The cool thing about RinkChat is just how exotic it can be sometimes.
Where else can you travel through strange and wild lands in the comfort of
your own home?
* Issachar is bored, and decides to go on a safari.
* Issachar grabs his gear and hops in the all-terrain vehicle.
Issachar: Anyone coming?
Mousie: I'm in!
Ticia: Naw, I think that will make it too long, what do you think?
* Ticia wants to ride on an elephant
Issachar: Yay, let's go find an elephant for Ticia.
* Mousie dons her pith helmet.
RinkChat: User Issachar has been labeled 'pithy helmet' by Issachar.
Issachar: Darn, you beat me to it!
Issachar: Who's a good driver? I've never handled one of these jeep things before.
Darien: I'll drive it!
Issachar: Okay, it's Darien at the wheel!
* Faux_Pas wakes up in the back seat
Faux_Pas: "Huh? What's going on?"
* Darien hopes his game of angband won't distract him too much from the road...
* Issachar holds onto the rollbars with one hand and clenches a rifle in the other.
* Mousie holds on for dear life!
Faux_Pas: Right side of the road! Right side!
Darien: Right side? Umm, yeah. That's what I meant.
Mousie: I want to neck with a giraffe!
Mousie: Um. Wait.
Mousie: I want to SEE a giraffe!!!
* Darien gets his slingshot ready, lest they be attacked by savages.
* Ticia 's elephant lumbers down the road after the jeep
Faux_Pas: Great, we're being hunted by an elephant.
Faux_Pas: Oh, Ticia's on it.
* Ticia waves at Faux_Pas from her elephant (whom she can't seem to decide on a name for)
RinkChat: User Faux_Pas has been labeled 'photojournalist' by Faux_Pas.
* Faux_Pas takes picture of Ticia's elephant
* Mousie looks good in khaki.
* Issachar looks tacky in .... oh, never mind.
* Darien wore yellow. Was that wrong?
Faux_Pas: Look! Zebras!
* Ticia decides to name her elephant "Expedition" (hey, it's a cool name)
Ticia: Tally ho, Expedition!!
* Issachar spots a pack of wild dogs, and a rare Pokemon.
* Faux_Pas bounces in the backseat as Darien drives really fast over the speed bumps
Grishny has entered.
Faux_Pas: Look! Off to our left! It's Grishny!
Grishny: Are we having a safari?
Grishny: I am so insightful
* Grishny is actually a LION come to DEVOUR you ALL!
RinkChat: User Grishny has been labeled 'ravenous LION' by Grishny.
* Mousie knows that Lions and Mousies are friends. Let me pull that thorn from your paw, Grishny.
* Mousie makes a nest in Grishny's mane.
Mousie: Or in his name. Grishnesty.
* Issachar raises his rifle and sights down the length of the barrel.
Darien: Hang on! I'm gonna see if I can jump this gorge!
* Grishny ROARS
* Faux_Pas takes another picture
* Grishny LEAPS onto the photojournalist!
Faux_Pas: Yeah baby, show me those teeth. Yeah, work it.
Faux_Pas: [click] [click]
* Grishny DEVOURS the photojournalists' camera!
* Darien guns the engine.
* Grishny licks his lips and looks hungrily at the astonished photojournalist
* Issachar whacks Grishny in the head with a seooookkkking.
* Issachar 's rifle is a seoooookkkkking rifle, by the way.
* Darien shifts into third gear and lets 'er rip.
* Faux_Pas pushes the lion off the jeep.
* Issachar leaps from the jeep onto Grishny's back and digs his fingers into the lion's mane.
Mousie: Watch out! I'm IN that mane!
* Issachar is careful not to disturb Mousie's nest while he wrestles with the beast.
* Faux_Pas takes out a spare camera.
* Ticia and Expedition have gotten lost somewhere
* Darien yanks up on the steering wheel, causing the Jeep to fly madly across the gorge.
Faux_Pas: This'll make a great shot!
* Issachar is woefully outmatched and finds himself pinned beneath the lion's great paws in a trice.
* Grishny thrashes, knocking Issachar into several tree trunks in the process
Faux_Pas: Hold the jeep steady!
* Issachar shrinks away from the lion's awful breath
* Mousie whispers in Grishny's ear that Issachar is his friend, too.
