Archives: Top Five
The "top five" thing comes from High Fidelity, book and movie.
In the middle here, there's a bit from The Princess Bride. Other
than that, there is no explaining this transcript. It's all over the place.
Well, it was late.
Stephen has entered.
Sam: TOP 5 REASONS TO RUN AWAY FROM STEPHEN AAAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Stephen: 1. Breath
Stephen: 2. He places little value on human life (this includes yours)
* Marvin wonders how much he values his own life.
Ellmyruh: 3. He's from SoCal.
Stephen: 3. He EATS kittens
Ellmyruh: HA! I BEAT!!
BurgerKing: 4. He dislikes being interrupted.
Stephen: 4. Despite the fact that he does laundry 23/6, his clothes all smell like mold
Sam: LOL. You do laundry WAY more than that.
Stephen: 5. He might make you do a Top 5 List of some sorts
* Kiki HUGS STEPHEN!!!!!!
Faux_Pas has entered.
* Faux_Pas just wanted to say that "Dimples for Gore" and "Dimples for Bush" are the two funniest things they're saying on television today.
Sam: There's no earthly reason a dimpled ballot should count. There's no way of telling whether the voter *intended* to punch it through or not. Maybe he started to punch the wrong hole and changed his mind. You don't know.
Faux_Pas: I totally agree.
Bo: New Suit, Right off the Rack: 300 dollars.
Bo: Losing the Presidential Election because 19,000 of your followers are too damned stupid to fill out a ballot: Priceless.
Faux_Pas: I still think we should just put them in the Thunderdome. "Two candidates enter, one Presidential-Elect leaves."
* Stephen thinks we should use some of sort of telepathic killer robot to solve this election problem
Stephen: First, the robot would use its telepathy to tell who really won
Stephen: Then, it would kill all the politicians
Stephen: It's a win-win situation
Stephen: Actually, I don't think we need the telepathic part after all.
Sam: I AM TELLING THE BFI ON YOU STEPHEN
Stephen: SAM OH NO THEY WILL CONDUECT A SITE AND SOUND POOL ON ME!!!!!
Sam: Faux_Pas: Top 5 Reasons the Name of "Faux_Pas" Makes Us Quake In Our Boots?
Sam: Quick, man! Quick, man! List them!
Faux_Pas: 5. Faux Pas knows where the rail gun and hidden quad damage are.
Faux_Pas: 4. Being a 500lb Gorilla, when he moves around, everything quakes in their boots.
Faux_Pas: 3. /me took the last cookie, and you don't want that to happen again.
Faux_Pas: 2. Faux Pas knows how to keep people in suspense.
Faux_Pas: and the number one reason why the name "Faux Pas" makes us quake in our boots....
* Sam is in suspense, darn it.
Sam: STOP KEEPING ME IN SUSPENSE.
Sam: Wait a minute.
Sam: I get it.
Sam: There ISN'T a number one reason, is there!?!?!? HA! I FIGURED IT OUT.
Sam: YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.
Faux_Pas: 1. Faux Pas can fool Sam.
Sam: You CAN'T fool me!!!!!!!!
Faux_Pas: Sam, I've got a good retort for that. Hold on a second while I type it up.
Sam: Ok, I'm waiting.
Sam: This better be good.
Faux_Pas: It's going to be pretty long.
Sam: Ok, but HURRY UP.
* Sam starts composing retorts in his head and waits patiently for his chance to employ them.
Faux_Pas: Hold on.
Sam: Hey, wait a--
Marvin: Retort? What's a retort?
Ferrick: You Retort when the cake falls on the floor.
Sam: Ah HA!
Sakura: Ah HA?
Sam: HA HA HA HA HA HA, I BET YOU FELL FOR IT!
Marvin: Fell for what?
Sakura: Fell for what?
