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Is there any topic of conversation more fascinating than candy?

Darien: Oops...
* Darien seems to have blown up the world...
Darien: On closer inspection, it seems I just turned the handle on my jelly bean dispenser too hard and made it spit jelly beans at me.
Stephen: You still have Jelly Bellies?
Darien: Heck yeah.
Stephen: I had thought that between the two you of they'd all be gone...
Darien: We're trying, believe me. But this is like sixty-five pounds of jelly beans, here...
Stephen: Wow. That's a lot of jelly.
Darien: You're telling me.
Darien: It's amazing... there are like four flavours I don't like, and yet every other jelly bean is one of them.
Sam: I got a roll of Smarties here (American ones), and there's FIVE purple ones in a row. What are the odds of THAT? Wow.
Darien: Oh! That reminds me! I have SweetTarts!
Grishny: Speaking of roll candy...does anybody besides me like Neccos?
Mousie: Chocolate Necco wafers are yummy.
Sam: Necco wafers RULE.
Darien: Grishny: Neccos RULE.
Darien: Ahh! I'm turning into Sam!
Sam: Smarties are actually pretty cheap and junky.
Sam: Necco wafers are awesome, though. I don't really like the purple ones, and the white ones are only ok, but the rest are great.
Darien: I love the white ones.
Mousie: I love the white ones, too.
ShadowClerk: Smarties are ok.
Sam: Smarties are dumb! They're like one step away from Pixy Stix, invented by some factory that didn't have enough funding to build a machine to construct complete candy and had to figure out what the heck to do with the mounds of half-manufactured stuff.
Sam: All Smarties are are mashed up Pixy Stick powder. It's the pressboard of candy.
Darien: I like Smarties. :-}
Mousie: And purple CHEWY SWEETTARTS.
Sam: Oh, man, you people need Jaffas and kinder eggs prescribed to you by a doctor.
Darien: I don't like Jaffas very much...
Sam: See?? See?? You're candy impaired! Smarties over Jaffas! What kind of a mutant body snatching vampire ARE you?
Sam: I mean, why bother even EATING Smarties? Just stab yourself in the arm with a Capri Sun straw and pour Pixy Stick powder in! Same effect, but without the unsettlingly rudimentary taste of factory mashed chemicals.
Darien: Mmm. Pressed sugar. :-}
Darien: Who was it who came in talking about the pack of Smarties he had? I believe that would be you.
Sam: Yeah, for the candy basket I have here at work. I don't actually EAT them.
ShadowClerk: Smarties are candy-coated chocolate.
Darien: I'm referring to the pressed-sugar Smarties, not the chocolate ones.
Darien: The chocolate ones are not so great. That's just *not* the right kind of chocolate to be putting inside of a candy shell. It's too creamy - conflcts too much with the solid sugar in the shell. Yuck. :-P
Sam: You are such a hopeless product of cheapo American confections, you don't even realize you're going to hyperhell in a candy basket. It's true. The unredeemed wallow in their unredemption like it's something to be happy about!
Darien: ... You are bizarre, did you know that? You are the *only* candy evangelist I've ever met.
Sam: You better not say you don't like 100 Grand bars.
Mousie: $100,000 RULE.
Sam: If you do, I'll be forced to ban you from all of RinkWorks for all eternity, plus build a Great Wall of New Hampshire and Massachusetts, just so you don't get any of your warped taste bud germs on me.
Darien: 100 Grands are okay. They're not my favourite, but they're okay.
Sam: Ok?? Ok?? All right, that's it, who wants to grab a shovel and help me?
Mousie: I'm in.
Darien: Hah. I'll sneak around through Vermont. :-P
Stephen: Hey, yeah, build a big wall to keep him out! Maybe you can ask the French for help there, Sam!
Sam: Since he said they're ok' instead of 'bad', a big trench will suffice. I'll turn New Hampshire into an island.
Darien: I like Baby Ruths.
* Darien prepares for a sermon on the evils of Baby Ruths.
Mousie: I sent a huge basket of food to the wrong address and they kept it.
Sam: That happened to me once, too. It was a huge package of canned goods. It accidentally got shipped to somewhere in Ethiopia. I had to make a few angry phone calls, but I finally got it shipped back.
Sam: Thing was, I'm almost positive one of the cans was missing. I'm *still* ticked off about that.
Dave: I think you should eat normal jelly beans. You know, the ones with flavors like "Red" and "Purple".
* Ydobon wonders what red tastes like.
* Nyperold chomps down on lipstick to find out. Yuck. :)
Darien: Careful. The candy evangelist will get you for that. He will save your poor beleagured taste buds. :-}
Sam: No way. Those are gross. Jelly Bellies rule.
Darien: Told you. :-}
Sam: I hate those. You are a candy reprobate, and you will fry in bad candy land forever, and I will show no mercy.
Dave: I love those cheap jelly beans that all taste exactly the same once the coating is gone. "Goo" flavored. Those RULE.
Darien: So sayeth the lord of candyland. :-}
Darien: Dave, do you like Dots?
Dave: Haven't had them in awhile, but I think the answer is "yes".
Darien: Yes! Dots RULE!
Brunnen_G: Are dots those appalling bits of coloured plastic stuck on paper?
Darien: No. Those are good too, though. :-}
Brunnen_G: Aaaiiiieeeghh! I had those once when I was in the USA. I couldn't believe they were supposed to be edible.
Silvercup: Dots are kinda like gum drops
Darien: Dots are way superior to ordinary gum drops, though. In fact, they RULE.
Sam: Dots are cool except that they don't have that sugar coating. The sugar coating is very important.
Dave: One cheap candy that I *detest*, however, are "spice drops". Those are just NASTY.
Darien: You're absolutely right. Spice drops are icky.
Nyperold: Hey, spice drops are good.
Dave: Sam: I bet you hate ju-ju fish, too.
Sam: Why would you eat a ju-ju fish if you can eat a swedish fish instead? Swedish fish are the haddock of candy fish. Ju-ju fish are those spongy slime growths that show up in tanks you don't clean.
Dave: Both are ruling though.
Darien: Gummy bears rule, too.
Darien: No, they're better without the sugar coating. They don't assail you with entirely too much sweet right off.
Sam: But we've already established your candy tastes are so fragile and delicate, you can't take the goodness of actual good candy lest you suffer some kind of system overload.
Darien: We've also already established that you are the head of some weird splinter religion that focuses on obscure candy and places European candies above American candies just because you seem "cultured" that way. Dark priest that you are.
Darien: Jelly Bellies rule. Any nominations from the croud for new flavours?
Dave: "Red" and "Purple"

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