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Archives: A Brawl of Ghosts and Evil People

2/3/00

Here's another chat transcript in the Battle Royale vein. I didn't know chat sessions could be so suspenseful.


* Brunnen_G thinks this chat room needs more car chases and space battles
* Brunnen_G wouldn't mind some helicopters and gunfights too
gremlinn: Too bad we can't summon MoleBot or something.
* Brunnen_G whacks gremlinn with a MoleBot
* Brunnen_G whacks Stephen with a 17-year-old female cyborg
Stephen: Oooh!
* Brunnen_G thinks Stephen might be enjoying this too much
gremlinn: I'm going to type "whack" as "wahck", to go along with "ahck".
Darien has entered.
Stephen: Hey, it's Darien!
Darien: Who? Darien? Where?
* Darien whips around in confusion.
Stephen: Right behind you!!! He's about to hit you!!
* Darien ducks.
Stephen: Darien, look out for Darien!
Darien: Somebody! Help!!
* Darien hits Darien in the head.
* Darien winces in pain.
* Stephen fights Darien, so that Darien can run
Stephen: All right Darien, it is down to you, and it is down to me
* Darien runs away.
* Stephen chases him
Stephen: Not so fast!
Darien: No! Don't chase me! Go after Darien!
Stephen: Oh, sorry, wrong one!
Darien: Over here! :-P
* Stephen runs after Darien
Darien: That's better. Come get me, cyborg boy!
* Stephen readies his flyin' fists o' fury
Darien: Look out, Stephen! He has a DarienRang!
* Darien brandishes his DarienRang.
* Stephen shuts his eyes and goes in punching
* Darien can't look - it's too gruesome.
* Darien shuts his eyes and punches back.
* Stephen shouts "Not in the face, not in the face!"
* Darien hits Stephen in the face anyway.
Darien: Darien, you're just...just evil! Stop that!
* Stephen pulls off a brilliant strategy: first he hits Darien, then he kicks him, then he hits him again
* Brunnen_G indiscriminately whacks both of them
* Stephen still has his eyes closed
* Darien reels from Stephen's brialliantly executed plan, and counters with one of his own - Darien spits in Stephen's eye.
* Stephen is immune to Darien's spit -- his eyes are shut!!!
* Darien realizes his mistake, and spits in Stephen's ears instead.
Stephen: Ewwww!!! You got spit in my EAR!
Stephen: That's just wrong
Stephen: You sick freak!
gremlinn: stop the wahcking, or I WILL RUIN THIS CHAt!!!!11
Darien: Gremlinn, can you? Can you do something about those two?
gremlinn: Actually no, I am powerless.
* Stephen starts pulling hair
* Darien laughs evilly.
Darien: Alright, Darien. I've had about enough of you.
* Darien faces off with Darien.
Stephen: Take this you deranged idiot!
* Stephen punches Darien in the kidneys while he's facing off with Darien
Darien: Haha! Now, while he's stunned - I'll finish him off!
RinkChat: User Darien has been kicked from the chat room by Darien.
Darien has left.
Stephen: Good work Darien!
RinkChat: User Darien has been banned from the chat room by Stephen.
Stephen: Let's keep him out!
Stephen: Oh wait... sealing that temporal rift also trapped the good Darien
RinkChat: User Darien has been unbanned from the chat room by Stephen.
Darien has entered.
Darien: Whew. He's gone.
Stephen: Wait a minute... are you the good Darien or the evil Darien?
Stephen: How can we tell!?
Darien: Well... if I were the good Darien, I'd admit it, right?
Stephen: Uhh... yeah, I guess. So are you?
Darien: But if I were the bad Darien, wouldn't I say I was the good Darien anyway?
gremlinn: He's stalling...must be the evil one.
Stephen: Darien: Maybe... he is pretty crafty
Darien: So we're kind of in a bind here.
Stephen: Waitaminute! Darien was evil to begin with!
Darien: What? Err...
Stephen: So either you're the evil Darien we've always had, or a new, good Darien!
Stephen: Dilemma solved!
* Darien looks for an escape...
* Darien finds one next to the "f1."
