Archives: Hasty Exits
6/5/01
Nobody better do any of this stuff for real.
Brunnen_G: I have to go...bye
Brunnen_G has left.
gremlinn: bye
gremlinn: Not fast enough!
Ferrick: She moves with lightning speed.
Shandar: Man, why is it everybody leaves when I get the time to chat?
Shandar: Well, not everybody.
* gremlinn is going to perfect the super-fast exit. I'll type "bye", press enter, then click "Leave" in about 0.1 seconds.
gremlinn: No one will ever be able to reply in time.
Zullin: Bye grem!
LaZorra: bye
gremlinn: Okay. I'm going to test it now. Too early, Zullin!
gremlinn: Here goes, get ready...
LaZorra: Bye!
gremlinn: 3...2..1..2.3.3
gremlinn: bye!
gremlinn has left.
gremlinn has entered.
LaZorra: 
gremlinn: Whoops, it doesn't seem to respond if I click it too fast.
gremlinn: bye!
gremlinn has left.
gremlinn has entered.
gremlinn: I think 0.5 seconds is the best I can manage.
Shandar: How do you possibly time yourself?
gremlinn: I'm just guessing, it could be 0.3-0.7 seconds for all I know.
* gremlinn needs to work on a "goodbye" line.
gremlinn: How about: "I'm leaving in 0.5 seconds. Goodbye, all you people who are too slow to respond!"
Shandar: That works.
gremlinn: Too wordy. How about, "Goodbye, slow responders!"
Shandar: I think Sam should impliment something in the chat script that allows us to customize our exit message.
gremlinn: Oh, how about, "By the time you read this, I will have already left."
Shandar: How about: "Ciao, lead britches."
Ferrick: "And like that (blow on your fingers), he was gone."
Ferrick: "Was I really here, or was it just a dream?"
gremlinn: Oh, how about something cruel, like, "Does anyone have anything to ask me before I leave? Okay, fine, I'll go."
Shandar: Or better yet, "I have something really important to tell you, but you can't tell Sam, o"
gremlinn: Yeah, that's good too. Maybe I'll use a new one each time.
gremlinn: Oooh, how about the "fake scare" tactic:
gremlinn: Oh no...
gremlinn has left.
gremlinn has entered.
gremlinn: To top that off, you don't return until the next day, at least.
Ferrick: If only I had'alkfdaofa
Ferrick has left.
Ferrick has entered.
gremlinn: Heh, some guy just walked into my house and asked to use the phoadsf
gremlinn has left.
gremlinn has entered.
SomeGuy: I did no such thing!
Shandar: hahahaha!!!!!
gremlinn: hehehe, I didn't mean you.
Ferrick: What was that noise? Lemme go;dlasfjferp;gi'ajg;vbf
Ferrick has left.
Ferrick has entered.
gremlinn: No, you wouldn't type Lemme go.
gremlinn: We're going for realism here, Ferrick.
Ferrick: I meant, "Lemme go check and see."
gremlinn: Ahh, okay.
Shandar: Didn't I meet you at the post office? The phone's right in tha;i;ha;ggaw;erd
* Ferrick wonders why the hairs on the back of his neck ar'adlgjkpa;igaodfja;dfjj da;fkj
Zullin: That's weird. My dog keeps growling at something outside. Hmm.
Zullin has left.
Ferrick: My seizures have been acting up la'dafjkad;orijh;oaiiejh;lkadga
gremlinn: How about: "Whoa! There was the huge flash of lightni"
Ferrick: I wonder why the cops are driving around the neighborhood.
Shandar: That's funny, it's awfully late for the meter man to be here.
Ferrick: Oh, man, I just spilled water on the floor and my heat lamp.
gremlinn: Then you could do the build-up suspense tactic, by typing several lines about some suspicious person walking around in your apartment.
Ferrick: That would freak people out.
gremlinn: Yeah. Then instead of leaving, you just close the browser and wait for it to time out.
Ferrick: Build up the suspense.
gremlinn: These things would work so much better in a voice chat.
gremlinn: Spoken: "Oh my god, there's someone in my house! What should I...AHHHHH! GO AWAY!"
Ferrick: You could have a gurgling sound after that.
gremlinn: ...(click)"
Zullin has entered.
gremlinn: What was your dog growling at?
gremlinn: Oh no. That's not Zullin...
gremlinn: It's some foul impostor who killed him and logged back in.
Ferrick: Noooooooo!
Zullin: Woo, that was a tough fight.
gremlinn: You'll pay for this!
gremlinn: Oh, but could you give me Zullin's credit card number before you loot his place?
Ferrick: That's the way we prefer payment.
Zullin: Sure, it's 5199-8403-1189-4314. Mastercard, expires 6/01.
gremlinn: Thanks for understanding. It's only fair, you know.
Shandar: Hey, his card just expired! I'm afraid we're going to have to ask for some other form of payment.
gremlinn: No, it will last the rest of the month.
gremlinn: Let's go shopping!
Shandar: Hmm...well, my machine is reading "denied." Maybe he's over the limit.
Ferrick: Lucky for him.
Zullin: I don't think he cares anymore.
gremlinn: Hey, that's a good technique. Put a fake credit card in your wallet on top of your real ones. Any thief will try that one first, and you'll have more time before he can charge anything to your real accounts.
Shandar: Or just don't carry real credit cards in your wallet. Report them all stolen and keep the actives ones in a different place. Your checkbook, maybe.
Zullin: I lost my wallet in my bookbag once and reported all my credit cards missing before I found it.
Zullin: That's what turned me into the murderer I am now. Ooh, an antique gumball machine!
Shandar: Well, I must go now.
Shandar: Bye for now.
Shandar has left.
* gremlinn is disappointed. Shandar didn't use the quick-leave technique.
Zullin: Well, I've got to leave for real now. I guess I'll use the quick-leave method. I think I'll wait a few seconds before I click leave, though, just so you'll have a fighting chance. Too bad you'll miss it.
Zullin has left.
Zullin has entered.
Zullin: Yes!
Zullin has left.
gremlinn: Gah...I was in another window.
LaZorra: Shh, I think my brother is sleepwalking again. He's coming this way with his hands outstretch'al;keuifjesa
LaZorra has left.
gremlinn: Uh-oh. Sounds like something bad just happened.
SomeGuy: I suppose I'll be leaving now
SomeGuy has left.
gremlinn: Darn, all three of them got me!
LaZorra has entered.
LaZorra: Hope I didn't let you down, grem 
LaZorra has left.
gremlinn: Nice job.
Interestingly, SomeGuy was not an alias but a legitimate chatter already
present during this conversation.
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