This chat session was unchecked chaos. Just absolutely bonkers.
Darien: Hey! Elijah! LookQuixote!
* Darien typed that in the middle of something else, obviously!
BurgerKing: Don Quixote!
Darien: BK: Sorry, I called it first!
RinkChat: User Darien has been labeled 'Don L33txote' by Darien.
* Mia /Earnest kicks famous Earnest in the head
* Mia faces famous!
RinkChat: User Nyperold has been labeled 'Toucan Sam' by Nyperold.
ShadowClerk: TOUCAN SAM!!!!
* Darien vapourizes BurgerKing.
Rivikah: I wanna be the cat
Sam: DON QUIXOTE FIGHT!!!!!!! A duel to the death! But stay in character!
* BurgerKing challenges Darien. "Vile impostor!"
* eric chooses to be Tweedle Dee. Can eric be Tweedle Dee?
* Balanthalus is Grendel
RinkChat: User Balanthalus has been labeled 'Grendel' by Balanthalus.
Sam: GRENDEL FIGHT!!!! Tear each other's arms off!
RinkChat: User Nyperold has been labeled 'Bogart' by Nyperold.
ShadowClerk: Follow your nose!
Darien: Aah! Have at thee, foul sorceror!
* famous Earnest beats up Mia Earnest!!
* Mia /Earnest survives
* eric takes that as a yes
RinkChat: User eric has been labeled 'Tweedle Dee' by eric.
* Darien Quixote charges, lance poised and ready.
* BurgerKing is a Quixote then...
RinkChat: User BurgerKing has been labeled 'a Quixote' by BurgerKing.
* Balanthalus eats BurgerKing, thus becoming the rightful Grendel
RinkChat: User ShadowClerk has been labeled 'Toucan Sam!' by ShadowClerk.
Nyperold: Here's lookin' at you, kid!
RinkChat: User Sakura has been labeled 'Cinderella' by Sakura.
RinkChat: User Rivikah has been labeled 'Cat in the Hat' by Rivikah.
Darien: What is that? A DRAGON!
* Darien Quixote charges Toucan Sam.
* famous Earnest holds her bleeding head and eats bacon in front of the former Babe. :)
eric: If you think it's a giant, you ought to fight it. Contrariwise, if you think it's a windmill, you ought to pay to take the little tour inside. That's logic, you know.
* ShadowClerk is Toucan Sam. * Toucan Sam bites Sam!
* Mia Earnest really isn't Earnest. She is really his friend, Algernon.
RinkChat: User Mia has been labeled 'Algernon/Earnest' by Mia.
* Kiki poings everyone to death
* Nyperold survives the poinging.
* Sam Toucan Bates force-feeds ShadowClerk thirty five skillion pounds of cereal, exploding him into tiny bits of ShadowClerk, strewn all over the place.
* Darien Quixote approaches the beautiful Cinderella.
* Sam Bates stabs Humphrey Bogart to death.
* eric gets ready for battle after finding his spoilt rattle
Darien: Fair Princess, let me be your knight for time eternal. I shall serve thee faithfully until in combat I am sent from this life.
Sakura: Princess? Where? *looks around* Who, me?
Darien: Cinderella: Aye, lass, thee. Fair light in the eastern sky.
Sakura: Oh, it IS me? I don't know what to say...
BurgerKing: Darien Quixote: Away from her, you fiend!
* Darien Quixote draws his sword against... umm... whomever BurgerKing is right now.
BurgerKing: Your vile advances sully this maiden's honor.
* Kiki missed the change roles part and sticks with her Snow Queen Ferret of Joy role
* Kiki poings everyone to death some more
* Nyperold survives.
* Balanthalus /Grendel proceeds to gnaw on Darien Quixote
* Darien whilrs about, and offers Grendel a role as squire.
* Balanthalus /Grendel grunts and eats Quixote's left arm
* eric recites some poetry
* Mia /Earnest/Algernon slaps famous/Earnest around with a wet duck.
eric: Sam was trying to make archives, trying with all his might. He did his very best to make the archives nice and bright. And this was odd because it was the second time this night.