Stephen: NO!! DON'T PRESS THAT!!!
Stephen: IT WILL RUIN THIS CHAt!!!
Darien: Ahh, you see... you don't know my secret.
Darien: I am not really Darien at all.
* Stephen gasps
Stephen: No!
Brunnen_G: LOL
Stephen: It can't be!
Darien: You did me the courtesy of eliminating that meddling pest.
Brunnen_G: LOL LOL LOL
Darien: I am, in fact, a dark priest of Liface!
Stephen: Well... you going to explain to us your evil plan then?
Stephen: Don't say you're going to ahck us all!
* Darien begins summoning Liface...
GhostOfLiface has entered.
Darien: Bwa ha ha!
GhostOfLiface: I will ahck1!!
Brunnen_G: No! I don't want to be ahcked!
Stephen: Hey, wait! You didn't say Liface`
Stephen: Now I have your password!
Darien: What? Noooo!
* Stephen ahcks the fake Darien's computer using his password
Darien: Spirit! Get him!
Stephen: BG, grem, fend those two off!
* GhostOfLiface ahcks Stephen!
* Stephen is bypassing main security... he's almost breached the firewall
Darien: My computer... being... ahcked...
* Stephen is attempting to reroute the main encryption codes to central processor
Stephen: Curses!! He's got 128 bit encryption!
Stephen: I need some help here... i'm being ahcked!
* Darien desperately attempts to reverse-compile Stephen!
Stephen: hahahaha!!! i have ahcked u!!!!!!
* Stephen uploads a RAM doubler virus
* Stephen is stupid
GhostOfLiface: Ooo... u will be ahcked! All of you!!!11 I WILL RUIN THIS CHAt!!1
Darien: No! My RAM!...
* Stephen has almost bypassed the secondary cyber guard
* Stephen is in the main CPU register database
Stephen: HAHAHAHAH! I HAVE AHCXKED!!!!!
* Stephen needs 10 more seconds....
* Darien downloads and installs Stephen-protection software...
RinkChat: User Stephen has been labeled 'LIFACE RULZ' by Stephen.
* Stephen is almost defeated...
Stephen: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
* Stephen has one hope left: SCANDISK
GhostOfLiface: d00d i m so 733t!
* Stephen runs Scandisk, temporarily defeating Liface
GhostOfLiface: noooooooooo~!!!
* GhostOfLiface pants, exhausted...
* Stephen then finishes rerouting the main data bit flow from Darien's computer and re-establishes the main gateway link to the real Darien
Darien: NO! NOT THAT!
Stephen: Hahahaha!!! I think we're in the clear!
GhostOfDarien has entered.
Stephen: I have re-routed you, Dark One!
Stephen: Certainly you have no recourse against my IP Buffer!
GhostOfDarien: Alright, usurper. Prepare to feel the wrath of Darien!
Stephen: Darien: You take out the fake Darien, I'll work on The Ghost
* Stephen rushes at Lif
GhostOfDarien: Stephen: I'm on it!
Stephen: All right you ahcker u
GhostOfLiface: d00d i will ahck u!!1
* Brunnen_G can't work out what's going on, so just attacks whoever are the bad guys
Brunnen_G: Take that, bad guys! *ka-blammo*
GhostOfDarien: Okay, "Darien." Back to the abyss with you!
* Stephen tangles with Liface
Stephen: I can't hold him off much longer....
Stephen: hAhahAHAShasahahah!!@#*@() #$U**#&$*(&#$*@
Darien: No!!! He's... he's UNINSTALLING ME!!
Stephen: I ha6¤Ž` ve ahcked this compŮ┘ ter!!!!!
Darien: BG! Go help Stephen! Quickly!
* Brunnen_G helps Stephen
Darien: I've regained some control - Dark Darien is on the run!
Stephen: now i will put on windowz 2000!!!!! hahahahaah!
Stephen: ugh... computer... crashing... i must... sacrifice self....
* Stephen explodes in a burst of GPFs
Stephen has left.
Darien: Not Windows 2000! Quckly I must destroy all vestiges of Dark Darien, and break the summoning!
