Archives: A Flash In the Eye
Here's another one of Dave's Dave Moments.
* Dave wonders if he'll ever be able to see out of his right eye again...
ShadowClerk: what happened?
Dave: Well, today I got a new camera--I bought a polaroid to take some pictures of myself.
Dave: Well, just now I decided I was going to put the flash right up to my eye and set it off, just for fun.
Dave: Now I can't see out of my right eye.
Dave: Probably not the brightest idea I've ever had, pun intended.
Rhiannon: Don't do that.
Rhiannon: My boyfriend is a photographer, I know these things.
Dave: Way too late, my friend.
Rhiannon: I knew it was too late. That was the irony.
Dave: I'll just have to wait to see if it clears up. Everything is all red right now.
Brunnen_G: You should have at least taken a *photo*, Dave. At least then you'd have a closeup photo of your own eye to show for it.
Dave: No, it would have been a photo of my forehead or something. I had the *flash* RIGHT UP TO MY EYE, not the lens.
Dave: Actually, you know what? I think I've done this *before*.
Dave: You'd think I'd learn.
Dave: Too bad Sam isn't here to laugh at my pain.
Dave: Or at least, too bad he's not paying attention.
Sam: LOL LOL LOL
Sam: Dave: I was busy reading it to Leen, who was moaning with puzzlement and exasperation.
* Brunnen_G wasn't puzzled or exasperated, just laughing hysterically.
Sam: Yeah, that was my reaction.
Dave: Glad I could give you two a good laugh. Too bad I may have permanently damaged my eye in the process. Dammit, everything is all red still.
Sam: It should come back. I've shown flashlights right into my eye before. Not quite as bad, but worse than you'd think.
Dave: Yeah, I've done that before too. What the heck is it about me that makes me feel like doing stuff like that would be a good idea??
Dave: Somebody please stop me if you ever see me putting a camera up to my eye again. Man, that actually *hurt* it was so bright.
Sam: It's not even Stupid Day!
Dave: Cool. Things are starting to return to normal. Either that, my brain is adjusting to the world being all red.
Brunnen_G: The world really *is* all red. Your vision must have been weird in some way. Looks like that flash cured one eye, at least. You should do the same to the other eye now.
ShadowClerk: You really shouldn't do that. Your eyesight will come back, but it will be awhile. If you have bad eyesight already or a damaged immune system, be prepared to wait.
Dave: I don't plan on doing it again. Not anytime soon, anyway. That physically *hurt*. The flashbulb was *hot*, and I had my eye *right on it*. Plus, the light was so bright, I think I pulled my iris muscle when my pupil contracted. OUCH.
ShadowClerk: Ouch. Right to your eyeball?
Dave: Yup. Probably less than half an inch from actually touching.
* Sam is too tired to do anything but crack up.
Dave: I have *no* idea why I thought that would be a fun thing to do.
* Brunnen_G notices Dave has ignored my good advice about fixing his vision
Dave: I'm not *that* stupid. Yet.
Marvin: You mean your getting stupider?
Dave: Apparently. I don't think I would have put a camera flash up to my eye like that yesterday.
Dave: I just saw that camera sitting there, and said "Hey, why dont I stick my eye RIGHT ON the flashbulb and set it off! I bet that would RULE!"
Brunnen_G: Heh. There is now, at least, no doubt at all that Dave is a guy. Only a guy would do something like that. You rule, Dave. :-)
Marvin: But the question is: Will you learn from your mistake, or will we be talking about this tomorrow too?
Dave: I won't make the same mistake twice. I'll flash the other eye next time.
Marvin: What happens when you runs out of eyes? You going to eat the bulb?
Dave: I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
* Dave 's right eye hurts, too. It feels like he flashed a camera bulb RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT. Wait, he did.
Dave: I don't think I've ever actually personally met a woman who liked SF movies or books.
Brunnen_G: Really? Maybe there's more in NZ or something.
Dave: If that's the case, export a few my way, will you? Cute ones, preferably.
Brunnen_G: LOL Dave. How will you be able to tell they're cute? You just nuked one of your eyeballs.
Dave: I've still got one good eye. I can tell.
Marvin: Wear a patch and pretend you're a pirate.
Dave: Arr, matey.
ShadowClerk: And Size Doesn't Matter. With only one eye, Dave has no depth perception.
Dave: I can move my head in tight circles like owls do for depth perception.
Brunnen_G: *LOL* Is that what owls do?
* Brunnen_G cracks up, picturing Dave, with an eye patch, moving his head in tight circles like an owl, trying to pick up women.
Brunnen_G: You never know until you try, of course.
Dave: Yeah. Well, I think it's owls, anyway. Try it. You basically make big circles with your neck and head (Like when you're doing it to relax, only tighter, and keeping your eyes level).
* Marvin can't tell if that would be a turn-on or off.
Marvin: I'm thinking turn-off.
Brunnen_G: Unless Dave is trying to attract female *owls*, of course.
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