Archives: Weddings, the Revenge
12/26/99
Here's another one.
* Morris is sure glad he wore a bow tie today.
* Morris starts the bloody music to kick off the ceremony.
Wolf: logging...
Bo: (as annoying relative) *COUGH!*
Dave: Ok, so is everyone *finally* ready?
Kiki: I'm ready
Morris: I'm ready
* Darien the best man is ready!
Dave: All right. (play music)
Dave: (Everyone walks down aisle)
* Dave clears his throat.
Bo: (as annoying relative) *HACK!*
Darien: Shh!
Dave: Ok, so we're like, gathered here and stuff.
Dave: Today.
Dave: For a wedding.
Dave: If you're here for Bingo, that's tomorrow night.
Darien: Oh... oops...
Bo: (as annoying relative) *gets up and leaves* Not Bingo night...
Dave: And the singles dance is on *alternate* Sundays, so you guys clear out too.
Dave: Ok, here we go. We're gathered here today, as I said before, to witness these two,
Dave: Kiki and Morris
Dave: Be very silly.
Dave: I mean, get married.
Dave: If there is anyone here, who is still waiting for Bingo, please leave. Thanks. Sign the guestbook on the way out, though.
Dave: So anyway, let's get on with it, right?
Dave: Kiki, do you take Morris,
Dave: As far away from the rest of us as possible,
Dave: And promise never to bring him back?
Dave: Um, wait, hang on.
* Darien smells Dave's breath to see if he's drunk.
Dave: I mean, do you take Morris, to have and to keep,
Dave: In health and when he's puking on the floor,
Dave: As long as you both shall visit RinkChat?
Dave: If so, please say "I do."
Kiki: I do. (I even used capitals and punctuation for the occasion!)
Dave: Ok. Um...
Dave: Yeah, umm... Morris,
Dave: Do you take Kiki,
Dave: to the dentist to get her teeth cleaned,
Dave: to the mall to get her some new shoes,
Dave: And to the hairdresser to get her hair done,
Dave: As long as you both shall visit RinkChat?
Dave: If so, please say "I do."
Morris: I do.
* Darien hands Morris the ring.
Dave: Awesome.... Umm. Hey, does anyone know what comes next?
Dave: Oh, no wait, I've got it.
Dave: I 37... I 37...
* Darien reminds Dave that that's tomorrow night!
Dave: Oh yeah! Oh sorry.
Dave: Ok, now Kiki, give Morris a ring, and then Morris, I guess you give her a ring.
* Darien is still holding the ring out to Morris.
Dave: These rings are cool, because they're like, round and stuff, and that symbolizes a whole lot of stuff.
Dave: So put them on, you guys. Chop chop.
Kiki: we did!
Dave: Great! Ok, now, I guess you're married! Go ahead and kiss her, Morris!
* Morris kisses Kiki
* Darien applauds!
Bo: BINGO!
Dave: Oh no wait! I didn't say "Man and wife" yet!
* Kiki blushes
Kiki: oops...
* Dave says "Man and wife" very solemnly
* Grace waits for Kiki to toss the bouquet...and Morris to throw the garter..
* Kiki throws the bouquet
* Darien catches it.
* Grace tries to claw the flowers from Darien's hand...but oh wait...Daisies?? Forget it..
* Morris doesn't remember anything about throwing a garter, and he doesn't even know what a garter is, but he throws one anyway
* Darien catches that, too.
* Darien then takes some of the candles.
* Grace stuffs some of the pretty vases from nearby tables into her purse..
* Kiki whaps Darien on the hand with a fork
Bo: *throws rice at everyone* Man, that's the only reason weddings are cool...
* Grace takes Morris aside to tactfully explain a garter, and why he really should know what one is before his honeymoon...jeesh. ;)
* Morris thanks Grace, but he still doesn't know what a garter is, seeing as how Grace hasn't yet explained it
* Darien thinks Morris will find out what a garter is in plenty of time. ;-}
Morris: the only thing i know of that has the word "garter" in it is a type of snake
* Morris goes off with Kiki to join the honeymoon
Morris: bye, everyone
Kiki: bye!!!
Bo has left.
Pliffilif has left.
Kiki has left.
Morris has left.
Grace has left.
Darien: Geez. Has this place ever emptied so quickly before?
* Darien starts cleaning up the mess.
Wolf: It's just like a real wedding. "Off to the munchies" is what everyone thinks after a long public functionary.
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.
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Morris has entered.
Morris: just found out about "garter"...heh heh heh
Morris: i just came in to inform the world that i found out
Morris: i'm leaving now
Morris: bye
Morris has left.
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