephen: I am not aware of such a way to remove terms from English. In Icelandic word is "jylikan" it works as both, I am not knowing of English word.
Stephen: Oh I see what you mean. Like police-man and not police-"person" then?
Stephen: I am not understanding English "language" it is very complex and I wish peple would learn a good language so we would not be using this one!!! no offense being meant of course!!!!!!!!1
hlf926: yes, the english language is messed up
Ellmyruh: How about Swahili?
Stephen: No how about Icelandic I know that most well! I am kidding of course.
Ellmyruh: No, not Icelandic.
Stephen: English is most messed up for instance the political correctness you mentioned! hlf is quite correct!
hlf926: Political Correctness was born of an American urge to CONTROL EVERYBODY.
hlf926: I do not feel this urge
Stephen: Yes I hate the Americans that control everything.
Stephen: Even in Iceland it is "BIG BROTHER" from "UNCLE SAM" trying to control us.
hlf926: but, Americans who do had to find some way to control everybody, so they said, "hey, Im OFFENDED by these 'gender specific words'! I feel like everybody is saying that MEN are better than WOMEN! We should use words that dont specify gender!"
hlf926: and so Political Correctness was born
Stephen: I am agreed most definitely!!!
Stephen: Obviously men are better than women!!! This is obvious for instance who made first lettuce peeler? "Ryiek Noviatr" a man (Iceland is finest inventor)!
Stephen: Woman is not inventing as much except for babies!
hlf926: police person, person-hole cover, "the person in the moon", kids are afraid of the boogeyperson, and we all sing "for hes a Jolly Good Person", thats the kind of thing youd hear on Late Night With David Letterperson!
hlf926: that was all thought up by George Carlin
Stephen: I have seen that David Letterperson show it is quite excellent I like that he has movie stars such as "Sly Stalone" he is top notch American actor! ha ha ha!
hlf926: he may use so many bad words that the people who think up bad words are offended, but GEORGE CARLIN IS FUNNY!
hlf926: he should also be rated X
hlf926: NOT something to let kids listen
Stephen: I have not beeing seen this GOERGE CARLIN person.
Stephen: He is making movie, yes?
hlf926: no
hlf926: stand up comedian
Stephen: Oh I agree kids should not be listening to things like GEORGE CARLIN or anything. Kids should be in school and not on drug!
Stephen: "stand up" that means he does not sit? And he talks about "political correctness"
hlf926: why do movies say some random syllables into a mike and call it a "foreign language"?
hlf926: err, movie makers, not movies
hlf926: its not really English, its Americans
Stephen: Yes the movies are weird that way. Icelandic movies are far better than American ones with your "actors" such as "Jean Van Damme"
Stephen: In Iceland there is less money for the movies so there is less "big fights" but it is better. Favorite movie there is "Who Am I?" is about three people stuck in an ice shack (for catching of fish!) and they must talk to survive. Very heart-ripping I think.
Stephen: In American movies it is "who has gun" to shoot, not good.
Stephen: America has no "actor" just "exploder"
Stephen: One thing I like in America is America television quite good. Favorite show in Iceland is "CHIPS" with two police-mans
Stephen: We have just the "repeat" not new shows.
Stephen: But it is most watched, in it the police-mans fight robbers and people!
Stephen: Very good with very good "acting" not "exploding"
Stephen: You have seen this show, yes?
hlf926: err......
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] is Stephen just pretending to be foreign?
[Ellmyruh->hlf926] Your guess is as good as mine.
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] I think so
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] cause this conflicts with <evil villain style voice> "The Archives"
Stephen: I guess rest of people have died!
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] mmm, maybe
Stephen: Or are asleeping!
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] yes....
Stephen: hello did police-mans get you with bright lights in your "sacramento"? Ha ha, just kidding of course!
hlf926: Stephen, I'm going to take a wild guess here, but the way you are talking conflicts with "the archives". You are just pretending, arent you?
Stephen: "the archives"?
hlf926: yes, the RinkChat Archives
Stephen: Oh yes! i have been reading those!
hlf926: Ellmyrah says they are real, soooooo-
Ellmyruh: Ahem. It's Ellmyruh with a u.
Stephen: No, that is other Stephen.
Stephen: I assume so at least, is not me.
Stephen: It is like book, yes?
Stephen: Written to be story, but funny.
Stephen: I am not understanding that they are "real"
Stephen: How could it be so?
Stephen: Ellmyruh: Are those "the archives" indeed real?
Ellmyruh: Yes, they are.
Stephen: How is real then if there is Safari????
hlf926: err, If I just kind of fell into a hole and was never heard of on Rinkchat again, would anybody mind?
Ellmyruh: Why do you ask?
hlf926: cause, if i read something with "Stephen" in it, somehow that account was deleted, and then was created by another user, and I confused the two, it would be kind of embarrasing
* hlf926 is embarrassed
Stephen: I am quite confused. Multiple people with my name, "real" safaris, and more
hlf926: thats what I read.
Stephen: I am insulted that you would say such thing!
hlf926: read archive The Flame War
Stephen: Okay that is burning fight?
hlf926: I copied that out of a RinkChat archive
hlf926: so obviously... either you are faking, or there has somehow been an account duplication
Stephen: That is not excuse for insulting me and Ellmyruh!!
hlf926: I did not write that
Stephen: Then who did?
hlf926: I copied that out of a RinkChat Archive
hlf926: go read
Stephen: The "chat" said you wrote it on my screen.
hlf926: that is where I got that
Stephen: I am not understanding. If you did not make it up, you still wrote it to us, correct??
hlf926: maybe if one Stephen account had a space or something at the end, and the other one didnt
hlf926: RinkChat might have made a mistake.
hlf926: and now there are two stephens
Stephen: I am being most confused.
hlf926: OR - I still refuse to rule out the possibility that you are simply lying to everybody....
Stephen: Once more you insult me.
hlf926: If you are legit, do not take this as an insult, but otherwise
* hlf926 is doing some investigating
Stephen: I am most unhappy.
hlf926: ok, you seem to be in the vicinity of TIJUANA
hlf926: rather, San Diego
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] where is he claiming to be from? Im quite sure he said so, but I don't remember where he said...
[Ellmyruh->hlf926] Didn't he say Iceland?
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] I think so
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] wheres Iceland reletive to America?
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] cause i have a program open here saying that he is in San Diego
[Ellmyruh->hlf926] Oh? What program?
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] Neotrace
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] completely legal
[Ellmyruh->hlf926] Ah. Yes, I use that.
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] if he is actually from Iceland, then he's travelled a long way
[Ellmyruh->hlf926] No, I think he said that he was originally from Iceland.
[hlf926->Ellmyruh] took a long time to trace. Wonder why
Stephen: Goodbye sir, you have been most rude.
Stephen has left.
hlf926 has left.
Ellmyruh has left.
hlf926 has entered.
hlf926: ack
hlf926 has left.