Sam: I, UH, I LED YOU INTO BELIEVING YOU HAD FOOLED ME INTO THINKING YOU WERE TYPING SOMETHING, BUT, HEH HEH, I, UH, DIDN'T! REALLY! AND YOU FELL FOR IT! HA, HA, HA.
* Sam has nimble wits like a antelope.
Ferrick: Ah, the majestic, Nimble-witted Antelope.
Marvin: I don't get it.
Faux_Pas: /msg Marvin I'm fooling Sam. Oh, wait I hope this doesn't go out in the clear. Then again, if it does, it's probably a big plan to fool Sam, or is it?
Faux_Pas: Oops. Ignore that.
Marvin: I don't get it.
* Sam employs his wits. It appears you have bungled a /msg, and so I can clearly not believe it is false. But you knew I would see a bungled /msg, and so I can clearly not believe it is true. But you knew my wits were like a antelope, because I told you -- you would have counted on it -- and so I can clearly not believe it is false.
Faux_Pas: Are you done?
Sam: I'M JUST BEGINNING!
* Ferrick is hungry. I wonder if we have any antelope.
Sam: Your words were in English, which is the language spoken in Australia. And as we know, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And so-- HEY! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!
Faux_Pas: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Sam: (no, turn around)
Sam: Ahem. WHAT THE BLUNDERING FOUL DEMONS OF ALL EVIL IS THAT????????????????
* Marvin turns around.
* Faux_Pas turns around.
* Marvin is distracted.
* BurgerKing faints with excitement.
* Sam switches Faux_Pas and Marvin around.
* Faux_Pas turns back.
Marvin: I don't see anything. Are you sure...
Faux_Pas: Sam, what are you laughing at?
Sam: A-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. A-HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH. A-HA HA HA--
Sam has left.
Marvin: There are not my pants. Who's pants are these anyways?
Marvin: So, ummm, hey, how you doin'?
Faux_Pas: I've been spending the last five years dimpling Palm Beach County ballots.
Marvin: That's too bad. You should give back to the elderly.
* Faux_Pas takes Marvin and runs off screen.
Ghost of Sam: --HA HAHHHAHAHAHAAHAH. A-HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. A-HA HA HA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
* Faux_Pas actually met Wallace Shawn once.
Faux_Pas: He was behind me in line at a deli down on Wall Street. He had the turkey salad sandwich.
Ghost of Sam: Wow, cool.
Faux_Pas: He's shorter than I thought.
Ghost of Sam: Was he dead?
Faux_Pas: He was pretty much alive. I think if he was dead, he would've ordered brains.
Ghost of Sam: I always wondered if he performed his own death for the movie, or if they just killed a lookalike stunt man instead.
* Faux_Pas has been working in New York City for about three years, and he's the only famous person I've actually seen in person right there in front of me at all.
Sam has entered.
Marvin: How did Sam die?
Faux_Pas: Sam was dimpled in the chad.
Faux_Pas: It was a fatal dimple.
Marvin: Poor Sam.....
Sam: Top 5 Reasons I Rule
Marvin: Drum roll please.
Leen: 1. You're married to Leen
Ellmyruh: LOL LOL! LEEN RULES!
Sam: 1. I am a charming, sophisticated, elegant, ravishing, attractive, and humble young man.
Sam: 2. Leen, the only person cooler than me, is ALL MINE.
Sam: 3. I know a little hand trick thing that makes it look like I can pull my thumb of if you're looking from the right angle and I do it right.
Sam: 4. I am not K.
Sam: 5. I never was K.
Stephen: K RULED!!!!!!
b_p_e: Top 10 Reasons I rule:
Stephen: 5 is hardcore, 10 is sissy
b_p_e: Top 5 Reasons I rule:
Faux_Pas: Top 5 Reasons Sam Was Downgraded to Admin from Admin+
Faux_Pas: 5. Faux Pas brought down the curve.
Faux_Pas: 4. He didn't finish all his tater tot casserole.
b_p_e: Top 2 Reasons I rule?
b_p_e: not even 2?