* Sam Bates is now...Sam Kruegger!
* Sam Kruegger stabs Humphrey Bogart AGAIN. "I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTY! AND YOUR LITTLE SOUL, TOO!"
* Kiki poings on sam Kruegger
* Nyperold still survives.
Stephen has entered.
Stephen: Hey folks
Darien: Stephen! You get to be Tinkerbell!
Stephen: Oooh! Captain Kirk!
RinkChat: User Stephen has been labeled 'Kirk' by Stephen.
* eric kills Nyperold for stealing his surviving joke.
* Nyperold survives.
* famous Earnest tells Mia/Earnest/Algernon that he was never his friend! Vern was!
Stephen: All right...men. We must combat...this evil...presence
BurgerKing: I am the REAL Don Quixote!
Darien: The HFIL thou art, foul doppelganger! If thou'rt I, where is thy middle English?
* Kiki poings on Nyperold until he's DEAD!!!! DEAD DEAD DEAD HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
* ShadowClerk / Toucan Sam bites Captain Kirk, and tells him to follow his nose.
* Stephen Kirk sets his phaser on kill
* Mia /Earnest/Algernon laughs at famous's silly remark.
* Balanthalus /Grendel eats Kirk's red-shirt crewman
eric: Captain Kirk: I see the evil presence! 'Tis the monstrous crow!
* eric runs away
* Mia /Earnest/Algernon breaks character and giggles everyone to death.
Sakura: Pippi Long stocking
famous: Long John Silver!
* eric plays the giant peach
* BurgerKing is the Lassie
RinkChat: User Darien has been labeled 'L33t Pimpernel' by Darien.
RinkChat: User Stephen has been labeled 'Lassie' by Stephen.
RinkChat: User eric has been labeled 'Giant Peach' by eric.
RinkChat: User Mia has been labeled 'Pippi Longsock' by Mia.
Darien: They seek me here,
* Sam will be Mrs. Brady!
Darien: They seek me there.
* famous John Silver slashes SC John Silver with his sword!
Darien: Those Frenchies seek me... everywhere.
* Stephen Lassie runs off to the local police and starts barking
* Nyperold stays Bogart
Darien: Am I in Heaven?
* Balanthalus is the Toxic Avenger
Kiki: Saaam can i keep my role?
Darien: Or am I in HFIL?
* Mia gasps at Darien's choice of words.
Darien: That L33t, elusive, pimpernel.
* eric grows
* ShadowClerk throws an office building at famous!
* BurgerKing is Toxie, he guesses.
Stephen: Arf arf!
RinkChat: User Balanthalus has been labeled 'Toxic Avenger' by Balanthalus.
* ShadowClerk crushes famous, and takes the role as Silver!
* Sam reconsiders. He'll be Monty Roberts!
* Sam whispers to a horse.
RinkChat: User Sakura has been labeled 'Pippi' by Sakura.
* Stephen Lassie nips Pimpernel
* eric becomes home to several disgusting cases of vermin
* famous John Silver eats some of her fish and chips. :)
* BurgerKing is ugly.
RinkChat: User BurgerKing has been labeled 'Toxie' by BurgerKing.
Darien: Ack! You bit my crevat!
* Mia /Pippi says, "Sorry" to Sakura and wips her with her braids.
* Kiki poings
ShadowClerk: May those chips burn your throat, and the fish be rotten and sour!
* Nyperold eats the 2 piece fish & more.
* Stephen Lassie tries to drag Pimpernel to the well to rescue Timmy
Stephen: Arf! Arf arf arf!
* Kiki jumps onto Stephen's back and hangs on
* eric rolls away and crushes a car
Bo has entered.
* Sam whispers to Bo. Bo, you're a horse. The one from Dudley Do-Right.
* eric bleeds (peach juice) excessively
* BurgerKing /Toxie has no idea what else the Toxic Avenger can do...
famous: You shall walk off the plank SC John Silver!
Darien: What's that, Lassie? Dave fell down the well?