* Issachar pulls a wide grin and nods his head vigorously.
* Ticia wanders around the jungle for a while until she stumbles into some aboriginees and becomes their queen
* Darien pulls out his trusty slingshot and takes aim, making very sure not to hit the nested Mousie.
* Darien fires.
* Ticia leads an "expedition" of her followers to rescue her friends from the ravenous LION
* Darien hits Issachar by mistake.
* Issachar is knocked out.
RinkChat: User Issachar has been labeled 'stunned' by Issachar.
* Grishny finally throws Issachar and Mousie off and retreats off into the forest. I'll go after easier prey
* Faux_Pas bounces in the back seat as the jeep finally lands on the other side of the gorge
* Darien quickly grabs the wheel again, just in time to avoid hitting a tree.
Issachar: Awesome driving, Darien, jumping that gorge while hitting me with a slingshot.
Faux_Pas: I think we need to cross the gorge again
Darien: Do we? Cool! The gorge rules!
Faux_Pas: Let's take that bridge this time.
Darien: The bridge? But what fun is that?
* Ticia and her people get lost and, after finding a city of gold, decide to stay put
RinkChat: User Ticia has been labeled 'Amazon Queen' by Ticia.
* Issachar begins to get sunburned lying out in the open.
* Faux_Pas shouts "Give Issachar some aloe!"
* Darien revs up the motor. If we're gonna take the bride, we're gonna *take* the bridge.
* Faux_Pas looks for the seatbelt, but can't find it.
* Faux_Pas gulps.
* Faux_Pas voids his bladder.
Issachar: (I thought it was the farmer who takes a bride??)
Mousie: No, SEVEN brides.
Darien: Nya hem. Darien meant to say "bridge," he's just retarded. It's hard to type and drive at the same time!
* Faux_Pas holds on tightly.
* Mousie revives Issachar and they jump back into the jeep.
Issachar: While it's jumping the canyon????
Mousie: Yes. We're good jumpers.
Issachar: That's the Magic that is Mousie, I suppose.
Mousie: Part of it.
* Darien sends the Jeep flying diagonally across the gorge, skips it off the bridge, and flies across the remainder of the gorge to land in the underbrush on the far side!
* Faux_Pas goes flying out of the back seat
Darien: Ooo, darn. Umm... somebody catch him.
* Faux_Pas lands in the back seat.
Darien: Oh, cool. I'm a better driver than I thought.
Faux_Pas: I think I broke my spleen.
Darien: Pah. What did it ever do for you?
* Issachar , once on the other side of the gorge, finds some attractively ripe berries on which to gorge himself.
* Mousie has never been called a ripe berry before.
Issachar: Oops, my mistake, miss.
eric has entered.
* eric buries a turkey under the Jeep
* eric asks what kind of Jeep it is
* Ticia hears a commotion outside and finds that her friends have driven their jeep right into the heart of her city of gold!
Ticia: (okay, maybe the outskirts of the city)
Darien: Oh, cool! Gold! And look at those *pyramids!* Those would make some great ramps!
Mousie: Is there a Subway around this jungle/desert? I'm dying for a tuna sandwich.
* Darien Jepp MAn
* Darien absolutely sucks. That was very Lifacious.:-}
Mousie: SO Lifacious.
Faux_Pas: Wait, I didn't break my spleen. I'm sitting on a golden idol
Faux_Pas: and it hurts.
Faux_Pas: Heh, it was embedded in my spleen. Can someone help me with this?
* eric lifts Faux Pas off the golden idol
* Faux_Pas blinks.
Faux_Pas: Hey, it's a city of gold!
* Ticia is so excited to see her friends, she prepares a feast (well, she has her servants do it, anyway) to celebrate their arrival
* Faux_Pas looks for his camera
* Issachar loses track of Darien, the Jeep, and Everything, and strolls into a conveniently nearby jungle. Or rain forest. Or whatever.
* Issachar unsheathes a machete and commences a'whackin'.
RinkChat: User Issachar has been labeled 'HeartO'Dorkness' by Issachar.
* Mousie whacks Issachar with a machete! Score!
* Issachar merrily ignores Mousie's pernicious assault, and explores the dense forest.
Ticia: Come, friends, eat and be refreshed!!!