Sam: bpe: LOL. I thought YOU were going to list them.
Sam: Top 5 Reasons B_P_E rules:
Sam: 1. She never interferes if you want to talk just to hear yourself speak.
Sam: 2. She has TWO underscores in her name.
Sam: 3. She was paXX0ring a moment ago.
Sam: 4. An anagram of her nickname is the highly comical "epb."
Sam: 5. I have deemed it so.
b_p_e: thank you, thank you. everyone.
Bo: TWO underscores. That rules so much.
* Faux_Pas only has one underscore. He is so jealous.
BurgerKing: Top 1 Reason Why BurgerKing is Boring:
BurgerKing: 1. He can only think of one item for a "Top" list.
Sam: Top 733 Reasons Why I Am 733t
Sam: (deep breath)
Ayako: Leen! Restrain your husband!
Wormwood: He's not going to say it all at once, it he?
* Ellmyruh wonders how long this post of Sam's will be. He's being awfully quiet.
Faux_Pas: Sam is good at keeping people in suspense.
* Faux_Pas is going to bed.
Faux_Pas has left.
Wormwood: I need a Linux beginner's guide.
Stephen: Okay, what distribution are you running?
Sam: 1-733: I KEPT YOU ALL IN SUSPENSE!!!!!!!!!!!
Wormwood: Stephen: Linux Router Project. It fits on a floppy and I don't have to use Lilo.
Sam: DID YOU GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stephen: Disirregardless of that, first you need to frpot your main tarball. If the CVS isn't intact, you're going to apply a few patches.
Sam: A-HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Stephen: You're not ONLINE with that, are you?
Sam: THAT IS MY BEST JOKE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ayako: ...Oh yeah, Sam said he was going to list 733 something-or-others, didn't he?
Stephen: Somebody could very easily root you if you don't have proper security ASAP. Have you checked all currently running procedures to make sure?
Wormwood: No, I'm in Windows.
Wormwood: Um. Disirregardless?
Stephen: Yeah, disirregardless. It's the correct form of "disirregardless"
Stephen: Bleh. I typed disirregardless when I meant disirregardless
Stephen: Wait a MINUTE
Stephen: THERE'S A NEW FILTER!
Wormwood: I'm not about to run in Linux for long until I can get very good security going. I've been under constant portscan for the last four days.
Dave has entered.
Dave: HEY EVARYBODY I LEARNS A RIDDLE TODAY WANTS TO HERE IT?
Dave: JINGLE BELLS BAT MAN SMELLS ROBIN LAID AN EGGS!!! BUTTSMOKEBILE LOST ITS WHEEL AND TEH JOKAR GOTS AWAY!!!!!
Dave: HAHAHA iSN'T THAT A GRATE RIDDLE?
Stephen: Eggs!!! That's the answer, isn't it??
Ferrick: I DONT GETS IT
Stephen: WW: Anyway, after you've fixed your CVS tarball, fsck your main disk. Use the grep -? command to help out.
Wormwood: Er, ok. I'll remember that. But, uh--
Wormwood: I think it runs on a RAM disk.
Wormwood: And it uses a disk image.
Stephen: You've read the man pages for grep, right???
Wormwood: No. I got this disk image of Linux not an hour ago.
Stephen: The ramdisk still needs to be fscked.
Dave: Whoa, you haven't fscked the ramdisk yet? Better get to it.
Wormwood: I think I'll ask for a book on Linux for Christmas.
Stephen: Just use the man pages. type "man helplinux"
Stephen: Unless you DIDN'T install the full manpage set. In which case you're screwed.
Ferrick: Did you tracert the source?
Stephen: Bleh. You only need to do that if you're worried about a corrupted kernel.
Stephen: Unless WW's ALREADY been rooted (you don't have DSL or anything, right?) he shouldn't have to worry about it
Dave: Wormwood: What you want to do is ifconfig your NIC, too.