* Darien disappears into the shadows and changes identities, to rescue Dave from the well *in secret...*
Sam: No! The Toxic Avenger fell down a well!
* Stephen Lassie takes Kiki and Pimpernel to the well
* Mia /Pippi eats eric, getting peach juice all down her mouth and shirt.
* Stephen Lassie builds a cold fusion reactor
* Sakura thinks that she's created a monster... A simple suggestion...
Sam: HANG ON, TOXIE! WE'LL SAVE YOU!
* Sam whispers to Bo.
* Darien sneaks into the well through random secret tunnels...
* Kiki poings down the well and gets stuck
* BurgerKing /Toxie melts a little in the well.
* Stephen / Lassie barks a bit for show
* eric frowns
* eric has been EATEN and has no ROLE
* famous ROLES eric off the plank
* Nyperold throws Kiki a Pixy stix.
* Darien rescues the real Toxie and leaves a fake behind to fool the French Government...
* Stephen / Lassie goes back to beating Deep Blue at chess
* eric becomes Kapitän Haken again
* Kiki eats the pixy stick and goes zooming out of the well
* Nyperold digs a bunker
* Bo watches nicely.
* Sam also bleeds.
eric: Ich bin wieder Kapitän. Mahahahahaha!
* Sakura lets Mia keep the role and chooses to stay out of this round.
* Mia /Pippi refuses to accept Sakura/Pippi's declaration to stay out of this. Mia/Pippi pulls Sakura/Pippi's braids.
* Sakura INSISTS on keeping out of this! She has homework to do during this break.
* Mia /Pippi INSISTS on Sakura acting this out...it was Sakura's idea after all.... ;-)
* Darien leads Toxie out of the well through an elaborate network of secret tunnels that nobody else knows about and dumps him on the border.
BurgerKing: Thank you, Pimpernel... I can melt in the sunlight, now...
* BurgerKing / Toxie melts a little in the sun.
* ShadowClerk shoots famous with his ray gun
* famous /LJS tells SC/LJS that he has no ray gun. Only a sword, which I've taken!! Mwhahahahah
* Stephen / Lassie wishes humans weren't so dumb.
* eric überlebt
* Darien has to go.
BurgerKing: Glub-Blye, Dariesn
Darien: But first...
* Darien reverts to Willy Loman.
* Darien whines a lot about his son's behaviour.
Darien: Hey! The car! If I kill myself, err... umm... I won't have to listen to me whine anymore!
* Darien Loman dies.
Darien has left.
* Stephen / Lassie runs after a rabbit
* BurgerKing / Toxie's eye finally falls all the way out.
* Stephen is now Hitler
* Balanthalus is Gollum
famous: Fat Albert!
RinkChat: User Stephen has been labeled 'Hitler' by Stephen.
* BurgerKing is Friar Tuck
RinkChat: User Balanthalus has been labeled 'Gollum' by Balanthalus.
Nyperold: I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!
Mia: Okay...I want to be....um....
RinkChat: User BurgerKing has been labeled 'Friar Tuck' by BurgerKing.
* Stephen / Hitler dons a bad mustache and an even worse German accent
* Sam : In an old house in RINKCHAT all covered with wines, lived twelve drunk Sams in two crooked lines!
* Sam : They /me'd the room at half nine past, in drunk two crooked, in rain or good weather.
Sakura: Gah! Kiki, Bo, and me fighting for the same part...
* Balanthalus looks for his ring
* famous / Fat Albert Says Hey! Hey! Hey!
Stephen: Ach! Dey haf finally revived mein brain!
Stephen: Now it iz time to invade POLAND!
* Stephen / Hitler invades Poland
* eric is still Kapitän Haken, and helps Hitler
Mia: ....um....I can't decide.
* BurgerKing / Friar Tuck drinks wine.
* Kiki /Madeline runs through Paris looking for her hat
* Nyperold thinks Kate might be a good role...
Stephen: Vell, zat vent vell. Now ve vill invade Russia in ze dead of vinter! Sig Heil!