* Darien thinks about this for a minute...
Darien: Golden city... Jeep...
* Darien pillages!
Mousie: I think I see Harrison Ford over there.....
* eric stops Darien
eric: stop, darien!
eric: don't do this!
eric: or, at least, do it, but wait for a second
* eric runs off and returns with a pickup truck with a HUGE bed
* eric runs off and gets two more
eric: NOW do it!
* Darien fires eric out of his slingshot.
* Issachar hears some inspiring adventure-movie theme music playing nearby, and surmises that Mousie may indeed have sighted his tulingness Mr. Ford.
* Faux_Pas whispers to Darien: we can fool them into thinking we're gods and walk away with all the loot.
Faux_Pas: I saw it in a movie last week.
* eric likes Faux Pas' way of thinking
* eric is wacky-looking enough to pass himself off as a god
Mousie: You guys are WEIRD.
Mousie is away.
* Ticia remindes Faux_Pas that she saw that movie, too...It won't work...I know you, and I know you're not gods
* Darien guns the Jeep's engine and drives it straight up the side of a pyramid!
* Darien and Faux Pas and the Jeep rocket of the top of the pyramid and begin sailing over the jungle.
Darien: Great view from up here.
Faux_Pas: Yeah. I can see my house.
* Faux_Pas yells
Darien: I wonder if we can find Iss from here...
Faux_Pas: I wonder if we're about to achieve orbit.
* Issachar finds a pool at the base of a waterfall and goes for a swim. After a quick scan with his handy-dandy underwater snake detector, that is. :-)
* Darien and Faux Pas and the Jeep fly past the moon in a really cool shot that looks like that famous one from E.T.
* eric pushes Faux Pas off
* Faux_Pas re-enters the Earth's atmosphere
* Issachar finds some trees beside the pool and shimmies up the trunk of one tree, then swings out over the water on a vine. Whee!
* Faux_Pas hits a trampoline and winds up back in the jeep.
Faux_Pas: that was odd.
Darien: You keep doing that, too.
* Issachar lets go and drops into the water. ***SPLASH!!!***
* Ticia decides to eat the prepared feast herself, since no one else seems to want to
Faux_Pas: So, uh. Anyone worried that the jeep doesn't seem to be going back down?
Faux_Pas: I mean, how steep was that pyramid anyway?
* Darien wishes Faux Pas hadn't mentioned that - the Jeep starts going down real fast!
* eric grabs the Jeep and pulls it back down with suspicious ease
* Ticia wonders how eric managed to do that
* eric smiles. Gravity works again.
Faux_Pas: Hey, thanks eric.
* Faux_Pas hands eric a purloined golden idol.
* Ticia gets done eating and passes around Cinnamon Altoids
Ticia: Anyone? Anyone? they're curiously strong...
* Darien and Faux Pas and the Jeep smack into the ground, landing with a satisfying "thud" right next to Issachar's lake.
Faux_Pas: This can't be good.
* Issachar wasn't very satisfied with that *thud*.
* Darien makes a much better "thud."
Issachar: Hi, Darien, Faux Pas and the Jeep!
Darien: Hey, Iss! Hop in!
* Ticia is sad that Darien and Faux_Pas flew off like that and didn't even say goodbye!
* Faux_Pas thinks we should have loaded the jeep up with gold before making our escape.
* eric frowns. Bad Faux Pas! No loading up the Jeep with stolen golden items! That's what I got the pickups for!
Darien: I tried, but I got distracted by the pyramid...
Faux_Pas: We've got to go back and get the gold.
Darien: Ruling! Let's go!
* Issachar hops in.
Issachar: Um, what am I hopping in fo--------WHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
* Issachar 's neck snaps backward as Darien guns the engine.
* Faux_Pas feels hungry.
Faux_Pas: And we didn't get any food, either!
Faux_Pas: I'll bet they even had Cinnamon Altoids for dessert!
Darien: Umm... got any ramps or pyramids or anything around here, Iss?
* Darien laments the lack of really tall pyramids, and simply drives like mad through the jungle, roughly in the direction of the gold city.
* eric Fed Exes all the gold and such to their houses
eric: there, it's all taken care of
* Ticia has her followers attack eric for stealing all the gold
* eric survives, and the followers can't get anything back
* Darien and Faux Pas and Issachar and the Jeep pull into the city of gold.