Stephen: Yeah, definitely ifconfig the NIC ASAP. Make sure to keep a monitor on what's being run if you're online though!
Wormwood: I have DSL. However, I'M NOT RUNNING LINUX RIGHT NOW. I have one computer.
Sam: Stephen: Yeah, but if you have the BSDv311 with a rev d file system, you need to do that to KEEP it from getting corrupted from the tty overflow bug.
Stephen: Sam: Really? I'm not up to date on the latest kernel patches I guess.
Dave: That was fixed in BIND v8
Sam: Oh. All right, then WW, make sure you download BIND v8 if you only have v7.
Stephen: Make SURE you get rid of glibc though. libc 3 or 4 should be fine. It's much more secure
Stephen: Also, you'll want to recompile the kernel as soon as you've got a free minute. grep will help you there, too.
Wormwood: Stephen: Yes, thanks for that information, SUPER FUNNY MAN.
Stephen: No, seriously, recompile the kernel after any setup.
Sam: libc 3 or 4? SECURE? Don't make me laugh!
Sam: You need 5!
Stephen: libc5 introduced a host of new bugs. Or do you mean the one BEFORE the source fork?
Dave: No no no, all the glibc5 bugs are fixed in Samba 2.1.18
Sam: Oh, wait, libc.so.4.14 is ok, but it might not be soft linked correctly from libc.so. Of course, if you're not using shared libraries, you need to check libc.a instead, but those never had the security issues, because they're precompiled into the executables.
Wormwood: I'll guess I'll have to get my -4096 bit PGP, too.
Stephen: Actually, if you're running Linux you can use gnuPGP. If you don't get the latest source though you could be screwed since there was a bug with earlier versions that created non-random keys.
Wormwood: Yes, I know.
Stephen: Dave: Bleh. I say just stick with libc 4.0.2. It's perfectly stable for me. Except it crashes every 23 hours and 59 minutes
Dave: Stephen: OH! That's the 24 hour bug! You fix that with xntpd 2.14.5
Sam: YOUR LINUX BOX ISN'T H24 COMPLIANT????????????/
Dave: "24 hour bug" is actually a misnomer, as it actually happens ever 23 hours and 59 minutes, as you said. But people like to be obscure sometimes.
Sam: DUDE! YOU WANT TO CRASH THE STOCK MARKET OR SOMETHING, YOU IDIOT??
Stephen: WW: Use grep to test the version.
Sam: egrep is better
Dave: I like fgrep
Sam: Yes, that's cool, too. The important thing is that they are both better than dgrep, which should never have left beta.
Dave: HEY! I LIKE dgrep! Just because it only catches about 92% of the occurances of each string doesn't mean it sucks!
Dave: It's EASILY the fastest grep clone out there! It's about 8% faster than fgrep!
Stephen: WW: What text editors does your distro come with? Whatever you do, stay away from any VI or EMACS clones.
Stephen: Try and use ELVIS if possible.
Wormwood: I don't know. It's like pico with less features.
Stephen: PICO is horrible. Way too complicated
Dave: Yeah, you either want to get PICO or MSDOS Edit for Linux
Stephen: Edit is good too
Wormwood: I'd better get my shovel.
Ferrick: If you run into any .zip files instead of a tar file, use infozip. Just don't use funzip because that is whack.
Dave: I use gunzip for .zip files.
Ferrick: Well, gunzip will work unless the file is encrypted.
Ferrick: Then you are out of luck. Especially if it is neo-encrypted.
Dave: True. Then you need guncrypt
Ferrick: Watch out for guncrypt on certain AIX and HP-UX boxes or you could change all of your readme files to .jpgs of Larry Ellison.
Dave: Whoa! No way! Thanks for the tip!
Ferrick: But I think it is only 4.3.1 of AIX. The HPUX version is unknown.
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