* Sam is Fat Albert, TOO. Sam bonks famous over with his excessive flab.
Sam: HEY HEY HEY!!!!!! (bowls everybody over)
* Balanthalus /Gollum becomes invisible and taunts Hitler
Kiki: kate kate kate kate kate!
* BurgerKing brings along some of Robin's Merry Men to flank the Germans.
* Mia can't decide because Fat Sam Albert squished her to death....
* Stephen / Hitler beats up on on Madeline. Stupid Frenchies!
* Nyperold continues to speak for the trees. Since he doesn't speak plant, he can't do it with ease.
Kiki: kate kate kate kate kate kate kate kate kate!!!!!
* Sam Bates slashes Fat Albert! But there's too much! It's taking TOO LONG!
eric: Jawohl! Ah-ee vont toblow op Amerikons. Cahn ve do dot?
Stephen: Herr Haken, ja, das ist gut!
BurgerKing: Eat medieval warfare, Hitler!
* famous / Fat Albert gets Mush Mouth to help her smash Sam /Fat Albert
* Stephen / Hitler sends out a regiment of Panzers to deal mit BurgerKing
RinkChat: User Mia has been labeled 'crushed' by Mia.
* eric screams
BurgerKing: You deal with a man of the cloth, Hitler.
* Nyperold thinks that the trees do not like this war. The trees get all damaged, like they have before.
* Stephen / Hitler invades France too. He wonders which will take more time: for an egg to cook or for France to surrender
* eric goes along as Hitler's lackey
eric: Löök aut! It's Herr Davey! He vill force os to correct our accents! Voch out!
* Stephen / Hitler has his secret police come and nab BK in the middle of the night
* BurgerKing / Tuck is too fat to haul away!
* Nyperold catches the pixie.
* Sam the Grinch waits for Nyperold to make his wishes, so he can STEAL THEM AWAY.
Nyperold: I wish for Cuoep to become the language of RinkChat...
* Stephen / Hitler wonders whether or not the pixie is French
* Stephen / Hitler wonders if he can invade Faerie
* Stephen / Hitler declares war on Faerie, at the very least
Balanthalus: Hitler . . . I will tell you a riddle, yes? If you get it right I give you a present. If wrong, you give me Hungary.
Balanthalus: What is black and white and red all over?
Stephen: I do not know. Vat iz it?
Balanthalus: Sstupid German. You don't know . . that meansss I get Hungary . . . Hissss
Stephen: Never! You vill die!!
* Balanthalus is invisible
* BurgerKing / Tuck is Hungary.
Stephen: Heute die welt! Morgen das sonnensystem!
* BurgerKing / Tuck steals Turkey, an gnaws on it.
Stephen: Never! Turkey vill be mein!
* Stephen / Hitler starts trying to steal it from BK
* BurgerKing /Tuck glares at Hitler... don't get between him and his Turkey. He licks Greece.
eric: Wilkommen in Deutschland! Jetzt, wir sind ein nazische Land. Morgen wir sind nicht. Kommt morgen.
Nyperold: I wish for 100 magic saws...
Sam: Yes! You can be the TELEMARKETER! Call Hitler up!
RinkChat: User Mia has been labeled 'Telemarketer' by Mia.
* Mia /telemarketer calls Hitler up.
* Stephen / Hitler gets annoyed.
Stephen: Can't you zee zat I am eating mein dinner!?
Stephen: Give me your name so zat ve can kill you and your famil.... I mean, so zat ve can give you a big prize.
Nyperold: I wish for 10 Teleporters...
Mia: We are building a $220 Million dollar resort. We have great prices; you can stay at our resort for FREE....
Mia: ...for a small price that is. G
Mia: Good for one hour only.
Stephen: I am zie fuhrer! I can stay anywhere for FREE!!! You vill DIE!!!
Mia: I would like to point out that while you may be trying to take over the world, we have a great resort you can stay at for FREE while you are conquering your fellow man.
Stephen: Tell me more. I am very interezted in zis rezort. When I was alive, ve did not have such luxuries
* BurgerKing /Tuck listens in, and wonders if the resort has a buffet...