* Issachar puts on his shades to keep the glare down.
Sarya has entered.
* Ticia welcomes Sarya into her golden city with open arms!
Faux_Pas: Two Amazon beauties?
Ticia: Yes, Sarya, you just missed the Feast!
Faux_Pas: Yeah, that's the stuff.
Ticia: yah, I had a feast
Sarya: that's some trick thou amazon queen
Faux_Pas: Work it. [click]
* Ticia gets really angry with eric, has her followers catch him, and throws him in prison (all the while, still posing with Sarya)
Faux_Pas: [click] that's it. Stand on his neck. [click]
Faux_Pas: lookin' good [click]
* Ticia stands on his neck and holds her spear over his throat "Like this?"
Faux_Pas: That's it. [click]
* Faux_Pas whispers to Darien and Issachar "grab the gold"
* Darien nods and grabs the gold secretly.
Ticia: ERIC ALREADY TOOK ALL THE GOLD!
Darien: Nah, he couldn't afford postage for *all* the gold. So he just took some of it.
Ticia: oh, ok then
* Issachar grabs the gold, and a trap door opens under his feet (as opposed to above his head?), dropping him down a loooooong shaft.
* eric breaks out of prison. Too bad you idiots made the bars out of gold. I already shipped it home.
* Issachar lands in a snake pit.
* Mousie ponders the morality of stealing gold from this ancient and glorious city. She hopes the whole thing doesn't just fall down right on top of you thieves.
* Issachar talks to the snakes, calming them and sympathizing with their plight.
Darien: Hey, Faux Pas, have you seen Iss?
Faux_Pas: Oh yeah, he's in that snake pit back there. Okay, ladies, perhaps just a bit more leg. [click]
Darien: Oh. I see. Hey, Iss! Hurry up! We gotta get this gold outta here! Oops.. I mean...
* Issachar convinces the snakes to allow him to tie them together, end to end, and use them to climb out of the pit.
* Mousie puts on a white dress like Karen Whatshername and saves Issachar from the snakepit.
Issachar: Hi there, Mousie. No rescue attempt necessary, I'm just pulling a Sinbad on these guys.
* Issachar helps Mousie up out of the pit.
* Ticia shows just a bit more leg
Sarya: Ticia!!!! cover your ankles!
Faux_Pas: whups. outta film. just gotta reload the camera.
* Faux_Pas reloads camera
* Issachar looks around. Um, where are we?
Darien: Iss! FP! In the Jeep, quick! We gotta get outta here!
Faux_Pas: But she's almost nekkid!
Darien: Well, okay, you can take some nekkid pictures! But hurry up!
* Ticia glances at eric, realizes he is out of jail, and tries to catch him again.
eric: But ticia, you're to busy posing for faux pas to catch me
* Ticia would like to point out that she was *not* nekkid
Faux_Pas: "almost" nekkid
Faux_Pas: the ankle at least.
* Mousie is nekkid underneath all these clothes.
* Faux_Pas dives in the Jeep.
* Darien revs up the Jeep, drives up the side of the pyramid, and then spins it around, smashing it through the ground and into the bizarre underground vault system!
Darien: Jeez. They built these things to *last.*
Faux_Pas: Blast. Left the lens cap on.
Faux_Pas: Can we redo this again? We're losing light here, people!
Ticia: wait for me, guys!!!! I don't want to be left in a goldless city of gold!!!!
Faux_Pas: Wait! You need to sign this model release form!
* Ticia signs the model release form without looking at it, and jumps in the jeep
* Faux_Pas catches Ticia
Faux_Pas: Here, just sign here, here, and here.
* Ticia signs some more
Faux_Pas: I just need to photocopy some form of ID... Can we stop at the Kinko's on the way out of the goldless city of gold?
* Ticia doesn't have any form of ID with her right now, she left it back at the elephant
* eric pulls out a photocopier from his backpack
* Darien drives around the underground vault system hunting for Issachar.
Mousie: Iss, we might be in the casbah. Let's rock it!
Issachar: Rock on!
* Issachar wishes he remembered more of how that song went.
