Archives: Bloody Mayhem At Sakura's House
12/22/00
Do not try to cheer Sakura up. Just don't.
* Grishny puts a basket over his head and a lightbulb in his mouth and stands stock-still holding a bead-chain dangling in his hand, trying to get Sakura to laugh.
Sakura: Aa, don't worry about it.
Grishny: I'm a lamp! I'm a lamp! Loook at me!
* Sakura raises an eyebrow at Grish.
Grishny: Sakura does not find me amusing?
Grishny: But how can that be?
* Grishny plays "The General Bogey March" on the kazoo with his nose, trying to get Sakura to laugh.
Grishny: Look at this! This is funny stuff right here!
* Sakura is given a ØØØ°°°‰ by Grishny.
* Ayako tries to figure out what that is.
Grishny: It's a red choo choo. I think.
Grishny: It goes around your Christmas tree on a little track.
Grishny: And it goes Choooooo-Choooooooo!
Grishny: And it belches thick black smoke into your living room, making your eyes water and burn.
Grishny: It must be defective. Send it back to the manufacturer.
Grishny: It's got a no-money-back guarantee!
Grishny: Good for 90 minutes!
Grishny: I think we'd better report them to the Better Business Bureau.
Grishny: You still have the proof-of-purchase, don't you?
Grishny: No, wait, it was a gift. I have that.
* Grishny searches through his pockets for the proof-of-purchase.
Grishny: Um, it's not there. I don't have it.
* Grishny searches through his files for the POP
Grishny: No, not there either. Where could that blasted thing be?
* Grishny searches through his refrigerator for the POP
Grishny: Ah! There it is! Mountain Dew, my favorite!
* Grishny chugs the pop.
Grishny: Chug-a-lug-lug...
Grishny: Ahhhhh. So refreshing!
* Grishny belches loudly.
Grishny: Oh! Excuse me, please!
* Mia thinks Grishny is bonkers.
Grishny: Now, where were we?
* Grishny walks into Sakura's living room and his eyes are stung and burned by a cloud of thick black smoke that seems to be emanating from the Christmas tree area...
Grishny: Oh no! Your tree's on fire!
* Grishny searches frantically through the smoke filled house for something to douse the fire with!
* Mia bonks Grishny on the head to see if that will help...
Grishny: Ouch! Bonked my head on something...can't see!
* Ayako hands Grishny a lemon-scented towelette.
Grishny: Sakura! Sakura! Where are you? Where do you keep your fire extinguisher???
* Grishny falls down a flight of stairs as he stumbled through the smoke-filled house.
* Sakura hands Grishny a fire extinguisher.
* Grishny somehow makes his way back to the living room and sprays the foam wildly in all directions!!!
* The fire has been put out by Grishny.
* Ayako bandages Grishny's bruises and somehow covers both eyes with the bandage.
Grishny: Whew! >cough< I >gasp< almost burned >wheeze< Sakura's house down!
Grishny: Hey! I can't see!
* Grishny , unable to see anything, wanders out of Sakura's blackened home and stumbles out into the street into the path of an oncoming VW bus...
* Sakura surveys the smoking ruins of the room.
Sakura: Grish...
* Grishny screams!
* Sakura saves Grish from the VW bus.
Grishny: Aah!
Sakura: I don't want it to kill you... I'm going to do it myself!
* Grishny 's big toe has been smooshed by the VW bus! Ouchie!
Sakura: Hmph.
* Grishny hops up and down on one foot!
Grishny: Medic! I need a medic!
* Sakura amputates Grish's foot.
Sakura: Hm. I do believe I forgot the anesthetic...
* Grishny yells at Sakura.
Grishny: What are you doing???
Sakura: Oops.
Grishny: Stop!
Grishny: I need that!
Grishny: $%$@#$%@#$@#$%
Mia: Grishny! Such LANGUAGE!
Mia: Sakura: You used rusty scissors to amputate?
