Archives: Baby Food
Many of my favorite moments in RinkChat aren't conscious efforts to
be entertaining. This brief conversation is an ordinary conversation held by
* Grishny 's son likes to eat paper for some odd reason...
Ferrick: Eat more fiber, I always say.
Ferrick: Does he like dirt?
Grishny: Well, he hasn't sampled dirt yet. But he does like to suck on shoe soles.
Ferrick: Are you sure someone didn't switch your son with a shaved puppy?
Ferrick: Although, I'm sure you'd notice.
Grishny: Naw. Shaved puppies would have teeth by now.
Ferrick: I've read about studies that say some babies eat dirt instinctively to get certain minerals. I don't know if I believe it.
Grishny: That's strange.
Ferrick: Red dirt.
Grishny: Yes, red dirt. How interesting.
Nyperold: Hmm. Red dirt would have lots of iron...oxide.
Ferrick: Ferrick dirt.
Grishny: I think babies eat dirt because they're stupid and they don't know any better yet.
Ferrick: That could be. Babies sure aren't smart enough to make a meal. Even ramen is beyond them.
Grishny: Wouldn't it be great if they could? "Jonathan, it's your turn to cook dinner tonight. Make something yummy, okay?"
Ferrick: "Oh, not strained peas AGAIN!!"
Ferrick: He could quickly put together a whipped ham and squash casserole.
Ferrick: He'd probably put corn in it, too.
Grishny: Maybe so. Jonathan doesn't eat ham though. And he's not allowed to have corn until he's one.
Grishny: So if he did make something, and it had corn in it, I'd be surprised. I'd probably say, "Hey! There's corn in here!"
Nyperold: "Ahh! Dabeedo aeee!" ("Hey! There's corn in here!")
Grishny: Red corn?
Grishny: Oh, that's maize..."Indian corn," right?
Grishny: Nyperold, my wife says stick to being an adult. "Ya don't got the baby thing down."
Ferrick: And don't give him any peanut butter until after he's two.
Grishny: Where'd you hear that?
Ferrick: More studies that I've read. Kids that eat Peanut Butter before the age of two are more likely to develop sever allergies to peanuts and/or other nuts.
Nyperold: Sever allergies? You mean, they could sneeze their heads off?
Nyperold: That would nut be good. *Cashew*
Grishny: Cashews aren't nuts. They're a seed.
* Ferrick has gone to seed.
* Grishny thinks Ferrick must be seedy
Grishny: Ok. "Sorry Jonathan, no Reese's cups for you."
Ferrick: And don't put salsa in his armpits until he is nine.
Ferrick: And don't wear loud pants or listen to embarrassing music until he is about 13 or 14.
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