* Ticia calls for Issachar, trying to help Darien find him
* Issachar decides he doesn't want to be found. He likes it right here in the casbah just fine.
Issachar: A man's home is his casbah, after all. :-)
* Issachar summons a few servants to feed him grapes.
* Darien will miss Issachar, but, if that is his decision, that's how it is. Darien prepares to leave the goldless city of gold.
Mousie: Casbahs rule. Can I stay, too? I have a great pink Jeannie outfit that might work.
Issachar: Yeah, but can you wiggle your nose?
Mousie: I cross my arms and blink.
* Faux_Pas looks behind us to see the natives chasing us with pointy sticks.
Mousie: Shareem don't like it. Rock the casbah. Rock the casbah.
* Darien slams on the gas pedal, burns out of the city, up the side of the tallest pyramid, and up into the air.
* Ticia wonders if we're almost home
* eric waves his hat in the air
eric: crud, i dropped it! pull over, darien
* Faux_Pas tries to find an outlet in the jeep to plug the photocopier into, but fails.
Darien: Use the lighter adapter!
* Issachar calls, Jeannie! Think you could conjure up a great big magic rug?
RinkChat: User Issachar has been labeled 'Chic Sheik' by Issachar.
* Mousie crosses her arms, nods, and blinks. A beautiful magic carpet appears under Issachar.
RinkChat: User Mousie has been labeled 'Ahab the Arab' by Mousie.
Faux_Pas: Hey, I can see Expedition from up here!
Faux_Pas: You did leave your purse at the elephant.
* Faux_Pas hands the photocopier back to eric
eric: i don't want this thing
* eric chucks the photocopier out of the Jeep
eric: oops, i killed your elephant, ticia. sorry.
* Faux_Pas takes a picture of Ticia punching eric in the nose.
eric: oh wait, he's not dead yet
eric: in fact, he's getting better
eric: i think he may pull through, ticia
* Ticia claps
* Darien throws eric out of the Jeep for committing such a senseless act of brutality.
* Faux_Pas watches eric fall and crush the Grishny lion.
* eric gets back into the Jeep
Faux_Pas: So, uh. Still going up, are we?
Ticia: Are we there yet?
Faux_Pas: Orbit? almost.
* Darien and Faux Pas and Ticia and the Jeep land with a "thud" *significantly* more satisfying than the last back in New Rink City, whence their trip began.
Faux_Pas: That was satisfying.
Faux_Pas: Man, I'm going to buy one of these jeeps.
Faux_Pas: They hold up rather well.
* Faux_Pas pats the hood of the jeep.
Darien: Yeah they do. Didn't even scratch the paint!
Faux_Pas: [pat pat]
* Ticia askes the driver to drop her off at her home, as she doesn't trust the New Rink Subway...
Mousie: I knew there was a Subway! I'd like a tuna on white, lettuce, pickles, and pepperoni only.
* Darien drives Ticia home.
Ticia: Thanks, Darien!
* Faux_Pas publishes the pictures of Ticia's ankle in National Geographic.
* eric protests such filth as lewd and obscene
* Ticia gets out of the jeep, walks up the driveway to her house, and realizes that she left her keys back with Expedition
Ticia: anyone know how to pick a lock?
* Darien drives the Jeep into the door, knocking it down.
Darien: There you go!
* Ticia goes inside her house to take a nap
* Issachar sings: "Oooo-iiiiii....bibibibibibibi-iiiiii....bibibibibi....iiiiii-ayahayahay-ayah!!!!"
* eric gives Issachar a Grammy
Faux_Pas: What an exciting adventure that was.
* Faux_Pas takes Ritalin
Darien: Well, that was a fun expedition. I hope Issachar and Mousie will write us from the goldless city of gold when they get a chance.
* Issachar writes to Darien from the casbah, not the goldless city of gold.
* Issachar makes the silly mistake of sending his message to Darien via RinkMail. ;-)
* Faux_Pas notices that the casbah was right next door to Ticia's house.
Faux_Pas: What an odd coincidence.
Darien: Anyhow, that was fun, but it's about time for Darien to be moving on.
Issachar: Aww. Bye Darien! That was some incredible driving you did!
* Darien bows.
Darien: Thank you, Iss.
* Darien Jeeps off into the background...
Darien has left.
eric: hey! he took my wallet!
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