This particular incident taught me a very valuable lesson. Don't try to be courteous. It just gets you into trouble.

The next day....

Mia: I'm still looking for that wrap that disappeared last night. Have you seen it?
Sam: Still stuffed in that darkened corner, I think. Ah yes, here it is.
* Sam uncrumples it, wipes the footprints off as best he can, and hands it back.
Mia: SAM! It's RUINED!!!
Sam: No, don't say that. It's just worn a little here, let me...
* Sam takes the wrap, shakes it really vigorously, smooths it out again, licks his fingers, and wipes off the dirt that's ground in.
Mia: You're ruining it even MORE!!! Now it's MUDDY!!
* Sam frowns, takes Mia's wrap, and throws it in the industrial strength washing machine on hot. That'll fix it, Mia! I'm sorry!
Darien: Wait, Sam!
Darien: You forgot the bleach!
* Darien dumps in some bleach. That'll clean in real good.
Mia: NO, SAM!!! Not the INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH WASHING MACHINE!! It's dry clean only!! DARIEN! NO!!!
* Ghost_of_Leen notes why SHE does the laundry, and not Sam.
* Mia takes her wrap out of the industrial strength washing machine, and, noticing the big white splotches on it, turns on Sam and Darien, furious.
Mia: Look what you've done!!!
Darien: Umm... err...
* Darien hides.
Mia: Just look at it! It's positively RUINED! Come BACK HERE, DARIEN!!! NOW!!
* Sam hides the bottle of bleach behind his back. Wasn't me!
* Mia turns on Sam. "Don't even THINK of denying it!!!"
Mia: DARIEN!! Come back here! I mean it!!!
* Darien cowers behind Sam.
* Sam deftly swaps Mia's wrap for a similarly colored table cloth. "All fixed!! See!!"
Sam: Here!!
* Mia glares at Sam, wondering how men can be so stupid as to think a WOMAN would not recognize a TABLE CLOTH when she saw one!
Sam: Table cloth?? Table cloth?? Oh no! Ha ha! Goodness no, how did that get in there? I grabbed the wrong thing by mistake!
* Sam replaces the table cloth and yanks down a curtain.
* Mia glares at Sam, but says nothing.
* Darien hands Sam a sheet.
* Sam holds Darien's sheet behind his back, just in case.
* Mia glares at Darien, saying nothing, but she raises her eyebrows as if to ask, "Do you really think I'm that stupid?
Sam: Whoa, Darien! You blew it! Trying to pass her a SHEET! Dummy!
* Sam looks all proud of himself.
* Darien snatches up the wrap and attempts to re-dye it while Sam keeps Mia occupied.
Darien: (Hey! *You* are the one holding the sheet, pal!)
Sam: (Shut up and finish dyeing!)
* Ticia laughs at how vain her sister can get...."it was just Reynolds' wrap, sister, it didn't even *belong* to you..."
Mia: Ticia! HUSH!
Sam: So the cur--uh, the wrap is all better, now?
* Darien ends up with a dripping, dye-soaked, muddy brown wrap.
Darien: Umm... erm... hey, Mia! What colour was your wrap?
* Mia glares at Sam. "Are you and Leen redecorating or something? Is that why you have the curtain?
Sam: Curtain! Curtain! Ha ha ha! How'd that get here!? Let's get rid of that silly thing! (throws it away) No, HERE is your wrap! (inconspicuously completes Darien's wrap-pass)
* Mia , seeing Darien with her wrap, turns on him. "What have you done to it!!!"
Darien: (Psst, Sam, I think running might be in order soon...)
* Ticia announces to the room that it's not Mia's wrap anyway...it's Reynolds' Wrap!
Sam: Reynolds' Wrap!?!? You turned down a tablecloth AND a curtain for REYNOLD'S WRAP??
Mia: It isn't Reynolds' Wrap! I don't even know Reynold! (Although I hear he is a very nice guy, although a little too...plasticky-looking).
Sam: Oh, heaven's, why didn't you say so? We've got plenty of plastic wrap. Right here in the kitchen. It's the no-name brand, though, so it doesn't stick to anything. Not even itself. But here! A whole roll for the price of a piece!