Mia: And for only one hour extra, you can get a great deal of only $38!!!
Nyperold: and I wish for 10000 HP.
Stephen: Das ist sehr gut! Can you send me some more information? Like vere it iz so I can invade it?
Mia: This resort has the best in room service. For only $40 extra, we will include a light breakfast of bread and water. If you'll just give me your name and address, I can verify your stay right now!
Stephen: Send it to "Die Fuhrer, c/o Germany"
Stephen: Or is it der fuhrer? I can never remember zese tings.
* BurgerKing wonders if Hitler's relationship with Germany would be better describer as "Germany c/o Die Furher"...
Mia: That would be great. I'll just reserve you a place for...what hour would you like this?
Stephen: I am sorry, I do not do zese tings over ze phone. Send me some of your literature
Mia: I am sorry, but we here at our fine resort do not destroy people. Instead, we provide a friendly environment for all who stay here at our fine resort.
* eric vonts to know if ziss telemarketer hass an inshoorence plon
Mia: eric: Of course, we have an insurance plan. For a slight fee, we will pay for any accidents. Of course, you have to PROVE that they aren't accidents, but given our great insurance plan, that shouldn't be hard to do. However, since we have the best resort you will ever stay at, we are confident that your stay will be pleasant and accident-free.
Stephen: But I'm Hitler!
Mia: Ah, so one reservation for Hitler? When will this be?
* Stephen / Hitler hangs up
* Sam Albert grabs a chunk of pooling flab in his hands and slings it at Friar Tuck.
* Sam in the Hat cleans up the mess.
* Balanthalus bites Hitler's finger off
* Stephen / Hitler screams in pain
* Balanthalus spits out the finger. Gollum HATES German food.
Sam: eric, this is your chance: MARY POPPINS!
MaryPoppins has entered.
RinkChat: User MaryPoppins has been labeled 'MaryPoppins' by MaryPoppins.
Sam: Mary Poppins! You'd better go get Hitler to clean up his room. Show him how it can be fun!
Stephen: No! Merry Poppins, she ist sehr evil!
Stephen: She iz a commie! Ve must destroy her!
* Nyperold instructs Sam to play it again.
* Sam plays it again.
Sam: What am I playing?
Nyperold: "As Time Goes By," of course.
MaryPoppins: a spoonful of poison
MaryPoppins: He knows that he just cannot win. He decides to do himself in. He knows...a song...will move the job along...Oh, a spoonful of poison makes the mystery so great...
Sam: Camptown Races, sing this song, doo dahhhh, doo dahhhh.
MaryPoppins: The Führer building up his nest has very little time to rest while battling Western Democracy
* BurgerKing passes out.
* Stephen is Dirty Harry
* BurgerKing is Curious george
* Balanthalus is Maxwell Smart
Nyperold: You must remember this...
* Mia the Telemarketer becomes She Who Must Be Obeyed.
* Balanthalus Smart
Nyperold: ...a kiss is still a kiss..
* Stephen / Dirty Harry shoots the phone
RinkChat: User Mia has been labeled 'SHE' by Mia.
Nyperold: ...a sigh is just a sigh...
RinkChat: User Stephen has been labeled 'Dirty Harry' by Stephen.
RinkChat: User BurgerKing has been labeled 'Curious George' by BurgerKing.
* Stephen looks sullen
Nyperold: ...the fundamental something something as time goes by...
* Stephen squints and looks upset
RinkChat: User Balanthalus has been labeled 'Maxwell Smart' by Balanthalus.
Nyperold: ...and when two lovers woo...
* eric is Pennybags
* BurgerKing looks around for the Man in the Yellow Hat...
Nyperold: ...they still say, "I love you,"...
Mia: I am SHE Who Must Be Obeyed. Do the funky Chicken Dance while I do random things to you!
* Stephen / Dirty Harry knocks famous to the floor and points his gun at her
Nyperold: ...on that you can rely...
Stephen: All right punk, you better start spilling the beans. Where's the kidnapper at?