* Brunnen_G thinks... if only I was an op, I might be able to do something...
* Darien swaps some jumpers...
* Brunnen_G jumps some swappers...
Darien: Clearing... CMOS... memory...
Stephen2_0 has entered.
Brunnen_G: Thank goodness! Just who we needed!
GhostOfLiface: d00d! No! stop! i will ahck!!1
* GhostOfLiface tries to ahck Darien
Stephen2_0: Ahhh, so then, Stephen 1.82 is finally destroyed!
Brunnen_G: You are powerless against the new improved Stephen 2.0, GhostOfLiface!
Darien: Ahh! Help me!
Stephen2_0: Well done, Darien and Ghost of Liface
Stephen2_0: But now... you are both expendable
Stephen2_0: I had long been seeking a way to rid myself of that... pest
Darien: AHCKAHCKAHCKAHCK!!11!
* Brunnen_G still isn't sure who the bad guys are, and is beginning to be afraid it might be me
Stephen2_0: You see, now I have usurped his power and place as SUPREME DICTATOR!! Mwahahaha!
GhostOfLiface: what?? no way!!! u cant get rid of steven like taht!!!1
Stephen2_0: It is already done!
* GhostOfLiface ignores Darien and ahcks Stephen 2.0!
* Darien pants...
GhostOfDarien: d00d ur strong!
Darien: NO! LIFACE HAS POSSESSED MY OTHERWORLDLY VESSEL!
Darien: Must... hurry...
* Darien finishes clearing his CMOS memory! Dark Darien is banished to the island of misfit code! His apparition fades away...
GhostOfLiface: Noooooooo..... !
GhostOfLiface has left.
GhostOfDarien has left.
Darien: Whew. So much for him.
* Stephen2_0 is immune to all these evils. He is Version 2.0!
Stephen2_0: Tsk tsk. It seems you all have perished.
Darien: Stephen 2.0, I can think of a way in which Stephen 1.82 was superior, you know.
Stephen2_0: Well... maybe not _all_ of you
Stephen2_0: I see that Darien is still here.
Darien: And finally free!
Brunnen_G: Yay Darien!
Stephen2_0: ANY WHO OPPOSE ME SHALL FEEL MY WRATH!!!!
Darien: Stephen 2.0, I know your weakness.
* Stephen2_0 summons Stephen 1.82's lifeless corpse
Stephen has entered.
RinkChat: User Stephen2_0 has been made an operator by Stephen.
Stephen has left.
Stephen2_0: Oh, Darien? What is that?
RinkChat: User Stephen2_0 has been kicked from the chat room by Darien.
Stephen2_0 has left.
Darien: That.
Stephen2_0 has entered.
Stephen has entered.
RinkChat: User Stephen has been banned from the chat room by Darien.
Stephen has left.
Stephen2_0: CURSES!!!
Darien: Hah. No necromancy will help you, evil one.
Stephen2_0: But... it is a folly to think that shall beat me
Darien: Oh?
Stephen2_0: FOR I HAVE ALREADY ESTABLISHED MY TRUE CLAIM: BEHOLD THE MESSAGE FORUM!!!
Stephen2_0: Ouch! That's it. That's the last time I pick my ear.
Stephen2_0 has left.


Here's Stephen 2.0's forum post.


Stephen2_0 has entered.
Stephen2_0: Oh Darien, you shall FEEL MY WRATH
Stephen2_0: Oh yes, you shall
Darien: Hehee. I think I'm doing pretty well at foiling your dominance here, O dark one.
Stephen2_0: It is but a temporary setback
RinkChat: User Stephen2_0 has been shrunken by Darien.
Darien: Come on. What can you do when you're so small?
* Stephen2_0 summons a minion
Radebur has entered.
RinkChat: User Radebur has been labeled 'Possessed' by Radebur.
Radebur: yes, dark lord? wut do you need from me?
Stephen2_0 has left.
Stephen2_0 has entered.
Rubedar has entered.
Rubedar: d00d! check it out im ur evil twin!!!11 lolol
Stephen2_0: Rudebar...? Hrmm, an imposter
Stephen2_0: It is no matter
Radebur: wut do u command o dark lord?