* Darien thought Reynolds' Wrap was aluminum foil...
Sam: Plastic wrap! How'd this get here! Ha ha! Oh no, I meant aluminum foil! Of course! (swaps roll of plastic wrap for roll of foil)
Mia: Sam...and Darien (You aren't getting out of this) I want my REAL wrap back...not the plastic wrap....but the wrap I gave to Sam for SAFEKEEPING, which you two have RUINED!
Sam: Yes, well...
* Darien has a brilliant idea!
Darien: (Psst, Sam - stall her a little longer!)
Mia: It can't be too brilliant...coming from you, Darien....
* Darien gets out a sewing machine!
Darien: Let's see... what kind of fabric was Mia's wrap made out of originally...
Darien: I know! Burlap!
* Darien begins to sew Mia a new wrap.
* Mia wonders briefly what Darien is doing with a sewing machine, but she dismisses it quickly, knowing that Darien could not possibly know what he is doing.
Sam: Pay no attention to the man at the sewing machine. Your wrap is actually perfectly safe and sound and unsoiled, naturally. But, um, couldn't we have it sent on?

This situation was starting to sound more and more like something Basil Fawlty would have gotten into on Fawlty Towers. So I started acting John Cleesian.

Darien: (Green thread and brown fabric should work, right?)
Darien: (Hrm. The burlap isn't feeding properly. Must be something wrong with this sewing machine)
Sam: I mean, you don't actually need it now, do you? It's -- oh! -- BLISTering hot out just now.
* Mia wonders if Darien thinks he can trick her now, after she SAW how he had RUINED it....
Sam: Ah! I would faint at the thought of bundling up in such dreadful humidity. (shiver) We'll have it sent on! Don't you worry! I assure you, your wrap is in good hands!
Mia: Sam...well, no...but I like that wrap!
Darien: Ruined? It? No, no - that was someone *else's* wrap! Yes, that was... erm...
Mia: It was someone else's wrap?
Darien: That was famous'. She sent it to me so I could... erm... turn it into an object d'arte!
Sam: Oh YES. That awful Mrs. Snoodenburgle! Yes, we actually had a terrible wrap accident here in the foyer just a moment ago. Horrible! Fabric everywhere!
Darien: Yes! The famous Mrs. Snoodenburgle. She is a CHARACTER. Ha. Ha ha.
Sam: Ghastly woman, though. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving individual.
Sam: Uh, yes, quite a character. Lacking it and all.
* Darien is extremely proud of his dodge.
Mia: Um...okay..so who's was it? famous's or Mrs. Snoodenburgle's?
Darien: The famous Mrs. Snoodenburgle's of course.
* Darien finishes his sewing, and removes the oddly-shaped piece of burlap from the machine just in time.
Sam: So anyway, you just run along, dear Mia. I'm sure you have many things to do today. Run along! That's it!
Darien: Look, Mia! I found your wrap!
* Sam groans.
Sam: Pay no attention to Darien, Mia, he's from Barcelona.
Mia: Barcelona? Really?
Darien: Yo soy de Barcelona...
* Mia laughs, decides not to be so angry with them, even though she KNOWS that it was her wrap....but as that was the most clever excuse she has ever heard, she will let them off the hook and take the new burlap wrap. She has always been rather...fond...of burlap anyway....
Sam: Yes, we're trying to give him a clue, but one can only do so much. Ok, run along now! We'll have your wrap sent on!
Darien: (Psst... Sam... she took the burlap one)
Darien: Hay llamas en Barcelona...
Darien: Cuidados! Llamas!
* Mia bursts out laughing. She can't help it. These two are the STUPIDEST men she has ever met!
Sam: Ha ha! Yes, awfully! Ha! Oh, WHAT IS THAT OVER THERE. I THINK IT IS YOUR BUS JUST ABOUT TO LEAVE!
Mia: Oh...that's funny Sam...I didn't buy a ticket, so I guess I'll have to wait for the next bus. There it goes. Bye Mr. Bus.
Darien: Lo siento, Mia, pero no hablo Ingles. Si puedes hablar en Espanol...
