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Archives: BatDarien vs. the Jokestah


For this transcript, no explanation is necessary. It's a good thing, too, because I suspect that no explanation is possible.

* Issachar is knocked all the way across the screen to Norton AntiVirus.
Issachar: No! Not the virus vats!!! NOOOOOoooooo.......*
Darien: Issachar! Issachar, are you okay? Speak to me, man!
* Issachar tumbles into the virus vats, not unlike Jack Nicholson in the movie Batman.
RinkChat: User Issachar has been labeled 'The Jokester' by Issachar.
Darien: Oh no! He's becoming the IssaJoker!
RinkChat: User Darien has been labeled 'Darien Wayne' by Darien.
* Darien becomes BatDarien!
RinkChat: User Darien has been labeled 'BatDarien' by Darien.
Issachar: (No, silly. ShadowClerk has to become Batman, because *he* knocked me into that toxic vat!)
Darien: (Oh, right. Oops.)
* ShadowClerk becomes BatClerk!
ShadowClerk: Bellowing Backpacks, BatDarien!
RinkChat: User Issachar has been labeled 'The Jokestah' by Issachar.
* Issachar undergoes a hideous mutation into a hideously un-funny comedian wannabe! Gasp, the HORROR!
Issachar: So, ah, these computer viruses that are supposed to be everywhere? What's up with those???
Issachar: I mean, should I be putting condoms on my fingers before I type, or what?
Darien has left.
Issachar: And these violent video games that turn kids into killers? Hello? What's up with that?
BatDarien has entered.
BatDarien: Alright, Jokestah. Now you've had it.
Issachar: I mean, -- Ack!! It's BATDARIEN!!!!
* BatDarien has danced with the devil in the pale moonlinght - in two inch heels.
* Issachar frantically tries to come up with more and more awful jokes, in order to subdue BatDarien with uncontrollable groans
* BatDarien uses his BatDarien Jokebook to fight the Jokestah on his own turf.
BatDarien: There once was a man from Nantucket - oops!
* BatDarien has the wrong Jokebook.
* BatDarien blushes.
* Issachar , under a barrage of off-color jokes from the anti-hero BatDarien, attempts to flee on foot.
* BatDarien searches frantically through his Darien Utility Belt...
* BatDarien finds the flee powder, and uses it too kill The Jokestah's attempts.
* Issachar has been utterly fumigated, and drops in his tracks.
* BatDarien opts for a more fantastic victory, and searches through his Darien Utility Belt for a Wonderful Toy (tm) with which to subdue the villain even more...
* Issachar gets back up and keeps running.
* BatDarien throws a DarienRang.
* BatDarien misses completely.
* BatDarien gets hit in the face with his own DarienRang.
* Issachar digs deep in the pockets of his Jokestah costume and flings everything he can find at BatDarien in an attempt to slow him down.
Issachar: Incoming rubber chickens!!!!!!!!
* BatDarien drags himself back up and proceeds to trip and fall again stepping on the Jokestah's whoopie-cushion caltrops.
Issachar: [Sorry, but afk for a second while I get the rice started]
Issachar is away.
* BatDarien goes to a commercial.
Pliffilif has entered.
Cassie has entered.
Cassie: hey all
Darien: Hello, both.
Cassie: hey all
Cassie: hello?
Darien: Hello.
Cassie: hi
Issachar is back.
* BatDarien returns from the commercial break.
* Issachar hies to the nearest lair of evil, the Legion of Doom!
Issachar: Yo, Lex and company! I could use some help here!
* BatDarien picks his dazed self up from the ground in time to see the Jokestah enter the lair!
* Issachar sics Braniac and Scarecrow on BatDarien's rubber-clad butt
* BatDarien screams!
* BatDarien is saved by that very same rubber-clad butt, as Braniac and Scarecrow bounce off and fly across the horizon...
Cassie has left.
BatDarien: Alright, Jokestah! Come out! I have the place currounded!
Issachar: Curses!!!
Issachar: He's got the place currounded!
BatDarien: Ahem. Surrounded!
Issachar: Even worse!
* BatDarien was eating Oreos and couldn't speak clearly.
Issachar: All right, BatDarien, I'll come out.....
* BatDarien gloats in triumph.
Issachar: my new, improved JokestahMobile, with spring-loaded plastic missile cannon!