Stephen2_0: Rad: Kill this impostor
Radebur: az u wish
CyborgFemale17 has entered.
* Radebur draws a blaster rifle and starts shooting at Rudebar
CyborgFemale17: I hear your commands and obey, Supreme Dictator.
* CyborgFemale17 destroys Rudebar with one blast from her cyborg blaster arm thingy
* Stephen2_0 has read the Evil Overlord list and is not going to fall for *that* one, Cyborg
Rubedar: u cant hit me! lolol
Darien: Rubedar! Quick! Return fire!
Rubedar: ok dairen!
* CyborgFemale17 kills Rudebar before he can return fire
Stephen2_0: ARGH!! I struggled the keyboard away from 2.0!! It's me, Stephen! Unban me so I can kill this imposter!!!
Stephen2_0: No, wait, ignore that
Stephen2_0: DON'T UNBAN ME!!!!1
Stephen2_0: jifrt-u
Stephen2_0: sf
Stephen2_0: sfokj;ewf
Stephen2_0: sfokj;ewfa]ofe
Rudebar has entered.
Rudebar: LOLOLOL!!!~`111
RinkChat: User Rubedar has been made an operator by Darien.
RinkChat: User gremlinn has been made an operator by Darien.
Stephen2_0: I apologize for that... we had some... minor technical difficulties here
Darien: You guys are my backup, in case Stephen can't help us...
RinkChat: User Stephen has been unbanned from the chat room by Darien.
Stephen has entered.
Stephen: Yes!! Thank you, Darien!
Stephen2_0: What, no, what is this!?
* CyborgFemale17 bzztt...bztzztztz...helpBZTZ *zot* BLAMMO
* CyborgFemale17 has exploded
CyborgFemale17 has left.
RinkChat: User Rudebar has been made an operator by gremlinn.
RinkChat: User Stephen2_0 has been made an operator by Rudebar.
RinkChat: User Stephen2_0 has been kicked from the chat room by Rubedar.
Stephen2_0 has left.
RinkChat: User Stephen2_0 has been banned from the chat room by Stephen.
RinkChat: User Rudebar has been kicked from the chat room by Rubedar.
Rudebar has left.
Stephen: Haha!
Darien: Quickly, Stephen! Do something!
Stephen: I have defeated him!
Darien: Oh, you did something. Oops.
Stephen: I managed to find an old Slackware bootdisk
* Darien feels silly now.
Darien: Now help poor Rad. He's been possessed.
Stephen: Radebur: u r a 733t d00d
Brunnen_G: Yes, speak to him in his own language. It will make him feel better.
Radebur: I got my math test back today. I got a 35 on the first test, and a 45 on this one. So basically I need a 65 on the final to pass with a 70.
Stephen: r4d: u d0 n0t n33d 2 be afr41d
RinkChat: User Radebur has been unlabeled by Radebur.
Silvercup has entered.
Silvercup: don't you people sleep??
Brunnen_G: No.
RinkChat: User Silvercup has been made an operator by gremlinn.
Stephen: Hrm. The /unpossess command worked fine
Radebur: lol!!!L!O!L
Radebur: thank u, steven!!!!!!!!!!
Radebur: i have 2 go now!!!!LOL!!! that was funny!!!!!!!
Radebur has left.
Stephen: Well then... I think everything's under control
Rubedar: well i gess ill go too! lolol! you guys are crazy!!!!
Rubedar has left.
Stephen: Uhm... we've got quite a few ops here :P
Stephen: But why isn't BG opped?
* Brunnen_G was wondering that, too.
* Brunnen_G explains that it is because Darien can't recognise a hint when it is dropped on his head from a great height.
RinkChat: User Brunnen_G has been made an operator by Stephen.
Stephen: Yes, that Darien is quite a chump
Stephen: I mean chum
Stephen: Er...
Stephen: Sorry. I guess there's still some evil in me
Darien: What hint did I miss?
.
.
.
Darien: Well. That was much more fun than typing this silly paper. :-}


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