Mia: Yo hablo poco Espanol...pero no muy bien y yo quiero hablar Ingles.
Darien: I don't speak Spanish, either. Sorry.
Mia: I never said I didn't speak Spanish....
Darien: No capizo.
Darien: Oh, my! Look at the time! Mia, don't you think you ought to be getting to... umm...
Mia: Yes, Darien? Where do I need to go? Gee...the way you two are talking, you'd think you WANTED me to leave.....
Sam has left.
Darien: (Sure, bail out on me why don't you. Can't trust him for anything)
Darien: WANT you to leave? Don't be silly. Ha ha. We just don't want you to be late, is all.
Mia: Late for what? Do you mind telling me just WHAT I'm supposed to be late FOR?
Darien: No, no, you're *not* supposed to be late, that's just it. So you'd better hurry.
Mia: Darien!! Are you trying to GET ME TO LEAVE!!!???
* Mia glares at Darien, anger arising.
Darien: Of course not! I'm shocked that you would think such a thing! But they'll be mad at you if you keep them waiting!
Mia: Who? The VOICES IN YOUR HEAD???!!!
Darien: No, silly! The people... who... we... sent you wrap to! Yeah, that's it! They're waiting for you!
Mia: Do you think I'm STUPID???
Darien: But I thought you wanted it back.
* Mia glares at Darien angrily. "That's not what I said. I DO want it back. I asked if you thought I was stupid....now answer me!"
Darien: Of course not.
Mia: Then why do you act like you think I'm stupid?
Darien: I'm only trying to help, you know. You wanted your wrap back, so I told you that the people who had it were waiting for you...
Darien: I didn't want them to leave before you got there...
Darien: I'm trying to be so nice, and this is how you repay me, huh?
* Darien starts to cry.
* Mia glares at Darien. "You really think I'm going to fall for that one, eh?"
Darien: Well! A fine sister *you* are!
Darien: See if I do anything nice for you ever again!
Mia: YOU ARE HOLDING MY WRAP!!!!
Ticia: MIA!!! Stop being such a meanie to Darien!!!!
* Ticia slaps Mia around a bit with a large trout :-P
Mia: Ticia! Nobody asked for your opinion!
Ticia: Play NICE!!!!
* Ticia comforts Darien.
Darien: -sniff- Thank you, Ticia...
Ticia: There there, Dar, don't cry
Mia: Ticia: Aren't you away?
Ticia is back.
Ticia: no
Darien: -sniff- I was only trying... to... to... help... -sniff-
Ticia: I understand, she's just in a bad mood....don't worry, she'll get hers
Darien: Thank you, Ticia.
Mia: Darien, no, you were trying to get out of the fact that you RUINED my wrap!!!
Darien: Waaaah! She's yelling at me again!
* Ticia glares at Mia
Ticia: look at what you did
Mia: Oh, stop it Ticia. He's taking you for a fool. he knows what he has done, and he knows that he is just trying to get some sympathy out of SOMEONE!
* Ticia strokes Darien's hair
Ticia: Don't cry, there, there, don't cry
* Ticia slaps some duck tape over Mia's mouth and shoves her in the hamper
* Darien dabs his eyes with a tissue.
Ticia: You can just calm down, Mia! I'll let you out when you can promise to behave
Ghost of Sam: Didn't know the hamper was big enough to contain Mia AND Mousie.
Darien: (Sam: Oh, I see. NOW you come crawling back, huh?)
Mia: (SAM!!! You are in big trouble, mister!!!)
* Mia glares at Ticia. Fortunately for Mia, Ticia is much weaker than Mia, and Mia bursts out of the hamper, angrily.
* Ticia sits on the lid of the hamper
Ticia: Hey!
* Mia threw Ticia off of the hamper when she burst out of it.
* Ticia enlists the help of everyone else in the room to subdue Mia
* Ticia gets out the white jacket that will keep Mia all protected (and everyone else)
Ticia: Somebody! Pin her down...then I can just slip this thing on her....
* Mia would like to note the fact that Ticia should mind her own business.