* BurgerKing looks into the barrel of the gun...
Nyperold: ...the world will always welcome lovers...
* Balanthalus Smart punches DH and saves famous
* Stephen / Dirty Harry, annoyed with famous' lack of co-operation, picks her up by the shirt collar and throws her around a bit
Nyperold: ...as time goes byyyyyy...
* Nyperold is finished.
RinkChat: User eric has been labeled 'Rich Uncle Penny' by eric.
* famous has returned as Barney! and sings Dirty Stephen to death!
* Stephen / Dirty Harry starts firing shots wildly. Dirty Harry doesn't like happy music
* famous / Barney bleeds purple!
* eric picks up Dirty Harry and sends him directly to jail
* MaryPoppins gives famous magic medicine, and her bleeding is all done now
* Balanthalus Smart uses his bullet-proof clown costume
* Mia /SHE ties Curious George to her horse and make him Cross Alone.
* BurgerKing wonders what Crossing Alone is. It could be fun.
* Mia /SHE really has no idea what Crossing Alone is....SHE thinks that it is some sort of lonely way to die.
eric: Go directly to jail! Do not pass Go! Do not collect two hundred dollars!
* Balanthalus Smart blows himself up
Balanthalus has left.
* MaryPoppins frowns and searches in her magic carpetbag
* BurgerKing unties the rope, which wraps itself around one of the horse's legs. The horse, panicked runs over SHE. Oh the mischief!
* MaryPoppins pulls out a rather large weapon
* Nyperold watches as two thugs *burst* out of crates right in front of She.
* MaryPoppins blasts eric into oblivion
* eric bleeds excessively, but survives
* Mia /SHE builds her defenses twelve feet from the enemy's gates. "They will not get past me! I am the main character, and even if this doesn't make any sense, I will still win, because that is what main characters do!" SHE, a a powerless Goddess, survives the trampling.
Marvin has entered.
Marvin: Hey everyone.
Marvin: Oh great, Mary Poppins.
Marvin: So, we meet for the first time for the last time.
* Marvin hands Mary a taco.
* MaryPoppins turns the gruesome weapon on herself and pulls the lever
* MaryPoppins is blown into a thousand tiny pieces and does not survive
MaryPoppins has left.
Marvin: Well, there went a perfectly good taco.
Marvin: So, err, umm, what exactly is going on here?
* Mia /SHE struggles with the two thugs, even though she knows she will win, being the main character and all, and beats the two thugs up. SHE leans against a big crate.
* BurgerKing / George bursts out of the crate.
* Mia /SHE struggles with the Curious Frankenstein Monster that just popped out of the crate and deflates his head somehow (don't worry, she bites his neck).
* BurgerKing /Curious Frankenstein really wishes the Man in the Yellow Hat would arrive and get him out of this mess, like he always does.
* Mia /SHE runs around in skimpy clothing, falling in love randomly because some random hag told her that she would.
* Sam Spade leans back in his chair as smoke curls up into the gloom above. Mia walks in, a maze of curves and mystery.
* Sam Spade: And she had a mystery for me. Her boyfriend, some thug of a gambler, had turned up missing. I intended to turn up missing myself.
* Mia /SHE : Spade, you can't fool me.
* eric knows how to whistle!
* eric puts his lips together and blows
* BurgerKing is rescues by the Man in the Yellow Hat, who kills and stuffs him.
Sam: Ok, that was a GREAT play everyone. We just need to write about twelve thousand different letters to get permission to produce it, but after that, we're all set. Except...we need an ending. Happy or sad? Either ride off in the sunset or die, your choice.
* Sam dies off into the sunset.
* Nyperold rides off into the dye.
* eric had about four different characters, and kills them all off except for the German Guy, who escapes in a submarine, allowing for a long string of inane sequels
* Nyperold is now dark blue.
* Mia /SHE stares after Sam as he dies off into the sunset. That was the man she hardly said two words to, but somehow, there is a love story here....
* famous / Fat Albert rolls over all the remaining characters, and suffers a heart attack to end it all. Finally.