The next day....

hlf926: last night, I got on here, and there was someone with the nick Stephen, who said he was from Iceland
Sakura: Stephen... from Iceland? o.O;
MarkusRTK: Stephen? Iceland? Uhh...
Kiki: Stephen? yeah, he's from Iceland all the way
Kiki: you didn't know that, you guys?
Sakura: *blink* Can't say I did.
Kiki: Stephen's from Iceland
hlf926: ok
hlf926: so hes FROM Iceland, but lives in San Diego?
* hlf926 is embarrased
Platypi007: man, talk about strange
MarkusRTK: Weird. Stephen. Iceland.
Faux_Pas: Huh. Stephen's from Iceland. That explains a lot.
hlf926: I repeatedly asked myself whether or not the Rinkchat archives were real, as them and the way Stephen was talking conflict.....
hlf926: but
hlf926: am I being cryptic?
Nyperold: Oh, yes, they all happened here.
hlf926: in that case, something is odd.
hlf926: cause last night, Stephen was talking like, err, someone from Iceland
Kiki: well, he doesn't always show it. Just sometimes.
Kiki: Like, I'm from DC, and i CAN talk like i'm from DC, but i DON'T always
hlf926: BUT = in Flame War(I doubt that that one ever happened) he talks the same way everybody else does
Nyperold: No, it happened. It was a fake flame war.
Kiki: why do you doubt it happened?
hlf926: well, for one thing, I seem to remember reading that flame wars were not allowed. Also, what was the reson for this flame war to start?
Faux_Pas: Just to let off steam. Or rather, flames.
hlf926: aaaahhhh
hlf926: ok
Kiki: REAL flame wars aren't allowed
hlf926: I think I get it now
hlf926: ok, so it was a completely fake flame war.

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