* Mia gets out her scissors.
Ticia: Mia... put *down* the scissors....
Ticia: this is for your own good, Mia
* Mia cuts the white jacket up before Ticia can do anything about it.
Ticia: can someone please HELP?
Darien: Hey! Mia! You just destroyed that perfectly good white jacket, didn't you!
Mia: Oh, don't even go there, Darien!
* Nyperold gets in the hamper.
Darien: Well, why not? You tear up Ticia's brand-new white jacket without any remorse, and yet you get all upset at us for ruining your wrap!
Darien: Umm, which, of course, we didn't do.
Mia: AH-HA! There...a CONFESSION!!!
Darien: A confession? No, certainly not. I never confessed anything!
Mia: Well, it was close enough!
Ticia: *sigh* here we go again
Mia: Oh, shut up sister!
* Ticia thinks Mia could at least *try* to be calm
Mia: I AM trying!
Mia: If Darien wouldn't have RUINED my wrap by BLEACHING it, I wouldn't be so upset! And Sam! You coward! Come back here!
Darien: Yeah, Sam!
Dave has entered.
Dave: Hey everyone.
Mia: DAVE!!!
* Dave hugs Mia.
Darien: I blame Dave! It's all his fault!
Dave: No chance. It's got to be your fault.
* Mia throws her arms around Dave, bursting into tears. "See how mean they are to me!!!"
Dave: Everyone is so mean to Mia!
Darien: Mean to her? She's the one yelling at us!
Darien: I'm not being mean! I was just trying to help!
Mia: Dave! Are you going to be mean to me too?
* Mia pushes Dave away. "Thanks a lot. I thought I could count on your support....but I guess not!"
Dave: Hey, hang on! I *was* supporting you, Mia. What's up with that?
Dave: Sheesh. See what I get for trying to be NICE to the girl.
Darien: See, Dave? I was trying to help her, and she lashed out at me, too!
Mia: He and Sam RUINED my wrap that Sam was supposed to keep safe for me (from last night) byt washing and bleaching it. Then they dyed it and dirtied it....and THEN they tried to get me to leave!
Dave: Huh?
Mia: They wanted me to leave!!!
* Mia bursts into tears.
Dave: Why?
Mia: I DON'T KNOW!!!
* Mia starts crying again.
Dave: Well, then why are you so upset about it??
Mia: Because they don't like me anymore!
Dave: Oh.
Dave: Just kick them all in the head. That's what I'd do.
* Mia kicks Darien in the head. She does feel a little better...if only a little.
* Darien cries.
Darien: Fine, then. In that case, I'm leaving. Loving sister, indeed.
Darien has left.
Mia: Fine, Darien! Goodbye!!!
* Nyperold HUGS Mia.
Dave: Nyp: I already *tried* that. She just pushed me away and accused me of turning against her.
Mia: Thank you, Nyperold!
Nyperold: Is the wrap here, or elsewhere?
Mia: Darien had it! It's that ugly brown thing he is holding. THAT used to be it!
* Nyperold can do something.
Mia: What can you do, Nyperold?
* Nyperold teleports the wrap into his hand.
Nyperold: (Using his pocket teleporter, of course)
Mia: But...it's ugly!
* Nyperold puts it into an odd-looking box and presses a few buttons.
* Mia wonders what Nyperold is doing and watches him curiously.
Nyperold: How long ago was it good?
Mia: Oh...It was okay last night, before Sam threw it into a corner.
* Nyperold turns a dial, and presses a button. The machine hums and flashes as the dial turns.
Mia: Oooo! AAhhhhh! Eeeee! How LOVELY!!!
Mia: Ooof!
Marvin: It's a microwave!
* Mia hopes her lungs won't burst.
* Nyperold opens the box, and pulls out... the wrap as in was before it was ruined!
Mia: WOW!!! Why didn't you think of that, Sam??? Darien should have, too!
* Mia throws her arms around Nyperold. "Thanks!!!"
* Nyperold throws his arms around Mia. "You're very welcome."
Nyperold: =)
* Mia giggles.
* Dave has been given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Dave.
Dave: Aww, I'm so sweet.