Sakura: I used a saw. Perhaps rusty scissors would've been better.
* Grishny tries to kick Sakura with his bloody foot-stump
Grishny: I'll tear your head off! I'll rip you apart with my bare hands! I'll--
Mia: Grishny...you're getting blood all over the place. Stop that, please.
* Mia shakes her head....
* Grishny grabs the discarded saw and swings wildly at Sakura, but misses.
* Sakura "accidentally" removes Grish's tonsils. I meant to take the bandage off your eyes. My aim is worse than I thought.
Grishny: Gugggg!!!!
* Sakura hits Grish over the head.
* Grishny falls down again
* Sakura hopes it was hard enough to knock him out.
* Mia hopes so, too.
Grishny: Coward! Infidel! Wretched creature of the dark! I'll spatter the premises with your entrails!
Sakura: Kinda hard when you're on one foot and have head trauma...
Sakura: And are probably bleeding freely enough to go into shock soon...
Grishny: 'Tis but a flesh wound!
* Mia ties Grishny up.
* Grishny struggles against his bonds
* Sakura cracks her knuckles.
* Mia sighs and glances at Sakura.
Sakura: What shall I do with you now...?
* Grishny rolls rapidly into Sakura, knocking her down!
Sakura: HEY!
Grishny: Ha! Gotcha, you farphingrubbat!
Mia: Grishny! Hold still!
Sakura: You got blood all over my clothes!
* Sakura tackles Grishny.
* Mia gags Grishny.
* Grishny rolls into Mia, knocking her over as well
* Mia falls down.
* Sakura ties him to a tree.
* Ayako is slightly afraid of Sakura.
* Grishny struggles against his bonds
Grishny: mmmmmph!
Mia: You tied him to the Christmas tree....
Sakura: Wait a sec... "farphingrubbat"?
* Grishny breaks the ropes around his feet and rams Sakura with the tree on his back
* Sakura notes that Grish is stronger than she thought.
* Mia sits on Grishny in hopes of keeping him still.
* Grishny swings around and slams into Mia with the tree
* Mia is dazed.
* Mia sees stars!
* Grishny chucks Mia into the air
* Mia flies through the air.
* Sakura swings at Grish's head.
* Grishny shakes furiously, getting dead pine needles all over the blackened carpet in the process
* Sakura is reminded of what Grish did to her house...
Sakura: You are SO dead.
* Mia crashes into the walls and falls against a table with a candle on it. The candle falls to the floor, starting a fire.
Sakura: AIEEE!!!
* Grishny stumbles and lands on his back on the flaming carpet...
* Mia blinks, not seeming to be able to see clearly.
* Sakura ignores Grish and puts out the fire.
* Sakura glares at Mia. Good thing I caught it...
* The tree that is tied to Grishny's back has been caught on fire by Grishny.
* Grishny screams through his gag!
Grishny: nnnnngggggghhh!!!!!
* Sakura lets Grish and his tree burn.
* Grishny runs blindly through the house, trying to locate water to put out the tree on his back
Sakura: Oh, no.
* Various locations throughout Sakura's house have been set on fire by Grishny.
* Grishny finds the bathroom and frantically turns on the water to the tub...
* Sakura runs after Grish and puts out the fires throughout the house.
* Grishny sits in the tub with the flaming tree on his back and waiting for the water to fill the tub and put it out! Hurry hurry hurry!!!!
* Sakura puts out all but one, at which point the fire extinguisher is empty.
* Mia dizzily gets up off the burning floor.
Sakura: Help!
* Ayako hands Sakura the lemon-scented towelette.
* Sakura looks at Ayako, at the towelette, and back at Ayako.
* Ayako shrugs.
* The fire on Grishny's back has been doused by the water which was turned on by Grishny.
* Grishny stands up. He is free from his bonds, which have all been burned away, even the gag. Of course, quite a bit of his epidermis has been burned away too...
* Sakura throws the towelette on the flames, which die immediately. Okay...