* BatDarien jumps!
BatDarien: To me, robot plane!
* Issachar hits the FIRE button, knowing full well that some kid could get his eye poked out, whose parents would then have his JokestahMobile recalled.
* BatDarien gets his eye poked out.
BatDarien: Ahh! Geez, Jokestah! Watch it with that thing!
Issachar: Oh, sorry.
* Issachar watches it with that thing, as he makes a break for it.
Issachar: vrrrrrRRRRRRRMMMMMM!!!!!!!
* BatDarien uses his DarienLitigation powers to file a lawsuit against the Jokestah and the JokestahMobile company.
* BatDarien pursues the Jokestah in his Robot Plane!
Issachar: What's that up ahead!!! OMYGOSH--- a subPOENA!!!!
* BatDarien drops injunctions on the Jokestah.
BatDarien: Give up, Jokestah!
Issachar: Ouch! Oww! Hey!!!
Issachar: Injunction, junction, what's THAT function??????
* Issachar , under an unstoppable litigious assault, surrenders
ExtiRobin has entered.
BatDarien: ExtiRobin! Go put yourself in an inordinate amount of danger to apprehend the villain!
Issachar: You haven't seen the last of me, BatDarien!!!!!
Issachar: Oh, wait. ExtiRobin has just put himself in an inordinate amount of danger to apprehend me.
* ExtiRobin seems to have hanged himself on a telecommunications transmission line. BatDarien, Help!
* Issachar changes his mind and uses ExtiRobin as a human shield
ExtiRobin: I am superhuman.
ExtiRobin: Please use me as a superhuman shield, or go home
Issachar: You're coming with me, ExtiRobin! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Brunnen_G has entered.
BatDarien: Brunnen-G! Stay back! He has a hostage!
* Brunnen_G looks around and thinks, er....oh. Um.
* Issachar extricates ExtiRobin from the telecommunications line and flees down the information superhighway
BatDarien: Alright, Jokestah! What do you want?
Issachar: I want you to eat my data dust, BatDarien!
BatDarien: (But... that's not nearly as appetizing as meatloaf. :-P)
BatDarien: Just don't hurt the boy (wonder)!
* ExtiRobin waits for Issachar to put him in grave danger so BatDarien can rescue him.
* BatDarien has a brilliant plan!
RinkChat: User ExtiRobin has been shrunken by Darien.
BatDarien: Now, ExtiRobin! Run!
RinkChat: User ExtiRobin has been labeled 'Running like hec' by ExtiRobin.
BatDarien: You'll never be able to catch ExtiRobin in tiny form, Jokestah! The game is up!
* Issachar slips on ExtiRobin's banana peel, which is swarming with little larval bugs, and falls to the ground in a heap. (Not of meatloaf.)
BatDarien: Thanks to Darien Industries and their patented Shrink Ray!
* ExtiRobin doesn't have the ability to open Unshrunken doors while running away. Help !
* BatDarien blasts the door open with his DarienRayGun!
ExtiRobin: All right, BatDarien! I'm out. Now what.
BatDarien: ExtiRobin: Contact Commissioner Stoddard!
Issachar: Suddenly, when it looks as though the game is up, ...... Dinner time!!!! All you kids come on upstairs for meatloaf!!!!!
BatDarien: Ooo! Meatloaf!
RinkChat: User ExtiRobin has been unlabeled by ExtiRobin.
* Issachar quickly forgets his role as the Jokestah and charges up the stairs (knocking BatDarien aside on the way).
BatDarien: Curse you, Jokestah! You may have escaped this time, but next time you won't be so lucky.
* Issachar mumbles through a big bite of meatloaf.... "Yh, ynh, curf yu to BatDrrun!"
* Issachar loves happy endings. :-)
* Brunnen_G watches silently from the background and thinks RinkChat is the greatest.
ExtiRobin: ^OOF^ I was just tromped on by the BatDarien in his Unshrunken form.
RinkChat: User ExtiRobin has been unshrunken by Darien.
BatDarien: Sorry about that.
* BatDarien rushes ExtiRobin to the local hospital, and quickly reverts to his secret identity.
BatDarien has left.
ExtiRobin: Does Gotham city pay for these medical treatments? I don't want my insurance to rise in cost.
Darien has entered.
Darien: Well, hello, all.
Issachar: Darien? You just missed the greatest thing! You *always* miss it when BatDarien shows up and saves the day!
Darien: Really? Drat! What happened?

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