Grishny: Oooh, that smarts!
Ayako: ...It worked?
* Sakura notes that the towelette is still whole, too. o.O;
* Mia comes walking into the bathroom, rubbing her head...
* Grishny , nosy as he is, opens Sakura's medicine cabinet, hoping to find some burn salve.
Sakura: GET OUT OF THERE!
* Mia has been hit in the face by the swinging medicine cabinet door by Grishny.
* Mia is knocked to the floor.
* Grishny notices some, ah...personal items...
* Sakura tackles Grish. Don't go poking around in there!
* Grishny falls to the floor in a tangled heap.
* Sakura carefully closes and locks the cabinet door.
Sakura: You have no idea of what I keep in that cabinet...
Grishny: Heh heh heh...yes I dooooo!
* Grishny snickers
* Sakura stands and STOMPS on Grishny's nose.
Grishny: Ouch! Oh, so that's how you are.
Sakura: Yeah.
Sakura: You poke around where you're not supposed to, and you pay the price.
* Grishny crouches by Mia and whispers in her ear. "Guess what Sakura has in her medicine cabinet..."
* Grishny tells Mia.
* Mia blinks at Grishny and smiles vaguely.
* Grishny and Mia share a laugh at Sakura's expense.
* Sakura KICKS Grishny's jaw!
* Grishny bites Sakura's foot!
Sakura: YOWCH!
* Grishny bites so hard, he now has a mouthful of toes! Yick!
* Grishny spits out Sakura's toes along with pieces of her shoe
* Sakura regrows her toes.
* Ayako throws a ferret with a shiny phaser gun into the bathroom and runs.
* Sakura also runs and locks the door behind her.
* Grishny grabs the phaser from the ferret. Then he grabs the ferret and sticks it in Sakura's pocket just before she runs out the door.
* Mia is locked in the bathroom with a big ORC!!!
* Sakura locks it, latches it, and puts various other protections on it.
Mia: And a FERRET!
Sakura: How cute!
* Sakura frees the ferret.
Sakura: Good luck getting out, Grishny!
* Grishny phasers a big hole in the door.
Grishny: You forgot I had the phaser!
* Mia stands up dizzily.
* Ayako shows Sakura the remote control for the phaser.
* Sakura grumbles.
* Grishny sets the phaser on overload and hides it somewhere.
* Sakura grabs the remote and shuts off the phaser.
Grishny: Whoops. Foiled again!
* Mia flushes the toilet.
* Sakura sets up Grishny-traps throughout the house.
Nyperold has entered.
* Grishny slams into Nyperold on his way out of Sakura's burned-out house
* Mia falls down as Grishny runs into Nyperold, who runs into her.
* Grishny foolishly stops at the fridge for a snack on his way out of the house and gets his finger caught in a trap!
Sakura: Hahaha!
Grishny: @#@^^!!#$@#$&%$%@#!!!!
* Mia gets up and follows Grishny into the kitchen.
* Sakura flips a switch on the kitchen wall.
* Grishny panics and runs for the back door, setting off many more traps on his way out!
* Sakura watches a cage fall on Grishny.
* Grishny escapes!
* Mia is caught by the falling cage.
* Sakura electrifies the bars.
Sakura: Oops. Sorry, Mia.
* Ayako wonders how Grishny is functioning as normal with only one foot.
* Mia sighs. She touches the bars. ZAAAAAP!!!! The power goes out.
* Sakura TACKLES Grish (again)!
* Grishny , covered with traps but still able to run, gets away!
Grishny: Next time, Sakura! I'll get you...next tiiiiime!
* Sakura ties him up again.
* Grishny vanishes in a POOF of smoke!
Grishny has left.
Sakura: You may get me next time, but I'll-- Darn! He got away!
* Sakura WILL get Grishny next time... Count on it.
The next day....
Grishny has entered.
* Sakura KILLS Grishny!
Sakura: Oh, and hello.
* Grishny is dead
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Grishny has left.
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